ok i guess everyone wants to act perfect...... like i never said it was okay to have sex without marriage but you do not have to feel super bad and let it take over your life... taking advantage is doing something out of lack of caring.. its not the fact someone doesnt care about what god says its fact many people have sexual desires and at the time they do not think.... but its fine if you some of you people want act so "innocent" but thanks for your opinion
sex without marriage ?
- Thread starter densin
- Start date
-
Christian Chat is a moderated online Christian community allowing Christians around the world to fellowship with each other in real time chat via webcam, voice, and text, with the Christian Chat app. You can also start or participate in a Bible-based discussion here in the Christian Chat Forums, where members can also share with each other their own videos, pictures, or favorite Christian music.
If you are a Christian and need encouragement and fellowship, we're here for you! If you are not a Christian but interested in knowing more about Jesus our Lord, you're also welcome! Want to know what the Bible says, and how you can apply it to your life? Join us!
To make new Christian friends now around the world, click here to join Christian Chat.
I do not believe it was people's intention to come off as perfect densin... I can speak for myself and say that I am not a virgin I was for a long part of my life, and it led me to a sense of entitlement and self righteousness that wasn't at all what God wanted for me. I learned that I wasn't better than anyone else that we are all the same in God's eyes and he chooses to love us unconditionally. I don't completely agree with your idea that "you do not have to feel super bad" perhaps its how you worded it. If you do not feel like bad for something you did wrong, well there's not much point in asking for forgiveness if you feel you haven't done anything wrong. I've come to learn that we tend to focus sin on ourselves when in all reality it should be focused on God and how Sin pushes us away from God. I agree that it can be tough with peer pressure and it usually happens when we don't think or we think and we ignore the thought...but God forgives when we ask for forgiveness. If you look at examples in scripture though like of the adulterous woman in John 8:
8 1 but Jesus went to the Mount of Olives.
2 At dawn he appeared again in the temple courts, where all the people gathered around him, and he sat down to teach them. 3 The teachers of the law and the Pharisees brought in a woman caught in adultery. They made her stand before the group 4 and said to Jesus, “Teacher, this woman was caught in the act of adultery. 5 In the Law Moses commanded us to stone such women. Now what do you say?” 6 They were using this question as a trap, in order to have a basis for accusing him.
But Jesus bent down and started to write on the ground with his finger. 7 When they kept on questioning him, he straightened up and said to them, “Let any one of you who is without sin be the first to throw a stone at her.” 8 Again he stooped down and wrote on the ground.
9 At this, those who heard began to go away one at a time, the older ones first, until only Jesus was left, with the woman still standing there. 10 Jesus straightened up and asked her, “Woman, where are they? Has no one condemned you?”
11 “No one, sir,” she said.“Then neither do I condemn you,” Jesus declared. “Go now and leave your life of sin.”
As you can see, Jesus did not tell her to continue to live that way so that he can always forgive but to be forgiven and leave that sin behind. When we ask for forgiveness we do so knowing that we were wrong and do not wish to live or keep living in that manner, granted we are only human and are imperfect beings it is important to understand and take the forgiveness concept to heart and work to not commit the sins over again. Take it from me though I have asked for forgiveness for things that I do more often than I would like it sure isn't easy, but it does not mean we can disregard the concept of forgiveness and the importance it has. If I sinned thinking well God is going to forgive me anyways so what's the big deal, not only am I being selfish but I am also making a fool out of God, for if I truly believed it was wrong I wouldn't have the thought process well I'm going to be forgiven anyways so what's the problem? Avoiding sin means having self-control.
I believe no one is here to suggest they are better or more "holy" than anyone else speaking for myself your wording threw me off perhaps it was similar to everyone else. So I do apologize if I misjudged or came off as judgmental. God Bless!
K
Densin, I hear what your saying. Sex, especially in our generation is everywhere you look. It's the most popular form of advertisement used, it's portrayed as self expression and young people who are trying to wait are hounded and ridiculed by the majority of their peers. God's mercies are new every morning ( Thank you Jesus ) so, no we should not live under the heavy weight of our guilt and shame because if we are in Christ we are forgiven and made new. The bible also says that we will not be tempted beyond what we can resist, and that we are to put off the old sinful man and put on our new nature. We all sin, we all fall short, we all need God's grace daily, but we ought to STRIVE to live as Christ lived. Either way, I love you brother, God bless you.
I
I must say I admire those that wait and those in chasity.
I would feel very proud to meet someone and we chaste till we marry.
