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R
Well I guess it is time for me to give my thoghts on this matter.. First of all I hope you all learn brfore it is not too late that looks is not the best way in life to find a mate.. I made that mistake.. Oh yes he had the looks he was oh so handsome.. All the girls wanted him.. But I was the one who got him.. OH I had my prize. And yes he was tall dark and handsome.. I ended up pragant and married way too young.. And wow was I infor a rude awaking.. I was treated badly, I was put down so low that I thought I had nonthing to live for no one would ever want someone like me.. I was ugly I was no good for nothing, I could do nothing right. So why should I brother to leave I was trapped so I thought.. Then one day I woke up and realized hey Rae you are worth more then this.. I am special.. My kids deserve better then this.. So yes I did walk away from a marriage that I tried to keep together for 12 yrs..
R
all that to say this.. I learnt that looks has nothing to do with it.. Big or small, Handsome or ugly.. You had better get to know someones spirit and inner beauty.. Because just because the wrapping looks great, The inside can be the meanest nastiest thing you ever did see.. God loves us.. And for the record use I lost amost 40lbs before I started scoming here and I have see the view from both sides.. And there are days when I wish I was Fluffy as Minne calls it again, because there would be alot less hassles.. Just remember we are all humans and we all look for different things in others. God looks out for us all and he will send who he thinks is right for us.. The big thing is for us to sit back and wait.. And yes that is hard to do!!! .. lol
This is a good point to mention.......some people put on weight or are overweight due to medical conditions. For example: Hyperthyroidism where your metabolism rate gets messed up. Before some are diagnosed, they can put on a whole lot of weight until they find the right level of hormone sufficient for their body.
Some are overweight since childhood....come from large families......
Some gain what is termed as 'puppy fat' that just suddently appears pre-puberty....and some 'thin out' but for others that weight hangs on into adulthood or they have constant battles of losing it and gaining it etc.....despite exercise.....
Some are overweight due to emotional issues which is expressed in their eating.....some go shopping, some go buy a new car to feel better.....others eat....so in this case it's getting to the root of what's going on in the heart/mind.
There are a few issues around being overweight other than someone that has no self control. We must be careful not to 'blanket' every fat person as have no self control.
But as I said before - everyone has a choice.....some guys are not attracted to larger women, as some guys are not attracted to slim women.......that's choice.....
here's a question for us ladies.........If God told you that you were going to be very very busy in ministry with your future spouse and that would require a lot of energy and stamina etc, do you think being overweight could be an issue......would you hear God in what He is saying...and aim to take off the weight? Because if He's said that, then surely He'll help you lose it..?
Some are overweight since childhood....come from large families......
Some gain what is termed as 'puppy fat' that just suddently appears pre-puberty....and some 'thin out' but for others that weight hangs on into adulthood or they have constant battles of losing it and gaining it etc.....despite exercise.....
Some are overweight due to emotional issues which is expressed in their eating.....some go shopping, some go buy a new car to feel better.....others eat....so in this case it's getting to the root of what's going on in the heart/mind.
There are a few issues around being overweight other than someone that has no self control. We must be careful not to 'blanket' every fat person as have no self control.
But as I said before - everyone has a choice.....some guys are not attracted to larger women, as some guys are not attracted to slim women.......that's choice.....
here's a question for us ladies.........If God told you that you were going to be very very busy in ministry with your future spouse and that would require a lot of energy and stamina etc, do you think being overweight could be an issue......would you hear God in what He is saying...and aim to take off the weight? Because if He's said that, then surely He'll help you lose it..?
This is a good point to mention.......some people put on weight or are overweight due to medical conditions. For example: Hyperthyroidism where your metabolism rate gets messed up. Before some are diagnosed, they can put on a whole lot of weight until they find the right level of hormone sufficient for their body.
Some are overweight since childhood....come from large families......
Some gain what is termed as 'puppy fat' that just suddently appears pre-puberty....and some 'thin out' but for others that weight hangs on into adulthood or they have constant battles of losing it and gaining it etc.....despite exercise.....
