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R
I am by no means a skinny girl. I'm not largely overweight either. It's called CURVES and REAL WOMEN have them. I have boobs, a butt, and some hips. Love it or leave it. I've never had a problem dating or finding someone to accept my body, because I don't view it as a problem. My last ex had a toned body because he was a baseball player. They guy I dated before that was a little on the chubby side, but he was cute as can be. It just doesn't matter. I've realized that if I don't let body image be a problem for me, it won't be a problem for others.
I wouldn't date a fat chick, nor would any of my Christian roommates (except for Andrew). It shows a lack of control. Our culture tells us "Oh we're all equal" blah blah blah, we're not. People have different metabolisms, and as a result must be able to control themselves differently. I'm not saying anything about the inner-beauty of fat people, because my best friend is like 300 pounds and he is the most awesome guy you'll meet, but my mom is also fat and she is mean! What I'm saying is, it's just not attractive, and you should be attracted to the one you're going to have a romantic relationship with. For most people, that means someone who is in shape.
The sweetest love story in the Bible is the one of Jacob and Rachel. Jacob worked for seven years and then ANOTHER seven years to marry Rachel, while he would've only had to work seven for her older sister Leah. The story only gives one reason why Jacob wanted Rachael instead of Leah:
Genesis 29:17 "Leah had weak eyes, but Rachel was lovely in form, and beautiful."
She didn't have "inner beauty", she never says anything wise, and she was even barren for many of her early years as the old testament tells it. But she was beautiful.
The sweetest love story in the Bible is the one of Jacob and Rachel. Jacob worked for seven years and then ANOTHER seven years to marry Rachel, while he would've only had to work seven for her older sister Leah. The story only gives one reason why Jacob wanted Rachael instead of Leah:
Genesis 29:17 "Leah had weak eyes, but Rachel was lovely in form, and beautiful."
She didn't have "inner beauty", she never says anything wise, and she was even barren for many of her early years as the old testament tells it. But she was beautiful.
L
Are you kidding me? One of my best friends is 5'3", 89lbs and people seem to look down on her more than they do on any fat person. In fact she has been asked point blank many times, "are you anorexic?" No, she is not anorexic. She just has a fast metabolism. And it's not just her. Any time there is a skinny person I invariably hear comments about "someone needs to take that kid to McDonalds" or "geeze that girl is obviously puking after every meal." It's so lame. You don't know why that person is skinny, so lose the snide attitude.
What bugs me is that overweight people get angry at me when I talk about my weight. It is as if just because I'm not overweight I'm not allowed to worry about gaining weight, or staying trim and fit. Man, that drives me insane. Example, I apparantly have a small waist, but it used to be smaller. I can tell I've gained weight and I worry about that, but if I tell someone else the immediate response is, "you're skinny, stop whining." What? Just because I'm average weight I'm allowed to gain lbs and eventually become overweight? is that it?
on the topic of dating overweight people, I'll admit I would have some misgivings about dating a fat man. Yes it is partially because I'm "shallow" (if that is what you want to call it. I simply call it personal preferences), but it is also because I want to have someone I can go running with every day, and let's be honest: a fat man would not be able to jog with me. I want a man who is into fitness so we can work out together. I don't want someone who I'd have to go slow with because he is more out of shape than me.
On the flip side, when we get advanced in years if my husband becomes fat I'll be fine with that as long as it isn't that flabby sort of fat that jiggles when he walks. I will seriously make my husband wear a girdle if he's a flabby sort of fat man. That, or we'll go on a strict diet and exercise regime.
What bugs me is that overweight people get angry at me when I talk about my weight. It is as if just because I'm not overweight I'm not allowed to worry about gaining weight, or staying trim and fit. Man, that drives me insane. Example, I apparantly have a small waist, but it used to be smaller. I can tell I've gained weight and I worry about that, but if I tell someone else the immediate response is, "you're skinny, stop whining." What? Just because I'm average weight I'm allowed to gain lbs and eventually become overweight? is that it?
on the topic of dating overweight people, I'll admit I would have some misgivings about dating a fat man. Yes it is partially because I'm "shallow" (if that is what you want to call it. I simply call it personal preferences), but it is also because I want to have someone I can go running with every day, and let's be honest: a fat man would not be able to jog with me. I want a man who is into fitness so we can work out together. I don't want someone who I'd have to go slow with because he is more out of shape than me.
On the flip side, when we get advanced in years if my husband becomes fat I'll be fine with that as long as it isn't that flabby sort of fat that jiggles when he walks. I will seriously make my husband wear a girdle if he's a flabby sort of fat man. That, or we'll go on a strict diet and exercise regime.
Well, everyone knows what attracts them to another person. BUT, I think sometimes due to human nature we can tend to 'write something off' before we have explored!!!
You may say you are not attracted to a person that is fat, a person that is thin, a person that is black, white, yellow, brown or disabled in some way......but when GOD is involved in the equation you just never know what might happen........
