Do men want women to take the initive when approaching relationships?

[GlowingLight]

I've been raised that men would rather do the perusing when it comes to relationships but at almost 23 I can't help to wonder if the way I've been brought up is wrong or not because girls in my generation has always chased men and it's always seemed to work. I've noticed the men never seemed to mind. So I'm just wondering would men rather peruse the woman or does it just depend on the person?

 

[Siberian_Khatru]

Dem mind gamez...

Personally I don't care. When there was interest, I'd show it, irrespective of whether I was reciprocating it or initiating. Of course now I only flirt with singlehood. (And sometimes zeroturbulence... )

I can't speak for men everywhere, but I imagine a lot of guys like a girl initiating, even if for no other reason, it serves as an ego boost.

 

[Yeraza_Bats]

Im not bothered by the idea of a girl initiating with me at all It is not something that would bother me in anyway, no

Its not really a rule I totally understand, actually. It seems more based in tradition than anything.......

But yeah, no idea why it was ever a thing.

Oh, but Im sure there are pleanty of people who want things that way, so it would definitely just depend on the guy. I guess if a guy seems more down to earth and junk, hed probly be more likely to not be worried about who did what first

 

[passing_through]

In the nineteen and early twentieth centuries it was considered brazen and unladylike for girls to pursue men, but now it is no shame so go for it.

 

[BruceWayne]

I remember when it was still weird for girls to take the initiative, except at school when we had the 'Sadie Hawkins' dance haha.

I can only speak for myself of course, but it doesn't bother me if the girl does it. You weren't brought up the wrong way, but I would agree with Yeraza that it's more about tradition at this point, rather than anything else. Social conventions change and I don't think it really matters anymore when it comes to who does the pursuing.

 

[Mitspa]

Women are so hard to figure out...I almost always wait for them to show interest.

 

[Ugly]

1,000 threads exist on this subject already.
And no matter how many threads exist he answer is still the same.
Some men don't want to be approached or pursued.
Some men don't care either way.
And some women insist, wrongly, that if a man didn't pursue the woman then he can't be a leader.
I have had a few times when I was pursued, what is a bigger determination is how willing is a woman to be lead.
In my early 20s I was chased after by an older woman, we eventually began dating. She was older, had more money and overall life experience, and when those things were needed she stepped up. Any other time she left me in charge.
People say it's up to the man, solely, to determine that he is the leader, but if a woman doesn't also Choose to take on her biblical role then there is no way to lead her, unless the man tried to dominate her, which is not how he is to be.

So so there is no simple answer. If you pursue some guys will hate it, as well as some women will interject their mouth into your business. And some guys won't mind or may like it.
A man may not have that kind of awareness of you and for that reason he may not ask you out. This doesn't mean he can't lead of you ask him out. Just means you saw him before he saw you.
There are so many factors that go into this that most of the naysayers ignore, because it would defeat their stance.

 

[PoetMary]

I think it's reasonable to add that in my experience, very few men would want a woman to do ALL the pursuing (and I've known zero women who'd want to do that).

It's logical that for any relationship to work there has to be some give and take. Part of the deal with being the pursuer is that you're assuming all of the risk (at least at the beginning). Personally, I think it's unfair to expect men to assume all the risk. Even a shy girl has ways of letting a man know that she is interested and receptive to his pursuit of her. By the same token, I would imagine that most alpha males have ways of letting a woman know that he prefers to be in the driver's seat (so to speak).

 

[RachelP03]

To me personally, I want to be pursued. I'm so strong and independent that when a man steps up it shows me that he interested and that hes going after what he wants. He tells me that hes a go getter and he goes after what he wants and desires. That shows me that he will do it with other things in his life, like goals and dreams and things he wants to accomplish in his family. I know God made everyone different, and I have a friend who dosent like to be pursued. Its weird to her when a man wants to take her on a date, she would rather meet him somewhere and she pay for herself. I also know that when a man is pursuing woman, she needs to be showing interest too and taking the initiative of helping pay on certain events and letting him open the door for her and hopefully leading in prayer.

God made everyone different and some have confidence and some don't. Some are lazy and some arnt. Some are afraid of rejection and some don't care as long as they tried. Just like God pursues me and treats me like a princess, I want my man to do the same to me, of course not exactly the same, because God can do things and fulfill me more than a man on this earth can.

 

[Shawn2516]

I find that a lot of men just don't care about having a relationship with women anymore, so they are letting the women do the pursing.

 

[Reborn]

....... So I'm just wondering would men rather peruse the woman or does it just depend on the person?

We do.
We want to see a woman take initiative.

Once the relationship begins, we are to hold open the door, pay for dates, fix stuff, take a daily shower, clean our finger nails, hand out compliments, drive the bulk of the road trip, move furniture around, laugh at her Dads jokes, laugh at her Moms jokes, defend her honor, pretend to like Greys Anatomy, go shopping on football Sunday, talk about our emotions, be able to read their minds.........


Don't rob us of this.........pursue us.

 

[Hellooo]

Why wouldn't you voluntarily clean your fingernails?

 

[Hellooo]

 

[Reborn]

Why wouldn't you voluntarily clean your fingernails?

They get a cleaning every time l bite my nails off.

 

[Hellooo]

 

[Dino246]

Y'all crack me up...

As I check my fingernails...

Actually, they're clean most of the time. But they do get long, all the better to pluck guitar strings... (goes to look for scissors...)

 

[seoulsearch]

They get a cleaning every time l bite my nails off.

Do you kiss your mama with that mouth???!!!

 

[James4redemption]

Lol Wouldn't that be nice....throw your feet up, put your hands behind your head, wait for the perfect one to fall into your lap and voila! Easy peasy lemon squeezy

No but seriously, when it comes to love, I'm pretty sure its all just situational. You may get engaged, may have to do the engaging. Just don't do anything silly afterwards until you can use that Holy discernment to see what's in front of you.

 

[sydlit]

Women are so hard to figure out...I almost always wait for them to show interest.

Amen, brother, except, I'm STILL waiting, and it's getting really frustrating, but if I try to approach, it gets taken the wrong way, so it's an impossible task, plus I hate game-players/teasers. At this point, I'm just hoping the Lord will smack us into each other, and we'll both know without a doubt. Either that or, Lord, put me to sleep, take a rib, create for me that partner, and say here, you two belong together now. We would be so grateful.

 

[JonahLynx]

I don't care either way. Just stop pretending not to be interested if you are. That's more annoying.