Pray that God fills the sacred sex life with holy ghost and love and blessings of God.
I some times orgasm because i do not masturbate and do not have sex.
Have masturbated and sinned a few times last few years but stopped doing so now.
because of my current chasity i have periods where i orgasm every day, many times.
This disturbes or afects other things in my life.
Its sometimes like i have wlld beasts within me i must tame into 9 and pure in christ not mentioning my human time .
I pray for a sex/love life that will be in marriage and i understand your frustration.
Many seem feel similar things and many here have written they masturabte and watch porn or are trying to quit.
One can strive to be ones best and improve when and where one lacks or has a fall back.
Like quit alcohol or cigarettes if you fall back then quit again till you are clean.
encourage self and reward with positive things.
I would feel very proud to meet someone and we chaste till we marry.
Pray that God fills the sacred sex life with holy ghost and love and blessings of God.
I some times orgasm because i do not masturbate and do not have sex.
Have masturbated and sinned a few times last few years but stopped doing so now.
because of my current chasity i have periods where i orgasm every day, many times.
This disturbes or afects other things in my life.
Its sometimes like i have wlld beasts within me i must tame into 9 and pure in christ not mentioning my human time .
I pray for a sex/love life that will be in marriage and i understand your frustration.
Many seem feel similar things and many here have written they masturabte and watch porn or are trying to quit.
One can strive to be ones best and improve when and where one lacks or has a fall back.
Like quit alcohol or cigarettes if you fall back then quit again till you are clean.
encourage self and reward with positive things.
...before someone tries to stone him..., show me where in the bible it specifically is speaking of, and uses the phrase 'sex before marriage'...
...for the sake of accuracy - The word 'fornication' is a loose English word used to translate about 4 words in greek, the major and most primary offending one is 'pornos', which means 'male prostitute' ie: in roman/greek times, young men would sell themselves to other men.
The other English word used for pornos is 'whoremonger' in Eph 5:5, 1 Cor 6:9 (strongs G4205) KJV; 'immoral' in the NASB, and 'sexually immoral' in some other translations, but these are very loose word for meaning translations put there by translators that do not convey the true pinpoint context and meaning of the word in the text; and in actual fact the reference is to 'male prostitutes.
The other reference is to the female version of a prostitute, and another is in an incestual etc... context and usually related to idolatory(strongs G4202); act the harlot and in an idolatory context (strongs G4203) and to be utterly unchaste (strongs G1068) ie: the orgies which would have involved homo-etc... relations in rome etc...Similar contexts are in Hebrew...with little variation..., mostly in the context of 'idolatory...
1 Cor 6:9 in addition to mentioning 'pornos' it mentions 'malakos' translated as 'effeminate' KJV. Strongs G3120 refers to that as a 'catamite'...ie: young boys who had relations with older men.
These are the ONLY references in Greek to 'fornication'..., the major one being 'pornos'..., not 'sex before marriage' as some think, ...in fact - it is not even mentioned in the bible - the ideal is presented as marriage - and other instances occurred in the bible also, but the facts are that the worst form of offence in this area relating to the word 'fornication' is to have 'gay relations' according to the bible..., and in fact 'idolatory'...
...so, its up to the individual to read the bible and be convicted -as it reads and as Truth guides and reveals accordingly ---
...but to make a blanket statement about 'sex before marriage' as though it is a direct quote from the bible in so many words is not accurate - because it is just not there... , the most that can be quoted that remotely comes close is from the Greek 'not to play the harlot' ... , but keep in mind in those days, the Romans and Greeks had mass orgies and slept around very loosely...
...I believe in the marriage model and ideal ... and that it should be pursued and aspired to; that is what binds society together after God --- however its between a person and God, when matters of the heart are involved, as no-one really IMO is capable of being judge of that...
...one must determine via their conscience and understanding of the Word in Truth of what it means to be chaste and chaste before God, and ask for direction on how to go about that, and also for Him to supply ones needs in all areas in the most correct and complete and appropriate manner...
...another point someone mentioned is that 2 become one 'flesh'...., yes....when there are intimate interactions there is a 'soul-bonding' that occurs, and it starts from the primal extending to the soul-heart level, depending on the depth of attraction --- The big difference is that when, a person gets married via the Spirit of God, His Spirit becomes part of that marriage --- and the connection becomes 'much more' than just a 'soul-body' connection --- which is why one must take care when marrying to ensure it is the right person --- as once they do it, its very hard to break free - for God hates divorce; and feels it when there is that discord and seperation ie:
Mal 2:16 "For I hate divorce," says the LORD, the God of Israel, "and him who covers his garment with wrong," says the LORD of hosts. "So take heed to your spirit, that you do not deal treacherously."
