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J
beside the obvious to raise your children to know the lord and to make sure they know you love them all the time no matter what i raised mine on a handful of rules. some were for me and some for them. rule one. if it is important to them-it's important,period, treat it as such. this teaches them respect. rule two. life is sacred. behaviors that are unnecessarily harmful to living things will have consequences. no compromise. this is in the boundary category. rule three is similar. destructive behavior toward inanimate things will have consequences. this is a combination of respect and boundaries. rule four. i talk to my children with the same level of respect that i give to adults and i actively listen when they speak. rule five. there will be no double jeopardy in disciplinary actions but you will know if your behavior is unpleasing to me. i will work with the school and other parents to make sure they understand this rule so that singular discipline works. those are my basics and with a few challenging exceptions they have worked well for me and my children. i do not use corporeal punishment as a form of discipline
G
Show me in the new covenant where it says spoil the rod spoil the child? Spanking isn't at all necessary, you don't need to jump to physical punishment to train up a child, just like you don't need to use physical violence to train animals. Gods shown us Grace we need to show that to our kids, when we do something wrong God doesn't resort to physical attacks. There are plenty of ways to show our kids what's right and wrong in an healthy way. They need to learn how to make good choices, and we need to have the patience in showing them how to deal with things correctly. To me spanking is an easy and fast method for the parents to use without doing anything emotionally healthy for the kid. I do a lot of dumb things as an adult, would I want to be spanked every time? No thank you.
I've watched some super nanny and seen some really great ways in how to deal with children. I wouldn't go to her for Christian advice but in training kids she's a pro.
I've watched some super nanny and seen some really great ways in how to deal with children. I wouldn't go to her for Christian advice but in training kids she's a pro.
N
I don't like the word punishment, i think that's something you do out of anger. I like the word discipline better, it's more controlled. After all God doesn't say he punishes those he loves he says Discipline.
I have two kids. 1 girl 1 boy. The boy is 6 the girl is 7. Every child is different, what works for one may not work for another. I think most people who have kids or have worked with them will tell you that.
I'm a fan of positive reinforcement when it's not, i'll buy you this or i'll give you that if you do what i ask! I don't do that. Mine is more, If you have a good 2 or 3 days in school you can spend the night with grandma. If you clean up your room for the next 3 days without me having to ask then we will go to the beach, it's always some where that doesn't come with a price tag attached to it.
I love using words to make sure they know how well their doing also. It really helps build their self esteem, and i'm really all about that.
As for spanking and time out. My kids are very strong willed, but they know the rules. I have made them perfectly clear time and time again. If they break one of the smaller ones, it's time out for 6 minutes, for my 6 year old and 7 minutes for my 7 year old. If they directly defy me, i tell one of them to do something and he or she looks at me and says no, or just ignores what i said...it's on.
With that being said, i rarely have to spank them. I use the counting thing, you have on the count of 3 to do what i said... i only ever have to get to 1 and there runnin full speed to do what i asked. They know who runs things, and it certainly isn't them.
I love them so so much, and i always make sure they know it. I hate having to discipline them, but like maxwell said boundaries and rules make them feel safe and secure. Not so many rules there choking on them though.
After time out i always make sure to talk it out with them, why did i put you in time out? How can you avoid being sat in time out (the proper response is by listening
)
That's just the way i do things.
I have two kids. 1 girl 1 boy. The boy is 6 the girl is 7. Every child is different, what works for one may not work for another. I think most people who have kids or have worked with them will tell you that.
I'm a fan of positive reinforcement when it's not, i'll buy you this or i'll give you that if you do what i ask! I don't do that. Mine is more, If you have a good 2 or 3 days in school you can spend the night with grandma. If you clean up your room for the next 3 days without me having to ask then we will go to the beach, it's always some where that doesn't come with a price tag attached to it.
I love using words to make sure they know how well their doing also. It really helps build their self esteem, and i'm really all about that.
As for spanking and time out. My kids are very strong willed, but they know the rules. I have made them perfectly clear time and time again. If they break one of the smaller ones, it's time out for 6 minutes, for my 6 year old and 7 minutes for my 7 year old. If they directly defy me, i tell one of them to do something and he or she looks at me and says no, or just ignores what i said...it's on.
