Being a parent is an important job but it's even more important to be a good parent, not a perfect parent but a good one.
Basically I have learned how to be a good parent from seeing what not to do rather than my parents teaching me what to do.
If I ever become a parent I will take those lessons I learned and will enforce them and I figured I would post what I have learned and if anyone wants to apply what I have learned that's fine by me.
First off and this is an important one never and I mean never choose favorites. Believe me this damages the family pretty Good and the kids can tell when a favorite is chosen and sometimes that favorite depending on the kid will use that to their advantage in many ways such as getting what they want or lying to get others in trouble and you believe them more than you do the others because hey its your baby girl. I mean after all we know what happened when Jacob did favoritism with Joseph.
another thing is that values and structure is very important, believe it or not children especially teens need order and structure. My mom failed to do this with us, I was the only one with chores and there was no structure in the house no one had regulations no one had rules to abide and she chose favorites. So now we have lazy and I mean very lazy spoiled ungrateful kids who never have to do anything. When and if I become a parent I am never going to make that mistake, my kids will never burp at the table and they will behave and hold their tongues meaning no cussing no rude language and they will respect their elders or get a spanking or grounding or whatever gets through to them.
They will each have daily chores to do and do their homework or else they cant even watch t.v. and I will reward them each with a daily allowance so that they learn at a young age that working hard gets you paid. They also cannot listen to music that cusses or has a negative influence, I heard that kids are like sponges and I wouldnt have believed that had I not grown up the way I did. Kid's and teens are exactly like sponges, what they hear and see affects them greatly. And if you get them in the habbit of doing things right at a young age it sticks with them for life it becomes like second nature to them. So teaching them how to act and behave teaching them the value of working and earning money teaching them to make their beds as soon as they get up teaching them manners and to love others helps them become what you teach them, the opposite is true also.
But another important thing is that while structure is very important you have to give them freedom as well. If you keep them on a short leash that doesnt help them at all, you have to give them the freedom to learn from their mistakes while at the same time knowing when to not let them do certain mistakes likes getting into a car with a stranger.
And sometimes just giving them a free be because you love them isnt a bad idea either, say they really want this new game but they havent earned enough money yet and they have done well in school and did their chores and behaved decently I would give them some extra money and that would inspire them to keep doing good.
As a mother its important not to coddle them to much and yet let them know you love them, a dad doesnt necessarily have to tell them they love them all the time because when you are the father your actions and how you treat them speaks more sometimes. If they look up to you and you become their role model that's a pretty amazing job right there.Anyways I can see this post has become pretty long but these are just some of the things I have learned by having parents like I have
Basically I have learned how to be a good parent from seeing what not to do rather than my parents teaching me what to do.
If I ever become a parent I will take those lessons I learned and will enforce them and I figured I would post what I have learned and if anyone wants to apply what I have learned that's fine by me.
First off and this is an important one never and I mean never choose favorites. Believe me this damages the family pretty Good and the kids can tell when a favorite is chosen and sometimes that favorite depending on the kid will use that to their advantage in many ways such as getting what they want or lying to get others in trouble and you believe them more than you do the others because hey its your baby girl. I mean after all we know what happened when Jacob did favoritism with Joseph.
another thing is that values and structure is very important, believe it or not children especially teens need order and structure. My mom failed to do this with us, I was the only one with chores and there was no structure in the house no one had regulations no one had rules to abide and she chose favorites. So now we have lazy and I mean very lazy spoiled ungrateful kids who never have to do anything. When and if I become a parent I am never going to make that mistake, my kids will never burp at the table and they will behave and hold their tongues meaning no cussing no rude language and they will respect their elders or get a spanking or grounding or whatever gets through to them.
They will each have daily chores to do and do their homework or else they cant even watch t.v. and I will reward them each with a daily allowance so that they learn at a young age that working hard gets you paid. They also cannot listen to music that cusses or has a negative influence, I heard that kids are like sponges and I wouldnt have believed that had I not grown up the way I did. Kid's and teens are exactly like sponges, what they hear and see affects them greatly. And if you get them in the habbit of doing things right at a young age it sticks with them for life it becomes like second nature to them. So teaching them how to act and behave teaching them the value of working and earning money teaching them to make their beds as soon as they get up teaching them manners and to love others helps them become what you teach them, the opposite is true also.
But another important thing is that while structure is very important you have to give them freedom as well. If you keep them on a short leash that doesnt help them at all, you have to give them the freedom to learn from their mistakes while at the same time knowing when to not let them do certain mistakes likes getting into a car with a stranger.
And sometimes just giving them a free be because you love them isnt a bad idea either, say they really want this new game but they havent earned enough money yet and they have done well in school and did their chores and behaved decently I would give them some extra money and that would inspire them to keep doing good.
As a mother its important not to coddle them to much and yet let them know you love them, a dad doesnt necessarily have to tell them they love them all the time because when you are the father your actions and how you treat them speaks more sometimes. If they look up to you and you become their role model that's a pretty amazing job right there.Anyways I can see this post has become pretty long but these are just some of the things I have learned by having parents like I have