...yet the Patriarchs of the Old Testament were not only allowed and practised having more than one wife, which was not biblically adultery ..., but also to have concubines ie:
Definition of CONCUBINE: a woman with whom a man cohabits without being married: as
a : one having a recognized social status in a household below that of a wife
b : mistress 4a
Concubine - Definition and More from the Free Merriam-Webster Dictionary
Keep in mind that Hagar was NOT Abrahams 2nd wife, but was only acting as his concubine. Keturah was his other 2nd wife, with whom he was happy with...
...so --- the context of the Old Testament needs to be understood together with the New Testament --- in sync. with the times and what actually was occurring on social levels at the time...
ONE other point I feel important to make. I have been to some Christian mens groups run by churches, and it astounds me how many husbands are starving for intimacy and are being denied this by their wives, some of whom hold them at ransom in this regard, making them look like beggars - begging for crumbs of intimacy from them... which 'totally shocked me'....
...after having the unfortunate experience of hearing this from most of the men there, I believe it should be incorporated into the marriage vow; that 'both parties will not deny each other intimacy nor love by the time the sun sets down, nor try to use it as a weapon against the other person'...
...so there...
...for the sake of accuracy - The word 'fornication' is a loose English word used to translate about 4 words in greek, the major and most primary offending one is 'pornos', which means 'male prostitute' ie: in roman/greek times, young men would sell themselves to other men.
The other English word used for pornos is 'whoremonger' in Eph 5:5, 1 Cor 6:9 (strongs G4205) KJV; 'immoral' in the NASB, and 'sexually immoral' in some other translations, but these are very loose word for meaning translations put there by translators that do not convey the true pinpoint context and meaning of the word in the text; and in actual fact the reference is to 'male prostitutes.
The other reference is to the female version of a prostitute, and another is in an incestual etc... context and usually related to idolatory(strongs G4202); act the harlot and in an idolatory context (strongs G4203) and to be utterly unchaste (strongs G1068) ie: the orgies which would have involved homo-etc... relations in rome etc...Similar contexts are in Hebrew...with little variation..., mostly in the context of 'idolatory...
1 Cor 6:9 in addition to mentioning 'pornos' it mentions 'malakos' translated as 'effeminate' KJV. Strongs G3120 refers to that as a 'catamite'...ie: young boys who had relations with older men.
These are the ONLY references in Greek to 'fornication'..., the major one being 'pornos'..., not 'sex before marriage' as some think, ...in fact - it is not even mentioned in the bible - the ideal is presented as marriage - and other instances occurred in the bible also, but the facts are that the worst form of offence in this area relating to the word 'fornication' is to have 'gay relations' according to the bible..., and in fact 'idolatory'...
...so, its up to the individual to read the bible and be convicted -as it reads and as Truth guides and reveals accordingly ---
...but to make a blanket statement about 'sex before marriage' as though it is a direct quote from the bible in so many words is not accurate - because it is just not there... , the most that can be quoted that remotely comes close is from the Greek 'not to play the harlot' ... , but keep in mind in those days, the Romans and Greeks had mass orgies and slept around very loosely...
...I believe in the marriage model and ideal ... and that it should be pursued and aspired to; that is what binds society together after God --- however its between a person and God, when matters of the heart are involved, as no-one really IMO is capable of being judge of that...
...one must determine via their conscience and understanding of the Word in Truth of what it means to be chaste and chaste before God, and ask for direction on how to go about that, and also for Him to supply ones needs in all areas in the most correct and complete and appropriate manner...
...another point someone mentioned is that 2 become one 'flesh'...., yes....when there are intimate interactions there is a 'soul-bonding' that occurs, and it starts from the primal extending to the soul-heart level, depending on the depth of attraction --- The big difference is that when, a person gets married via the Spirit of God, His Spirit becomes part of that marriage --- and the connection becomes 'much more' than just a 'soul-body' connection --- which is why one must take care when marrying to ensure it is the right person --- as once they do it, its very hard to break free - for God hates divorce; and feels it when there is that discord and seperation ie:
Mal 2:16 "For I hate divorce," says the LORD, the God of Israel, "and him who covers his garment with wrong," says the LORD of hosts. "So take heed to your spirit, that you do not deal treacherously."
