Pattyannee, when I first read what you wrote something did disturb me,and now that you have become honest about your relationship with Jesus,I can tell you why this happened. And thanks for being so honest to sis! eph 4:27 says and do not give the devil an opportunity. You now know why.
You are, as we all are dirty and unclean until Jesus comes into our lives,I was dirty for some 22 years before the Lord came into my life,and so many bad things happened to me because I did the same thing as you did,looking for others to comfort what only the Lord himself can.
I used to blame the Lord for all my troubles, and had more excuses then carter had pills!Now the good part! Know this!!Jesus does, and always has loved you so very much sis!! It was not his will for that to happen to you! The thief is not Jesus, but rather the enemy!( john 10:10)and he cannot tell the truth either!( john 8:44!)The enemy wants you to blame yourself, or God for all problems,that is his nature sis. The healing of ones mind can never take place by self,we want it to,we do everything we can for this to happen but yet it will not happen.
Until we give Jesus our life.It is by his great love, and might that forgiveness takes place in our heart in the first place sis.I am very sorry this happened to you,I do not believe you deserved this!I am just explaining as best I can why this can happen to us.
If we walk into a dark alley without any light in it,what indeed can we ourselves see? The same as you did sis, very little.For the Lord is our light sis,( 1 john 1:7- 1 john 2:2!!) Jesus is waiting with open arms for you sis! Please go and find great comfort as i have in him.
He will teach you how to take away the pain you have endured,and his comfort lasts forever sis!( 2 cor 1:3-7) I bring up the Word so much sis because I have learned to take comfort in it,for by doing so Jesus is his very Word!( john 1:1) I do not tell you what to do sis!
I only ask you to consider this in love, from one who can love now because of what Jesus himself has done for me! Find a good church where there is love in,and join it,and become a Kings kid sis! For to me sis it is only by our example( Jesus himself) which can sustain us in him,and for him!
Jesus does not look to push you away,but rather asks you this.Have you not done everything in your own power possible to become loved and understood? And yet what has been the result? I am here always for you my beloved,I am here to love you without touching you,to comfort you, when your feeling and emotion are in such pain,to give you peace around a great storm that looks to swallow you.I am he you have heard,and I am he who is forever!( isaiah 43:10)Will you be my witness?
So that from your life others can take comfort?I am knocking upon your heart beloved,will you not open the door and have dinner with me?( rev 3:20) I am very glad I finally opened the door sis! After being through two tours of Vietnam,I sure was glad to finally see a friendly face! You will be to! I am praying now for you sis,and our love for you cannot wax cold like so many others we both have seen in our past.
Because our love is based upon God's own love for each of us sis!! ( john 13:34)God bless you and comfort you always! ( 1 john 4:7-19!!!!) My his own word bear witness to himself in your own life sis amen! If you have ever wondered, such as i have, when is a good time to give Jesus your life? Rom 13:11 really hits home as it did for me sis!! " Do this, knowing the time, that it is already the hour for you to awaken from your sleep;for now salvation is nearer to us then we first believed! Blessing sis! your brother in Christ mark