Some are overweight due to emotional issues which is expressed in their eating.....some go shopping, some go buy a new car to feel better.....others eat....so in this case it's getting to the root of what's going on in the heart/mind.
There are a few issues around being overweight other than someone that has no self control. We must be careful not to 'blanket' every fat person as have no self control.
But as I said before - everyone has a choice.....some guys are not attracted to larger women, as some guys are not attracted to slim women.......that's choice.....
here's a question for us ladies.........
1. Does being overweight slow you down in areas of your life? Does it stop you from living life to the full? Does it hold you back in some way? Do you have true freedom?
I ask myself this question being a 'volumptuous' lady who loves her curves but is currently working at shifting some pounds. I gained a lot of weight through illness over the past 3 years...in fact my drastic weight gain......was what alerted doctors that something was wrong.....but that's another story - which some of my friends on here already know!!
But ladies/gentleman......think on that question.....
Some are overweight since childhood....come from large families......
Some gain what is termed as 'puppy fat' that just suddently appears pre-puberty....and some 'thin out' but for others that weight hangs on into adulthood or they have constant battles of losing it and gaining it etc.....despite exercise.....
Some are overweight due to emotional issues which is expressed in their eating.....some go shopping, some go buy a new car to feel better.....others eat....so in this case it's getting to the root of what's going on in the heart/mind.
There are a few issues around being overweight other than someone that has no self control. We must be careful not to 'blanket' every fat person as have no self control.
But as I said before - everyone has a choice.....some guys are not attracted to larger women, as some guys are not attracted to slim women.......that's choice.....
here's a question for us ladies.........
1. Does being overweight slow you down in areas of your life? Does it stop you from living life to the full? Does it hold you back in some way? Do you have true freedom?
I ask myself this question being a 'volumptuous' lady who loves her curves but is currently working at shifting some pounds. I gained a lot of weight through illness over the past 3 years...in fact my drastic weight gain......was what alerted doctors that something was wrong.....but that's another story - which some of my friends on here already know!!
But ladies/gentleman......think on that question.....
whoops I messed up there - I have post 45 and 47.......duplicates!! I was trying to add in 2 questions at the end of the post 45.....and it posted before I finished writing.......so 45 has one question and 47 has the 2nd question - the rest is duplicated I am afraid - can't delete one of them!!!! Sorry for confusion......
Very true, but I have also heard of instances where friends are spending time with one another.....they are close friends, but have never thought of each other in a romantic way, didn't even find the other attractive in terms of a relationship.....but one day their hearts are turned towards each other based on character/spiritual life and all of a sudden....they find each other very attractive. Sometimes that's why you see couples that look like 'chalk and cheese', like you would NEVER have put them together......and maybe they would never have put themselves together......only that God brought them together.
shallow non-christians would say ' what on earth is that good looking fit guy doing with that fat girl' or vice versa 'what on earth does she see in that fat guy?'.....
What I am trying to say is.......sometimes attraction isn't based on instant/immediate first impressions........sometimes attraction grows over time.......does this make sense......???
N
*lol* Strat you totally missed it...
Actually Jesus states "Those who have seen me have seen the Father..." So to clear things up...
Why didn't God just place Jesus in the garden instead of Adam? Why didn't God send Jesus instead of Moses or David or Elijah? Why did Jesus come as a lowly rabbi, teaching the people about righteousness only to sacrifice His life for them instead of coming to earth as King of King and Lord of Lords like read in the book of Revelation?
There is far more to mankind than the human experience can account for. And if you focus only on the flesh then not only are you 'feeding" on flesh but flesh will be all that you will ever amount to.
Actually Jesus states "Those who have seen me have seen the Father..." So to clear things up...
Why didn't God just place Jesus in the garden instead of Adam? Why didn't God send Jesus instead of Moses or David or Elijah? Why did Jesus come as a lowly rabbi, teaching the people about righteousness only to sacrifice His life for them instead of coming to earth as King of King and Lord of Lords like read in the book of Revelation?
There is far more to mankind than the human experience can account for. And if you focus only on the flesh then not only are you 'feeding" on flesh but flesh will be all that you will ever amount to.
T
Shallow? Que?
Alright, I think we need a reality check in this room. I understand that weight is a sensitive issue with a lot of women, but there's no reason to abandon rational discourse and revert to slinging words like shallow and rude around at people who are just speaking simply and honestly.
Let's face it, short of a few physically blind women with angelic souls everyone is shallow, as the word is being used here. Judging someone on their weight, how they dress, and how much money they have are all totally fair, and almost universally done. These are some of the precious few outward things that an individual can change about themselves, and as such reveal a great deal about their personality! Things like intelligence, height, upbringing, and race, on the other hand, are all impossible to change, yet I guarantee that each and every woman (and man) in this room would have a hard time thinking about dating someone who had an unfavorable combination of these traits. As a matter of fact, I'm certain that a majority of women in this room have ruled out a man because he wasn't tall enough, smart enough, was of a race you didn't fancy, or had an unsuitable upbringing.
Choosing people based on traits they can't control is something we've all done, and it's perfectly fine. People have different tastes, and are wired in different ways. This part of the beautiful way that God made us, which helps ensure that we pick healthy and able spouses, thus enabling humanity to continue to be fruitful and multiply. Being upset at this whole setup is like being angry with gravity. It won't get you very far.
Now, everything I've written thus far treats weight as if it's something like height or intelligence -- something out of the control of the individual. This is a subtle fallacy that necessitates only a quick glance at the world to see its flaws. You know how many overweight young local women I saw while traveling in Ireland, Romania, and Switzerland? None. Yep! Not a one. That doesn't mean they don't exist, just that encountering a fluffy, big-boned, chubby, or otherwise overweight woman is a rare event indeed. Seeing as how most of us are descended from immigrants from European countries like the ones above, it can't be that oodles of American females all have problems with their biology. The more probable answer is then that it's simply a matter of diet, and disposition. What aspect of a person rules these two factors? Ah, I do believe it's personality.
- Christopher
Alright, I think we need a reality check in this room. I understand that weight is a sensitive issue with a lot of women, but there's no reason to abandon rational discourse and revert to slinging words like shallow and rude around at people who are just speaking simply and honestly.
Let's face it, short of a few physically blind women with angelic souls everyone is shallow, as the word is being used here. Judging someone on their weight, how they dress, and how much money they have are all totally fair, and almost universally done. These are some of the precious few outward things that an individual can change about themselves, and as such reveal a great deal about their personality! Things like intelligence, height, upbringing, and race, on the other hand, are all impossible to change, yet I guarantee that each and every woman (and man) in this room would have a hard time thinking about dating someone who had an unfavorable combination of these traits. As a matter of fact, I'm certain that a majority of women in this room have ruled out a man because he wasn't tall enough, smart enough, was of a race you didn't fancy, or had an unsuitable upbringing.
Choosing people based on traits they can't control is something we've all done, and it's perfectly fine. People have different tastes, and are wired in different ways. This part of the beautiful way that God made us, which helps ensure that we pick healthy and able spouses, thus enabling humanity to continue to be fruitful and multiply. Being upset at this whole setup is like being angry with gravity. It won't get you very far.
Now, everything I've written thus far treats weight as if it's something like height or intelligence -- something out of the control of the individual. This is a subtle fallacy that necessitates only a quick glance at the world to see its flaws. You know how many overweight young local women I saw while traveling in Ireland, Romania, and Switzerland? None. Yep! Not a one. That doesn't mean they don't exist, just that encountering a fluffy, big-boned, chubby, or otherwise overweight woman is a rare event indeed. Seeing as how most of us are descended from immigrants from European countries like the ones above, it can't be that oodles of American females all have problems with their biology. The more probable answer is then that it's simply a matter of diet, and disposition. What aspect of a person rules these two factors? Ah, I do believe it's personality.
- Christopher
M
topher... i totally understand where you're coming from. you're very much right in a lot of what you say. however, i have this to add. in all those countries, everyone eats the same amount and exercises the same amount and is the same size. it's part of their culture to have "healthily" portioned meals and to walk vs. driving a car to and from places. our culture in the united states especially is very different. people eat WAY too much and drive everywhere! We're served to much at restaurants and even as small children our parents overfeed us because "we're bored" meaning "we're hungry" i've seen skinny people eat way more than i could ever eat and still be thin due to high metabolism or whatever. basically, you expect us all to practice "self control" and eat a tiny meal because we have a slower metabolism vs. eating as much as everyone around us? okay possible tho this is... is it plausable? not really. we eat in social situations. as everyone around us eats, we eat. and then we drive too and from work or school divided only by the next time we eat. yes, our culture shouldn't be an excuse and it's horrible that it's come to that. but i dont think we ourselves are to blame? i mean, when i was a kid my mom stuffed me full of mac n cheese and spaghetti o's! that's all we could afford and she fed me and my brothers the same amount, then we'd go play. still, even as a child i gained wait a lot faster than my brothers. so is it my mom's fault? weight is easier gained then lost. also, i'm very active. i grew up playing sports like volleyball, tennis, softball, and i'd spend my summers in the lake or on a trampoline. i never lost weight? i've been dieting since i was 15 my heart is as healthy as yours! i can run a mile in 9 minutes (okay... it might be a little slow :/) and i can bench press 100 lbs *flexes muscles* haha and yet i'm still chubby... probably a good 50 lbs or more overweight! i eat right, exercise, and dont lose? sooooo... who's fault is it then? still mine? i mean... i KNOW i'm not the only exception out there... i have friends in similar positions. we TRY to lose weight. it's not fun to be judged by your peers by your size. but honestly, telling a fat person to just "practice self control" and lose the weight is like telling a short person to just "grow an inch"
dont get me wrong. i'm not meaning to complain or say "oh hey i'm fat... feel bad for me! accept me!" uh no... that's so not the case! haha and yes, i asked for complete honesty and i'm glad you guys gave it! you especially topher, as i was curious to your opinion since you speak of weight quite regularily in chat. i'm not saying that you guys are wrong. we ALL judge people on something or another--i am aware--it just always seemed like weight was so much of a "bigger" deal then height or race or intelligence. haha ignore the pun
i guess i just wanted people to know that there's more to us then size. and even if we did put ourselves in this position, we want to be accepted and loved just like EVERYONE else. short, tall, fat, skinny, hairy, bald, we ALL want to be loved... and i just want everyone to know that God loves you, and if you love yourself, then someone else will love you just as much
i'm sorry if i came off as complaining or judgemental myself when i called someone "shallow" but i guess it is a bit of a sensative topic... and altho i'm not easily offended, i know some are! and i think that we should have cautious words when many people will be reading this forum.
thanks for your input everyone!
dont get me wrong. i'm not meaning to complain or say "oh hey i'm fat... feel bad for me! accept me!" uh no... that's so not the case! haha and yes, i asked for complete honesty and i'm glad you guys gave it! you especially topher, as i was curious to your opinion since you speak of weight quite regularily in chat. i'm not saying that you guys are wrong. we ALL judge people on something or another--i am aware--it just always seemed like weight was so much of a "bigger" deal then height or race or intelligence. haha ignore the pun
i guess i just wanted people to know that there's more to us then size. and even if we did put ourselves in this position, we want to be accepted and loved just like EVERYONE else. short, tall, fat, skinny, hairy, bald, we ALL want to be loved... and i just want everyone to know that God loves you, and if you love yourself, then someone else will love you just as much i'm sorry if i came off as complaining or judgemental myself when i called someone "shallow" but i guess it is a bit of a sensative topic... and altho i'm not easily offended, i know some are! and i think that we should have cautious words when many people will be reading this forum.
thanks for your input everyone!