Yes we all have our 'preference' or 'ideal' and yes we have the power of choice......but what you may be asking God for in a mate, may just happen to be that overweight beauty in the corner.......she may contain everything that will compliment you. She may be the key to your destiny, play a role in your life being much enriched in some way, apart from the love. You may be surprised at how your heart is drawn towards them, even though you may never have 'gone for' that type of woman before, even though she was not your 'ideal'........
Having said that.......women should present themselves well......whatever their size...make an effort to look 'good' for you...and yes it will attract the attention of a man, BUT most importantly, you should feel good about yourself when you look in the mirror.
So, this is what I would say to anyone who has issues with a person's outward appearance....think on a spiritual level as well as the physical first glance. Be open. But as I said....it's a matter or choice.....and that's your right.
xx
You may say you are not attracted to a person that is fat, a person that is thin, a person that is black, white, yellow, brown or disabled in some way......but when GOD is involved in the equation you just never know what might happen........
Yes we all have our 'preference' or 'ideal' and yes we have the power of choice......but what you may be asking God for in a mate, may just happen to be that overweight beauty in the corner.......she may contain everything that will compliment you. She may be the key to your destiny, play a role in your life being much enriched in some way, apart from the love. You may be surprised at how your heart is drawn towards them, even though you may never have 'gone for' that type of woman before, even though she was not your 'ideal'........
Having said that.......women should present themselves well......whatever their size...make an effort to look 'good' for you...and yes it will attract the attention of a man, BUT most importantly, you should feel good about yourself when you look in the mirror.
So, this is what I would say to anyone who has issues with a person's outward appearance....think on a spiritual level as well as the physical first glance. Be open. But as I said....it's a matter or choice.....and that's your right.
xx
N
I would be lying if I said that one's appearance isn't a factor in whether or not you feel someone is attractive or not, at least in the beginning. However, I have found that once you get to know a person for who they are and what is inside their heart, the looks factor tend to fade away. Some of the most beautiful people I have ever met were hardly the most physically attractive. And if by chance you do find both... check their ring finger because they're ussually married already. *lol*
Ladies don't let you're physical appearance play to much of a factor in how you feel about yourself. Because I promise you, if you're not happy with yourself, no one else will be either. I guy loves a girl who knows not only loves to laugh but who can also make him laugh. He also loves a girl who isn't afraid to look him in eye from across the room and give him a smile when she finds him attractive.
A guy worth keeping will choose the average looking girl who is relaxed and content herself over the good looking girl who always seems uptight every time.
Ladies don't let you're physical appearance play to much of a factor in how you feel about yourself. Because I promise you, if you're not happy with yourself, no one else will be either. I guy loves a girl who knows not only loves to laugh but who can also make him laugh. He also loves a girl who isn't afraid to look him in eye from across the room and give him a smile when she finds him attractive.
A guy worth keeping will choose the average looking girl who is relaxed and content herself over the good looking girl who always seems uptight every time.
N
Sorry getting late and i'm getting sleepy lol
Ladies don't let you're physical appearance play to much of a factor in how you feel about yourself. Because I promise you, if you're not happy with yourself, no one else will be either. A guy loves a girl WHO NOT ONLY loves to laugh but who can also make him laugh also. He also loves a girl who isn't afraid to look him in eye from across the room and give him a smile when she finds him attractive
Ladies don't let you're physical appearance play to much of a factor in how you feel about yourself. Because I promise you, if you're not happy with yourself, no one else will be either. A guy loves a girl WHO NOT ONLY loves to laugh but who can also make him laugh also. He also loves a girl who isn't afraid to look him in eye from across the room and give him a smile when she finds him attractive
Thanks Naz! I'm working on the whole self-acceptance thing. I was doing really well for awhile and something hit me and I started being self-concious again. I have to continue to remember that if someone doesn't like what I look like, then they aren't right for me. I don't need to go through my day wishing I looked like someone else...'cause in the end that doesn't do anything at all.
I'm also working on becoming un-shallow in my pursuit for a relationship. I haven't found myself to have an issue with weight, facial hair, color of skin, hair, or eyes. Now I've got to work on age and height! Those are big for me. I want to be able to accept anyone God brings in my direction, even if they are shorter than me or maybe a lil younger. We'll see. I'd still prefer older and taller....but I'm not closing that door! Another thing a friend brought up to me is what about physical handicaps or people with fatal diseases? That's a good question! Could I give up my desire of having my own kids and possibly adopt if it comes down to it? I'd like to cross that bridge when I come to it. But just something for the ladies (and men i suppose!) to think about.
I'm also working on becoming un-shallow in my pursuit for a relationship. I haven't found myself to have an issue with weight, facial hair, color of skin, hair, or eyes. Now I've got to work on age and height! Those are big for me. I want to be able to accept anyone God brings in my direction, even if they are shorter than me or maybe a lil younger. We'll see. I'd still prefer older and taller....but I'm not closing that door! Another thing a friend brought up to me is what about physical handicaps or people with fatal diseases? That's a good question! Could I give up my desire of having my own kids and possibly adopt if it comes down to it? I'd like to cross that bridge when I come to it. But just something for the ladies (and men i suppose!) to think about.