...yet the Patriarchs of the Old Testament were not only allowed and practised having more than one wife, which was not biblically adultery ..., but also to have concubines ie:
Definition of CONCUBINE: a woman with whom a man cohabits without being married: as
a : one having a recognized social status in a household below that of a wife
b : mistress 4a
Concubine - Definition and More from the Free Merriam-Webster Dictionary
Keep in mind that Hagar was NOT Abrahams 2nd wife, but was only acting as his concubine. Keturah was his other 2nd wife, with whom he was happy with...
...so --- the context of the Old Testament needs to be understood together with the New Testament --- in sync. with the times and what actually was occurring on social levels at the time...
ONE other point I feel important to make. I have been to some Christian mens groups run by churches, and it astounds me how many husbands are starving for intimacy and are being denied this by their wives, some of whom hold them at ransom in this regard, making them look like beggars - begging for crumbs of intimacy from them... which 'totally shocked me'....
...after having the unfortunate experience of hearing this from most of the men there, I believe it should be incorporated into the marriage vow; that 'both parties will not deny each other intimacy nor love by the time the sun sets down, nor try to use it as a weapon against the other person'...
...so there...
Last edited:
... I don't think most people actually understand 'what' the sex-drive is --- its the procreative primal life-force: its there for a reason, and its not just about making babies --- there is a profound mystery to it, it binds and it expresses itself, connects and integrates in dynamic ways ... that can have a transcendant aspect when spiritually applied and understood; that are mind-blowing and beyond the nominal ordinary intellect...
... which is one reason why certain practises to develop control of ones mind, emotions and primal nature and direction, I believe are vital for the aspiring Christian to develop and cultivate...
...keep in mind that control is 'not repression', but the ability to make a choice of direction - and timing ...
... which is one reason why certain practises to develop control of ones mind, emotions and primal nature and direction, I believe are vital for the aspiring Christian to develop and cultivate...
...keep in mind that control is 'not repression', but the ability to make a choice of direction - and timing ...
Last edited:
...its good to practise methods of self-control and improvement and be able to make the most correct choices - without feeling compromised in doing so...,
...focusing on a candle flame (white or gold candle, with 'Jesus' or 'Yahshua' inscribed on it) with a bible as a backdrop, after praying for the Light of God to be in the exercise-meditation - and keeping ones thoughts, emotions and energies focused in one point of stillness in that candle-flame, and seeing oneself sitting inside the flame, and the flame around them - connected to the Light of God - is very helpful and is a right-brain way of praying and creating mental imagery that creates on some level a bridge and God can use to increase His Presence and Light within you...
...scientists have discovered that looking at candle flames increases the levels of melatonin in the brain, produced by the pineal gland...
...when bible were first being scribed and translated, it was done under candlelight many times, and you can bet the translators would take breaks and stare and muse at the candle flame...
...just a tool one can use..., remember - control is choice - not repression, and being able to choose a better direction and timing..., or not to...
...focusing on a candle flame (white or gold candle, with 'Jesus' or 'Yahshua' inscribed on it) with a bible as a backdrop, after praying for the Light of God to be in the exercise-meditation - and keeping ones thoughts, emotions and energies focused in one point of stillness in that candle-flame, and seeing oneself sitting inside the flame, and the flame around them - connected to the Light of God - is very helpful and is a right-brain way of praying and creating mental imagery that creates on some level a bridge and God can use to increase His Presence and Light within you...
...scientists have discovered that looking at candle flames increases the levels of melatonin in the brain, produced by the pineal gland...
...when bible were first being scribed and translated, it was done under candlelight many times, and you can bet the translators would take breaks and stare and muse at the candle flame...
...just a tool one can use..., remember - control is choice - not repression, and being able to choose a better direction and timing..., or not to...
Last edited:
W
It is hard all things worth doing require a huge amount of effort. One way to avoid this is to avoid the bad side of technology, don't go to the house parties, decide to study and not date. Are these difficult choices.......yes, The Lord does equip you and if you feel like it is hard to resist temptation, they just avoid the whole situation. Having coffee with a friend and a take-awy is a "safer" option.
The word and the word is all about choice. The Lord gives us FREE will and the "technology" his Word to be able to resist.
The word and the word is all about choice. The Lord gives us FREE will and the "technology" his Word to be able to resist.
S
The argument presented in the first line is very logical n rational.
Time has changed and so has our social customs and norms. BUT compromising with God's standards must never be an option. There must be another way out of this even if it means sacrificing our feelings for the sake of godliness and eternity....