With that being said, i rarely have to spank them. I use the counting thing, you have on the count of 3 to do what i said... i only ever have to get to 1 and there runnin full speed to do what i asked. They know who runs things, and it certainly isn't them.
I love them so so much, and i always make sure they know it. I hate having to discipline them, but like maxwell said boundaries and rules make them feel safe and secure. Not so many rules there choking on them though.
After time out i always make sure to talk it out with them, why did i put you in time out? How can you avoid being sat in time out (the proper response is by listening
) That's just the way i do things.
F
Spanking has always been the remedy for wilful or obstinate disobedience in our house. The rules are there, they are clear and fair warning is given of the consequences for violating them. No huge deal really. Even now at 18, if I act out of control or cross the line of what is acceptable, a couple of swats of mums paddle onmy jeans will be forthcoming.
If I came to your house and broke a rule, would I have to have a 28 minute time-out? That's almost half an hour! I think I'll just encourage your children to misbehave, as we can get more bad stuff done that way. If I time it right, we should be able to have one child breaking a rule an average of every 3 minutes 15 seconds.
D
I don't have to spank. I just use that Samuel Jackson "Snakes on a Plane" look and quote, "Enough is enough; I've had it!" The kids fall right in line. Least wise, they did the first time. Now they just laugh. For the record, I don't use any of the profane laced lines that follow.
My siblings and I were severely beaten as children by my dad. I don't believe in that kind of treatment, but I'm not against spanking, to a point and at certain ages. I wouldn't make any recommendations to anyone because I believe that's a decision for each individual to make.
I believe some of the previous posters have made some very good points with regard to communicating expectations, rules and corrective measures. I would add that it would be a good idea to have a keyed lock on your bedroom door, just in case your kids don't react rationally to being corrected.
I'm surprised by how little parents feel obliged to discipline their children. At least that's what I've noticed in the circle of families I've met during functions in our community. Last Friday, my family attended an end of school year party thrown by some people we know. I knew half the families in attendance. I had volunteered to bring my badminton net and cornhole game set for activities. One tween, from a family I didn't know, was running across my cornhole boards. Nobody stepped in to stop this destruction of my property, so I had to go Samuel Jackson.
Another child, who I suspect was from the same family, kept hitting the badminton net with the racket, intentionally. The father was standing right there and didn't say a thing. I told the father, respectfully, that he should stop the child from hitting the net or take the racket. He took the racket and the child had a fit. I suspect the whole family was upset with me until they left the event.
The fact of the matter is, parents who fail to discipline their children are passively enabling their children to become disruptive members of society. I see the results everytime I volunteer at school and everytime I attend a family event, from Cub Scouts to school events to social gatherings.
As one poster mentioned, each child requires a different approach. And I'm not making a case for or against spanking. I just wish people who don't want to raise kids with some semblance of civility wouldn't have children. I know. That's just wishful thinking.
Anyway, my wife said our family probably won't get invited to future events because of me. And that's just fine with me because "Enough is enough; I've had it!"
My siblings and I were severely beaten as children by my dad. I don't believe in that kind of treatment, but I'm not against spanking, to a point and at certain ages. I wouldn't make any recommendations to anyone because I believe that's a decision for each individual to make.
I believe some of the previous posters have made some very good points with regard to communicating expectations, rules and corrective measures. I would add that it would be a good idea to have a keyed lock on your bedroom door, just in case your kids don't react rationally to being corrected.
I'm surprised by how little parents feel obliged to discipline their children. At least that's what I've noticed in the circle of families I've met during functions in our community. Last Friday, my family attended an end of school year party thrown by some people we know. I knew half the families in attendance. I had volunteered to bring my badminton net and cornhole game set for activities. One tween, from a family I didn't know, was running across my cornhole boards. Nobody stepped in to stop this destruction of my property, so I had to go Samuel Jackson.
Another child, who I suspect was from the same family, kept hitting the badminton net with the racket, intentionally. The father was standing right there and didn't say a thing. I told the father, respectfully, that he should stop the child from hitting the net or take the racket. He took the racket and the child had a fit. I suspect the whole family was upset with me until they left the event.