I realize my post probably offended some people. Thats not a bad thing. People need to be offended sometimes, it makes you think about it. You did ask for my honest opinion, and I have a Biblical reason for my thoughts. To go more in-depth, I did not say that fat people are not attractive, I did however say that most people see it that way. Whether or not people admit to being "shallow" is a completely different matter.
It may be presumptuous to label someone "shallow" who is or is not attracted to someone based on their looks. The way you look is a part of who you are. There are a lot of things I am looking for in a potential life partner, looks is one of them. If someone doesn't look attractive to me, I am not going to spend time on them because so far, everything I know about that person leads me to believe that they are not right for me.
God made men sight-based and women touch-based, and He made no mistake in making us that way. He made it so sight is our primary sense, having more weight than any other sense, even often our emotions. He also knew what every one of us will believe about what is beautiful and what is not. Knowing those things, He created us each with our own metabolisms, charismas, "strong" points, and "weak" points, creating all of them on purpose.
People say that you should not care about how others look because they were created that way, and that is true for the most part, however weight (the topic at hand) can be managed through self-discipline. I don't judge someone for something they can not help because I believe that God is a wonderful maker who creates beauty by His hands, and each person He creates is His temple. It is a personal choice, and I am not attracted to someone who damages that temple. To me that also includes people who get tattoos, dye their hair, or get plastic surgery. That is like telling God "okay, I see that you created me how You wanted me, but I think I can do better" .
It may be presumptuous to label someone "shallow" who is or is not attracted to someone based on their looks. The way you look is a part of who you are. There are a lot of things I am looking for in a potential life partner, looks is one of them. If someone doesn't look attractive to me, I am not going to spend time on them because so far, everything I know about that person leads me to believe that they are not right for me.
God made men sight-based and women touch-based, and He made no mistake in making us that way. He made it so sight is our primary sense, having more weight than any other sense, even often our emotions. He also knew what every one of us will believe about what is beautiful and what is not. Knowing those things, He created us each with our own metabolisms, charismas, "strong" points, and "weak" points, creating all of them on purpose.
People say that you should not care about how others look because they were created that way, and that is true for the most part, however weight (the topic at hand) can be managed through self-discipline. I don't judge someone for something they can not help because I believe that God is a wonderful maker who creates beauty by His hands, and each person He creates is His temple. It is a personal choice, and I am not attracted to someone who damages that temple. To me that also includes people who get tattoos, dye their hair, or get plastic surgery. That is like telling God "okay, I see that you created me how You wanted me, but I think I can do better" .
C
Really, if your attitude is "Fat people are bad," is this the thread for you? Having a weight problem is a very tender issue for most of the people that have to deal with it on a daily basis. As someone that's overweight himself, "challenging" someone to consider how awful they must be because of their weight is largely unnecessary. Most of us are challenged enough as is, thanks.
N
Hey Strat, I get where you're coming from but I here's some food for thought. While I'll grant you that yeah men are ussually driven by what they see and the ladies by what they can feel, I have a question for you.
Why then has God made himself invisible to the naked eye and to the physical touch?
The truth is God created us to be more than just creatures of the flesh, a lot more. The bible says that God created man in his image and seeing as God is a God of no limits, I believe that there are no limits to the potential that is hidden deep within the heart of man.
I believe that is why God decided to place Adam & Eve in the Garden first. I also believe that is why God chose to lead the Israelites through the desert for 40 years. While it was always God's plan to rule and reign through Jesus Christ, I believe God, in his infinite love, wanted to give mankind an opportunity to rise their full potential.
Why then has God made himself invisible to the naked eye and to the physical touch?
The truth is God created us to be more than just creatures of the flesh, a lot more. The bible says that God created man in his image and seeing as God is a God of no limits, I believe that there are no limits to the potential that is hidden deep within the heart of man.
I believe that is why God decided to place Adam & Eve in the Garden first. I also believe that is why God chose to lead the Israelites through the desert for 40 years. While it was always God's plan to rule and reign through Jesus Christ, I believe God, in his infinite love, wanted to give mankind an opportunity to rise their full potential.
A
My friends are fat 
but they're my friends so DON'T YOU DARE TEASE 'EM.
*ONLY I CAN TEASE 'EM lol jk
I love fat friends, they're fluffy and are multi-purpose friends,
if you need a shoulder to cry on, you'll get a whole body LOL
if you need a pillow, you'll get a bed LOL
if you need a tap, LOL you'll get a black eye !
but they're my friends so DON'T YOU DARE TEASE 'EM. *ONLY I CAN TEASE 'EM lol jk
I love fat friends, they're fluffy and are multi-purpose friends
, if you need a shoulder to cry on, you'll get a whole body LOL
if you need a pillow, you'll get a bed LOL
if you need a tap, LOL you'll get a black eye !
