...If you are contemplating suicide you probably think I don't understand. Okay let's look at that. While I was a Police Officer the law enforcement profession had the highest suicide rate of any profession. It was the second highest profession as far as alcoholism. Police Officers are under stress every day. You may not like them, you may not think that they have a hard job, but think about this. If they think someone has a gun and is about to try to hurt them, they have mere seconds to make a decision on what to do. Do they take this person's life or risk being killed themselves? If they decide to take the life and then find out that the person did not have a weapon, they will be judged by people who have never been in that situation and who have all the facts and plenty of time to make their decision. If they don't take the person's life and that person does have a weapon and the will to use it, they may very well be the next name listed on my Police Memorial page.
The other thing that adversely affects Police Officers is the amount of death and pain they see on a daily basis. Day in and day out it seemed that I dealt with death. In order to keep my sanity I had to have a defense mechanism. Like most Police Officers I put up a wall and became cold and detached from the death and pain. That helped me not have too many nightmares although I did have some, but it changed me on the inside. The pain was there, I just refused to admit it.
I could look at death and then go eat my supper. I could stand around a horrible death scene waiting on the coroner and talk to other officers about the weather or what we were going to do in the morning, or tell jokes. Slowly something started to happen to me, I began to feel so cold and so old that life was no longer a pleasure. I would look at the dead bodies and feel like at least they were out of the pain of this world, they were at peace.
That was a LIE! They were not at peace, they were just in a different hell, one that I almost got sucked into. I believe that is what happens to most Police Officers who commit suicide, they begin to think that the pain will go away if they kill themselves. I was in a lot of pain, my marriage was all but over, I had no friends other than other Police Officers, I did not feel well physically or mentally, death sounded good. It sounded like a way to escape.
So let's now look at suicide itself. It is the killing of yourself. If you are going to kill yourself then you better first think about what happens after you are dead. Maybe you want to hurt someone you think doesn't care about you. Well if they don't care now, why are they going to care if you kill yourself? Maybe you want to have everyone feel sorry for you. Okay that might work, but you won't be around to know about it, and sooner or later they will get over your death anyway. Maybe you have screwed up so badly that you think this is the only way out. -WRONG! For one there is nothing that can't be faced and taken care of if you are willing to face it. Second if you kill yourself, then what?
What happens after you die? Do you believe that you just become part of the universe? If so then you truly have no hope. Or is there an after life? If so what does that mean?
The Bible says: (Hebrews 9:27) Just as man is destined to die once, and after that to face judgment... Once you are dead the only thing left is to wait to answer to God for the life you led while alive. If you kill yourself because you got pregnant and could not face it, or because you had an abortion, or because people found out you are a homosexual, or because you lost your family due to an sexual immorality, or you were caught with drugs, or you are an alcoholic who can't stop, or a drug abuser, no matter what the problem, you will face judgment for it.
Think of it this way. Once you die those sins and problems are permanently attached to you, you can't get rid of them, all you can do is wait until God judges you for them. However, while you are still alive you can get rid of them. You can take them off yourself and place them at the feet of Jesus Christ. He has already died for them. He already paid the penalty for you. He has already faced judgment for your sins. All you have to do is ask Him to forgive you and take away your sins.
Laying your sins and burdens at Jesus' feet won't take away all the consequences of your sins. If you are pregnant you will still be pregnant and have to deal with that problem. Whatever your problem is you will still have to deal with it. The good news is you won't have to deal with it on your own any longer. God will help you, He will give you strength. He will never leave you alone again. You will also be able to find other Christians who will help you carry your burden.
Many people look at Christians and feel that there is no way 'those' people can understand what I am going through. Again this is a lie. Christian churches are full of people who have laid sins at the feet of Jesus. Most churches are full of "forgiven" adulterers, alcoholics, drug addicts, abusers, homosexuals, thieves, liars, people who have had abortions, people who thought about or even attempted suicide, people who thought their lives were worthless, people who at one time thought they were too bad of a sinner for God to love and forgive.
(John 3:16) "For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life. Eternal life, that is what it is all about. If you believe that God sent his Son to die for your sins and then you ask Him to come into your heart and take control, He will and He will give you eternal life. You will be surprised how much your life changes. Your problems won't seem so large anymore or so hard to face.
The choice is yours. Eternal life through Jesus Christ and face the problems of this life with His help, or eternal separation from God in Hell because you won't face the problems of this life and would rather hurry your journey to judgment. No I don't candy coat it, because I care and I don't want to see anyone make this horrible, unchangeable, final choice to rush into eternal punishment.
I am often asked what happens if a Christian commits suicide? I personally don't believe in 'Once Saved Always Saved,' I believe that no one can snatch you away from God nor can you lose your salvation, but I also believe that you don't lose your free will upon accepting Christ as your Savior. So if you choose to turn away from God after your salvation I believe that is possible. So back to the question of what happens if a Christian kills them self; take a look at this verse and decide for yourself. Remember that Paul is speaking to Christians! (1 Corinthians 6:19-20) [19] Do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; [20] you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your body.