The fact of the matter is, parents who fail to discipline their children are passively enabling their children to become disruptive members of society. I see the results everytime I volunteer at school and everytime I attend a family event, from Cub Scouts to school events to social gatherings.
As one poster mentioned, each child requires a different approach. And I'm not making a case for or against spanking. I just wish people who don't want to raise kids with some semblance of civility wouldn't have children. I know. That's just wishful thinking.
Anyway, my wife said our family probably won't get invited to future events because of me. And that's just fine with me because "Enough is enough; I've had it!"
P
When u grow up on a Navy base for ur first 5-6 years, the word discipline doesn't fit. I endured corpoaral punishment. My bedroom became the brig and there were many a night my dinner was bread and water, until my Mom would bring food late in the night. Then there was the studded belt that tore into u with every swing. WOW!!!!!!!!
M
I'm just starting to figure out how/when to discipline my two year old effectively. Up to this point, spanking has made no sense to me; he's been a baby til now. Why on earth would you spank a BABY, right? So we haven't. We're going to, but we just haven't yet. However, we've started doing time-outs when I have to tell him 'no' more than twice. It goes a lot like this now:
Kiddo: *squashes cat by sitting on it*
Me: No no, we do NOT sit on the cat. Get up, please.
Kiddo *laughing and squashing cat*
Me: No! Get off the cat, or you will get a time-out!
Kiddo: *gets excited* Time-out, mama! Come on, time for time-out time! *runs to time-out spot*
...so that's not really working. He's TWO. He's learning how to push the boundaries. He knows pretty well what he can/can't do.
It's about time for spankings. Not when he squashes the cat, though...the cat deserves it.
Kiddo: *squashes cat by sitting on it*
Me: No no, we do NOT sit on the cat. Get up, please.
Kiddo *laughing and squashing cat*
Me: No! Get off the cat, or you will get a time-out!
Kiddo: *gets excited* Time-out, mama! Come on, time for time-out time! *runs to time-out spot*
...so that's not really working. He's TWO. He's learning how to push the boundaries. He knows pretty well what he can/can't do.
It's about time for spankings. Not when he squashes the cat, though...the cat deserves it.
M
Even the Lord disciplines/chastises/punishes whatever word you wanna use... to correct us as his children.
It is always for our better good.
Love encompasses all of Gods character traits since he is the definition of Love
We dont define it. Just as your kids cannot say
..." I will only listen if you tell me what I like to hear"
yeah how far does that get a kid and what kind of parent would one be to allow their child to turn it around and so to speak "parent the parent"
I see reward (blessing for behaving and listening)...for seeking and doing his will
And discipline for disobedience(testing him or rebelling to seek our own will)
This may includes tough love at times which Christ also displayed.
Hebrews 12:
5And have you completely forgotten this word of encouragement that addresses you as a father addresses his son? It says,“My son, do not make light of the Lord’s discipline, and do not lose heart when he rebukes you,
6because the Lord disciplines the one he loves, and he chastens everyone he accepts as his son.”[SUP]a[/SUP]
11No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful. Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it.
How may we be expected to deal with our own children any different than the way the Lord our own Father deals with us?
And since if we deal with our own children correctly, likewise how can we think ourselves ever so special to think any of us are exempt from the Lord continuously Fathering us in all the ways way he see's fit.
When God tells us not to spoil our own kids, I also have seen he has never spoiled any human neither.
Since spoiling creates a rebellious behavior with lack of respect for the authority that cares for and watches over them.
It is always for our better good.
Love encompasses all of Gods character traits since he is the definition of Love
We dont define it. Just as your kids cannot say
..." I will only listen if you tell me what I like to hear"
yeah how far does that get a kid and what kind of parent would one be to allow their child to turn it around and so to speak "parent the parent"
I see reward (blessing for behaving and listening)...for seeking and doing his will
And discipline for disobedience(testing him or rebelling to seek our own will)
This may includes tough love at times which Christ also displayed.
Hebrews 12:
5And have you completely forgotten this word of encouragement that addresses you as a father addresses his son? It says,“My son, do not make light of the Lord’s discipline, and do not lose heart when he rebukes you,
6because the Lord disciplines the one he loves, and he chastens everyone he accepts as his son.”[SUP]a[/SUP]
11No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful. Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it.
