Why do girls continually stay in a relationships when all it does is suck the life out of them and is just making things worse?
I think part of it is because even though there is a lot of bad stuff going on, they suffer through it because the connection they have will bring much more pain if broken. Soul ties are a very strong union, and when they are built or based on great needs there is terrible pain and grief when they are broken and the enormity of those needs are felt again. Basically the way a negative soul tie works is we have needs deep in our hearts that need satisfying and usaually, on a subconscious level, we become attracted to people that we feel can fill those needs and bring us comfort. When we become connected with this person and and begin to give ourselves to them more and more, the soul ties become stronger and more solid. Problem is once we feel confident that the person is not going to leave us, we begin to pick at the things in them and the things they do that we dont like about them, or out of rejection start to blame them for the things that have been done to us in the past eg - if you have been let down by men, abused or cheated on it effects your self esteem and it can get to the point that when you are with someone later in life your insecurities can rise and your fear that the person will do the same, because your low self esteem tells you that you deserve it, and you start to expect him to do it and get paranoid, start checking on him, etc. (this is an extreme example). Now the problem is that you have this need based connection that has met a deep need in your heart, but there has arisen a whole lot of issues that cause a lot of conflict and stress and grief in the relationship. To leave is MUCH more painful and daunting than it is to stay and suffer - until it gets to the point that you cant STAND it any more and just HAVE to leave. This is also why so many people leave relationships hating the person that they once "loved"... The answer is to make sure your foundation is Christ, and that He meets your deepest needs, and then build a relationship with someone on that foundation - not on the grounds of having your needs met, which is really just selfishness, not Love.