BrokenAgain,
I absolutely will share. I pray it will help you.
April 2013: I found out my husband had been having an affair with my brothers wife after reading some text messages complete with pictures. He lied and tried to deny it, but finally had to admit it telling me it had only happened once. He agreed never to talk to her again and not to sext anyone. I called my brother and found out that the affair had been going on for a year. Apparently my brother knew about it, my hubby had said that I was okay with it but just didn't want to know the details. And my own brother believed him!!! It took a lot, but I forgave him and tried to make our marriage stronger, be the wife he wanted.
April 2014: I found a empty condom wrapper and a bar receipt that my husband had emptied out of his pocket. It was just sitting on top of our bed in a glass. It caught my eye, so I looked at it. He claims that he had thrown the condom at a buddy of his as a joke. Yet he refused to call his friend to verify. He made me feel like I should trust him. That I was being ridiculous. So I let it go.
September 2014: (on my birthday): I came home from work to find him asleep on the love seat. His phone was open to texts in front of him. I picked it up to turn it off and had a feeling I should check it first. Long story short: he had been sexting another woman. I left the house with the phone and went through his messages. I even emailed them to myself. He had arranged to drive about 2 hours away and pick up this woman on her lunch break from school, she is an elementary school teacher. They met and had a great time parking in his SUV. Then he took her back to work.
I confronted him and he denied that there was any sex. Over and over he denied it. Then, I told him to be a man and admit what he had done, so he finally said they did have sex. But he denies that it was planned.
I asked him to leave but allowed him two days to find somewhere to stay. (We basically live paycheck to paycheck). He created a big boohoo with the kids when he left and it was the hardest thing I ever went through, but he left.
He continued to come to the house to visit with the kids and to show me he was sorry. Yet, he never would discuss his actions. I asked him to go to counselling so we could work on our marriage. At first he agreed, but never made any attempt to go. Then, he finally said he wouldn't go, that he couldn't, and eventually blamed it on PTSD.
Easter 2015: he spent the weekend on my couch so we could have family time with the kids. I went through his phone, he gave me the password about a month ago and said I could look whenever I wanted to because I had asked him if he had been with anyone since we separated and he had told me NO. The first name I picked turned out to be another woman he had slept with. I confronted him that night. when I asked if he was ever going to be honest with me, he admitted to sex with her and to sleeping with a different woman in early December 2014.
Our stories are are very similar and he also looked at porn. I found it on his phone multiple times. Unfortunately, I also found self made porn of him and pictures other women had sent him.
I shared this so you would see that, like me, it isn't your fault! Even if you forgive him and try to change and be a better wife, it won't work. He has no intention of changing. He wants to string you along. I have forgiven my husband, but will not take him back.
Everytime that I found evidence, I had had a feeling that something was wrong and prayed that God would show me. I prayed that God would let me find out if he was unfaithful or that God would show me if he had repented. I prayed that God would show me what I needed to do. I prayed and told God that I was leaving it in his hands and would do whatever he asked of me.
Each time I discovered more infidelity. I am filing for divorce as soon as I can. God led me to this decision. I do not take it lightly. I have always believed that divorce is wrong. But, God himself has shown me that in my case it is right.
I pray that that my story has helped you. My ear is always open. Please feel free to private message me or friend request me at anytime. May God Bless you and lead you and keep your in his everloving arms!