Your concluding lines are misplaced and misleading anyway :-(
Time has changed and so has our social customs and norms. BUT compromising with God's standards must never be an option. There must be another way out of this even if it means sacrificing our feelings for the sake of godliness and eternity....
Your concluding lines are misplaced and misleading anyway :-(
J
oh please.... I wasn't a virgin when I got married and I did some things that I regret now.... If I would have followed GOD's rules I wouldn't have that heartache.
so you do it, and you realize it is a sin, and you ask forgiveness for it, and really want to turn away from that sin........... what do you do to keep yourself from doing it again, cause once you start, it's hard to stop.
so you do it, and you realize it is a sin, and you ask forgiveness for it, and really want to turn away from that sin........... what do you do to keep yourself from doing it again, cause once you start, it's hard to stop.
From what you have here in your first post, it seemed as if you had the attitude of "I know this is wrong, but God will forgive me, so I'm gonna do it anyway." Are you saying that this is the popular attitude or your attitude? If you are saying that that is not your attitude, then I am sorry if my earlier response seemed judgmental, but perhaps you can be a little more clear?
You are right. Romans 8:1 tells us that there is no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus. I include self-condemnation in this. So yes, there is no reason to beat yourself up over this. Ask for forgiveness and repent.
I was specifically addressing the issue of "I know this is wrong, but I'm gonna do it anyway, because God will forgive me." This is not repenting, and shows a callous, sin-loving heart.
You are right. Romans 8:1 tells us that there is no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus. I include self-condemnation in this. So yes, there is no reason to beat yourself up over this. Ask for forgiveness and repent.
I was specifically addressing the issue of "I know this is wrong, but I'm gonna do it anyway, because God will forgive me." This is not repenting, and shows a callous, sin-loving heart.
Jeremiah 17:9, "The heart is deceitful above all things and beyond cure. Who can understand it?"
God DOES know our heart, He DOES understand our humanness, and that's exactly why we need Him. "We're just human" is not an excuse. Human nature, due to sin, is to steal, kill, lie, be mean, slander...the list goes on. Just because I really feel like doing something and feel that I cannot resist does not make it okay. Do we mess up? Yes. So much. Does God forgive us? Of course. But our attitude shouldn't be "God will forgive me anyway if I just can't resist", it should be "God, please help me because I am weak" and then study His Word, be in communication with Him, so that when that temptation comes, you CAN resist with His help. Or, don't put yourself in situations where you know you struggle with temptation.
I don't see people here claiming to be perfect. I see them refuting your belief that God doesn't care when you sin.
God DOES know our heart, He DOES understand our humanness, and that's exactly why we need Him. "We're just human" is not an excuse. Human nature, due to sin, is to steal, kill, lie, be mean, slander...the list goes on. Just because I really feel like doing something and feel that I cannot resist does not make it okay. Do we mess up? Yes. So much. Does God forgive us? Of course. But our attitude shouldn't be "God will forgive me anyway if I just can't resist", it should be "God, please help me because I am weak" and then study His Word, be in communication with Him, so that when that temptation comes, you CAN resist with His help. Or, don't put yourself in situations where you know you struggle with temptation.
I don't see people here claiming to be perfect. I see them refuting your belief that God doesn't care when you sin.
If a person is serious about being in a state of 'no sex-before-marriage and being successful in it, consider the science of celibacy; which the yogis of India excel in. Apart from the obvious - abstaining from passion creating foods ie: animal flesh (I am not a vegetarian myself) tamasic can bring spiritually inert-like qualtities (gunas) certain hot spices and foods corresponding to the rajasic (firey) gunas (qualities) should be avoided being passion creating. The sattvic (more peace, nourshiment, meditative and spirit-centred-inducing) foods need to be considered. The west does not know 'how' to be celibate...at least until the time of marriage..., and many monks in monastaries can go literally insane and twisted and do bizarre things...., being overcome with passion that don't know 'how to be celibate'...
....a lot also has to do with 'spiritualizing' the primal energy into a higher realm..., very powerful spiritually if/when done properly..., but not many can do it - and are called to be this way...
...however, there is also the path of marriage and oneness - in which a variation of knowledge to do with sublimation is equally as powerful..., and spiritual - where properly practised and applied....
....a lot also has to do with 'spiritualizing' the primal energy into a higher realm..., very powerful spiritually if/when done properly..., but not many can do it - and are called to be this way...
...however, there is also the path of marriage and oneness - in which a variation of knowledge to do with sublimation is equally as powerful..., and spiritual - where properly practised and applied....
Last edited:
