how to keep sanity during separation

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nicknick1

Guest
#1
#1
trying to hold it together during marriage separation.Wife will not hear of counseling,will not accept a date or pray with me.She feel like God did not put us together.praying a lot,but it still hurts.she is supposedly a godly women but thinks our season has passed.Iknow I have hurt her,but there is no infidelityon my part,however i found out that she has confided in a ex about our marriage and found a letter stating that they could not be together because she is married.i do not feel a physical affair is going on,but obviously there is a third party involved.but my wife is doing little things for me that show me that she still somewhat cares,butwhen I approach her she is very cold to me .what to do?
 
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thorhero

Guest
#2
#2
I think your wife needs to fall in love with Jesus. That's easier said than done but unfortunately she may have lost her love for Jesus and she's trying to fill the emptiness with something new. Try praying with her every night for about 5 minutes then start increasing it to 10 minutes. Also, read the Bible together and get involved in the church if you haven't already. In short help her to fall in love with Jesus again.

This is just what I would do. I'll be praying for you.
 
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oracle2world

Guest
#3
#3
Let her go and get on with your life.
 
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Lucy68

Senior Member
#4
Jan 21, 2011
2,538
22
0
#4
I'm so sorry you're going through this :( .

Talk to her openly and honestly about how much you love her, apologize for your part of the strain on your marriage, emphasize the importance of making a marriage vow before God, and most importantly pray and ask the Holy Spirit to come into your marriage relationship and heal it.

Plan dates and court your wife like you used to before getting married. Listen to her and be interested in things she likes to do. Hopefully, she'll reciprocate that interest :) .

Maybe you already do these things but it's very easy for spouses to lose interest in one another. We really do have to work at maintaining the relationship.

Do you have any children? If so, point out how devastating divorce is to children.

Praying for strength and guidance for you, friend, and for the softening of your wife's heart :) .
 
C

chuinchoy

Guest
#5
#5
If i may ask, what is the reason for your wife to behave such way? In my humbled opinion, you must find out so that you can resolve them unless the marriage didn't mean anything to you at all.
 
R

Risen

Guest
#6
#6
Dear Lord, I thank you for allowing Nicknick 1 to seek help from you. I pray that you give him your wisdom not only that he continue to put his trust in you but also to know the right thing to do. Guide him and be with him, help him find your way of resolving the problem that he is having in his relationship. In Jesus Name I pray
Amen
 
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CB55

Guest
#7
#7
Der Lord, please be with this family and restore them. Don't let him steal, kill and destroy this family. In Jesus name we pray, Amen.
 
IDEAtor

IDEAtor

Senior Member
#8
Aug 15, 2012
827
19
18
#8
My parents were separated for 3 years. They prayed apart from one another. God brought them together again. That was 15 years ago and they are still together. But this is not always what happens. Both of you need to be dedicated to seeing your marriage endure and improve with time. Practicing 1 Corinthians 13 is your job. Trust that God is working on her heart. Write notes to her on the bathroom mirror, saying something you love about her and also sharing a related Bible verse. Again, trust that God, more than you, is working on her heart. Of course, there are many ways to convey your love and respect for your wife.

I do not have a degree or experience as a married person, but my advice is meant to inspire you (and others).
 
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Faith1985

Guest
#9
#9
find joy in every situation u are in and know that all things work out for the good. how you react to a situation is very important.
 
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Faith1985

Guest
#10
#10
read all of first corithians with your wife
 
chip

chip

Banned
#11
Aug 29, 2012
298
3
0
36
#11
Prayer for her heart to be changed towards you, and towards God. I would guess the problem is to be found in her relationship to God, or a strong desire for the other man, in spite of God or you.

If she can not get her act together with God, she will never get it together with you. If she will not address this with you, then pray God will provide one with whom she will (like a mature female Christian!).

Be strong, be available, be present, consider wooing her back, as she draws closer to God - not out of "obedience" but out of love for her.

I think the concept of a separation is to work out issues so as to come back together and that takes two.

Do not let your marriage become just another statistic! Turn your eyes from her to God, lay her at His feet, and then wait in obedience and wait for Him to work. Be sensitive to this so that the slightest change by her (like she needs you for a ride, whatever) is an opportunity He is giving you to be her knight in shining armor and rescue the damsel!. And, if you have nothing nice to say, bite your tongue until it bleeds - you need reconciliation not further damage to your relationship. Remember how much God forgave you of, forgive her of more.....
 
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shekaniah

Guest
#12
#12
God knows your wifes heart better than anyone else!
Ask God for insight how to talk to her and show her love.
Get on your knees and pray to your father,
He is on your side! He hates divorce!

I will pray for you both too,
God bless, Shekaniah
 
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Becky1979

Guest
#13
#13
Guilt trips won't work. She probably already feels guilty and this would only cause more hurt and anger.
Lucy68 said:
I'm so sorry you're going through this :( .

Talk to her openly and honestly about how much you love her, apologize for your part of the strain on your marriage, emphasize the importance of making a marriage vow before God, and most importantly pray and ask the Holy Spirit to come into your marriage relationship and heal it.

Plan dates and court your wife like you used to before getting married. Listen to her and be interested in things she likes to do. Hopefully, she'll reciprocate that interest :) .

Maybe you already do these things but it's very easy for spouses to lose interest in one another. We really do have to work at maintaining the relationship.

Do you have any children? If so, point out how devastating divorce is to children.

Praying for strength and guidance for you, friend, and for the softening of your wife's heart :) .
Click to expand...
 
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Becky1979

Guest
#14
#14
Just because you didn't cheat doesn't mean she was hurt for whatever reason. I am in the midst of seperation. I have a lot of hurt and anger and he probably does too. After 4 hard years I bent until I broke. I am broken and have built a thick wall to protect myself from more hurt. To break this done will take a lot of time. I don't even want to try anymore. Just being around him and talking about the past is painful. Tired of being sad so I want out. I believe only a miracle can change my heart.
 
U

Ugly

Guest
#15
#15
Becky1979 said:
Guilt trips won't work. She probably already feels guilty and this would only cause more hurt and anger.
Click to expand...
Please stop answering 2-3 year old threads.
 
P

presidente

Senior Member
#16
May 29, 2013
9,090
1,751
113
#16
nicknick1 said:
trying to hold it together during marriage separation.Wife will not hear of counseling,will not accept a date or pray with me.She feel like God did not put us together.praying a lot,but it still hurts.she is supposedly a godly women but thinks our season has passed.Iknow I have hurt her,but there is no infidelityon my part,however i found out that she has confided in a ex about our marriage and found a letter stating that they could not be together because she is married.i do not feel a physical affair is going on,but obviously there is a third party involved.but my wife is doing little things for me that show me that she still somewhat cares,butwhen I approach her she is very cold to me .what to do?
Click to expand...
If you do get a chance to talk with her, if you haven't already, you can let her know that what she believes about God not putting you together (if this is the case) is totally unbiblical, and the idea of you two being married being 'for a season' is against the Bible, too. That's what people say to justify their lusts and following their own emotions.

Now, if one of you were divorced before or her dad was opposed to the wedding or something like that, I can see why she'd have some reservations. But if you did everything the write way, saying it wasn't God's will is just a way people try to justify divorce to themselves. It can also stem from a lack of knowledge of God's word. You could suggest she talk to a pastor about this. But hopefully she won't go to some liberal flake.
 
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