How may we be expected to deal with our own children any different than the way the Lord our own Father deals with us?
And since if we deal with our own children correctly, likewise how can we think ourselves ever so special to think any of us are exempt from the Lord continuously Fathering us in all the ways way he see's fit.
When God tells us not to spoil our own kids, I also have seen he has never spoiled any human neither.
Since spoiling creates a rebellious behavior with lack of respect for the authority that cares for and watches over them.
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G
I don't have to spank. I just use that Samuel Jackson "Snakes on a Plane" look and quote, "Enough is enough; I've had it!" The kids fall right in line. Least wise, they did the first time. Now they just laugh. For the record, I don't use any of the profane laced lines that follow.
My siblings and I were severely beaten as children by my dad. I don't believe in that kind of treatment, but I'm not against spanking, to a point and at certain ages. I wouldn't make any recommendations to anyone because I believe that's a decision for each individual to make.
I believe some of the previous posters have made some very good points with regard to communicating expectations, rules and corrective measures. I would add that it would be a good idea to have a keyed lock on your bedroom door, just in case your kids don't react rationally to being corrected.
I'm surprised by how little parents feel obliged to discipline their children. At least that's what I've noticed in the circle of families I've met during functions in our community. Last Friday, my family attended an end of school year party thrown by some people we know. I knew half the families in attendance. I had volunteered to bring my badminton net and cornhole game set for activities. One tween, from a family I didn't know, was running across my cornhole boards. Nobody stepped in to stop this destruction of my property, so I had to go Samuel Jackson.
Another child, who I suspect was from the same family, kept hitting the badminton net with the racket, intentionally. The father was standing right there and didn't say a thing. I told the father, respectfully, that he should stop the child from hitting the net or take the racket. He took the racket and the child had a fit. I suspect the whole family was upset with me until they left the event.
The fact of the matter is, parents who fail to discipline their children are passively enabling their children to become disruptive members of society. I see the results everytime I volunteer at school and everytime I attend a family event, from Cub Scouts to school events to social gatherings.
As one poster mentioned, each child requires a different approach. And I'm not making a case for or against spanking. I just wish people who don't want to raise kids with some semblance of civility wouldn't have children. I know. That's just wishful thinking.
Anyway, my wife said our family probably won't get invited to future events because of me. And that's just fine with me because "Enough is enough; I've had it!"
My siblings and I were severely beaten as children by my dad. I don't believe in that kind of treatment, but I'm not against spanking, to a point and at certain ages. I wouldn't make any recommendations to anyone because I believe that's a decision for each individual to make.
I believe some of the previous posters have made some very good points with regard to communicating expectations, rules and corrective measures. I would add that it would be a good idea to have a keyed lock on your bedroom door, just in case your kids don't react rationally to being corrected.
I'm surprised by how little parents feel obliged to discipline their children. At least that's what I've noticed in the circle of families I've met during functions in our community. Last Friday, my family attended an end of school year party thrown by some people we know. I knew half the families in attendance. I had volunteered to bring my badminton net and cornhole game set for activities. One tween, from a family I didn't know, was running across my cornhole boards. Nobody stepped in to stop this destruction of my property, so I had to go Samuel Jackson.
Another child, who I suspect was from the same family, kept hitting the badminton net with the racket, intentionally. The father was standing right there and didn't say a thing. I told the father, respectfully, that he should stop the child from hitting the net or take the racket. He took the racket and the child had a fit. I suspect the whole family was upset with me until they left the event.
The fact of the matter is, parents who fail to discipline their children are passively enabling their children to become disruptive members of society. I see the results everytime I volunteer at school and everytime I attend a family event, from Cub Scouts to school events to social gatherings.
As one poster mentioned, each child requires a different approach. And I'm not making a case for or against spanking. I just wish people who don't want to raise kids with some semblance of civility wouldn't have children. I know. That's just wishful thinking.
Anyway, my wife said our family probably won't get invited to future events because of me. And that's just fine with me because "Enough is enough; I've had it!"