Don't feel like part of the body

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JFSurvivor

Senior Member
Jan 20, 2015
1,184
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#1
Remember my post about CRU? Well that is one of many Christian organizations that hurt me. Tonight I was thinking and I realized that I don't really feel part of the body of Christ anymore. You know how the body has two arms and two legs. I feel like a weird octopus tentacle growing out the side, like I'm not really supposed to be there.

It would be one thing if it was one church that did this but it has been multiple churches so I have no idea if the issue is with me or the church.
 
U

Ugly

Guest
#2
Hi JF
I know how you feel. I've felt that way most of my Christian life. Often felt rejected by the church and by the world. I have, of course, known individuals that i meshed well with. And there have been moments where i didn't feel as much on the outside, but it's been a long time since i've felt i belong.
And with my propensity to be outspoken that feeling has grown worse as people don't view me as doing by part in the body. Doing the dirty work others don't want to do. But rather the view is of someone who is wrong and unloving, and therefore outside of the body.
So you aren't alone in this feeling, if that helps at all.
 
Feb 7, 2015
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#3
Remember my post about CRU? Well that is one of many Christian organizations that hurt me. Tonight I was thinking and I realized that I don't really feel part of the body of Christ anymore. You know how the body has two arms and two legs. I feel like a weird octopus tentacle growing out the side, like I'm not really supposed to be there.

It would be one thing if it was one church that did this but it has been multiple churches so I have no idea if the issue is with me or the church.
It's probably not the church.
 

JFSurvivor

Senior Member
Jan 20, 2015
1,184
25
0
#4
It's probably not the church.
I have asked and people say it is the real church. There have been 6 churches I found that I couldn't be a part of for various reasons. Then people shame me for wanting a "perfect church". I just want one that doesn't make me feel horrible for being me. I understand conviction doesn't feel good but neither does outright bullying and isolation. Conviction calls you to be better. Bullying and isolation tell you, you are bad and wrong because you are.
 
Dec 5, 2015
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#5
The one thing I would think you need to do is to come to terms with the fact that we are not to give credence or room for feelings. They known liars, and are not reliable barometers of what is true. We all need to come to understand that feelings are of the flesh and in the natural, they tend to lead us astray, and not only that, the devil uses feelings and subtle nuances of any situation or environment we are in to try to turn us away from our confidence in Christ, and to dissuade us from knowing and accepting who we are in Christ.

Feelings are way down the list in our determining how things really are. Find out from God how things really are, but seeking Him in prayer and getting into His word and believing what he says about you, there.

You, as a Christian, are a vital part of the Body of Christ in this world. There is no getting away with thinking you are not important to Him in your local assembly. People hurt us, and we can become offended, but your role in those cases is to learn how to forgive...and that doesn't hinge on feelings, either. We forgive, no matter how we feel. As we obey God on loving people and forgiving them, the Lord sees our compliant spirits, and honours that by dropping in the appropriate feelings of love toward those we are trying to deal with. God can even cause you to forget the offenses! He has done that with me.

Someone reminded me one day of how a person publically hurt me in the church, and I remembered it then, but within 24 hours, it was gone again! I still cannot remember what it was! God is awesome that way! He can do this same thing for you! Ask Him!


.
 

JFSurvivor

Senior Member
Jan 20, 2015
1,184
25
0
#6
The one thing I would think you need to do is to come to terms with the fact that we are not to give credence or room for feelings. They known liars, and are not reliable barometers of what is true. We all need to come to understand that feelings are of the flesh and in the natural, they tend to lead us astray, and not only that, the devil uses feelings and subtle nuances of any situation or environment we are in to try to turn us away from our confidence in Christ, and to dissuade us from knowing and accepting who we are in Christ.

Feelings are way down the list in our determining how things really are. Find out from God how things really are, but seeking Him in prayer and getting into His word and believing what he says about you, there.

You, as a Christian, are a vital part of the Body of Christ in this world. There is no getting away with thinking you are not important to Him in your local assembly. People hurt us, and we can become offended, but your role in those cases is to learn how to forgive...and that doesn't hinge on feelings, either. We forgive, no matter how we feel. As we obey God on loving people and forgiving them, the Lord sees our compliant spirits, and honours that by dropping in the appropriate feelings of love toward those we are trying to deal with. God can even cause you to forget the offenses! He has done that with me.

Someone reminded me one day of how a person publically hurt me in the church, and I remembered it then, but within 24 hours, it was gone again! I still cannot remember what it was! God is awesome that way! He can do this same thing for you! Ask Him!



Well this explains a lot about you...

Feelings allow us to feel compassion for others, they allow us to love, they help us to work out certain situations. You are right that sometimes they are not totally in sync with reality but that is an exception to the rule. You are talking to someone who is aspiring to be a clinical psychologist so I know that feelings are NEVER to be dismissed! Feelings can drive a person to suicide so they must always be taken seriously and dealt with, with compassion. Are you really willing to take a risk with someone else's life? Because in some instances, you may not even be aware of, your response could mean the difference between them ending it for good and giving them strength to live another day. Even Jesus had feelings. He cried and got angry. If he had feelings and was meant to be our example what does that mean for us? You need to think long and hard about what you post because EVERYTHING you do has consequences and not all those consequences will affect you. Sometimes they affect other people. For some people (I fall into this category) CC is all a person has in terms of Christian support so what you say means a lot.
 
Last edited:
Dec 5, 2015
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#7
Well this explains a lot about you...

Feelings allow us to feel compassion for others, they allow us to love, they help us to work out certain situations. You are right that sometimes they are not totally in sync with reality but that is an exception to the rule. You are talking to someone who is aspiring to be a clinical psychologist so I know that feelings are NEVER to be dismissed! Feelings can drive a person to suicide so they must always be taken seriously and dealt with, with compassion. Are you really willing to take a risk with someone else's life? Because in some instances, you may not even be aware of, your response could mean the difference between them ending it for good and giving them strength to live another day. Even Jesus had feelings. He cried and got angry. If he had feelings and was meant to be our example what does that mean for us? You need to think long and hard about what you post because EVERYTHING you do has consequences and not all those consequences will affect you. Sometimes they affect other people. For some people (I fall into this category) CC is all a person has in terms of Christian support so what you say means a lot.
What I have said doesn't necessarily reveal much about me, but it reveals much about how a Spirit-led Christian needs to think.

Feelings have their place, but we are not to allow them to dictate to us concerning loving people whoa re unlovely or unloveable, or to not forgive people who have offended us.


In Christ, we overrule what our feelings are trying to tell us that does not jive with what the word of God says about us.


.
 

JFSurvivor

Senior Member
Jan 20, 2015
1,184
25
0
#8
Also feelings are real to the person feeling them and that person who feels those emotions makes choices based on those feelings. If you feel happy you are more inclined to help others. This is a psychological fact. If you are depressed it can seriously affect a persons social life, their education, their self-efficacy (which is how competent a person feels), their confidence, their work life and their love life. You can either be dismissive of their feelings thus worsening their depression or listen and be compassionate, thus making things a little better for them. The choice is yours but remember EVERY CHOICE YOU MAKE HAS CONSEQUENCES AND THEY WILL AFFECT OTHER PEOPLE.
 
D

dalconn

Guest
#9
A couple of ole saying come to mind;

1) if your not part of the solution then you're part of the problem

2) If you should find the perfect church Without one fault or smear, For goodness sake! Don't join that church; You'd spoil the atmosphere
 

JFSurvivor

Senior Member
Jan 20, 2015
1,184
25
0
#10
What I have said doesn't necessarily reveal much about me, but it reveals much about how a Spirit-led Christian needs to think.

Feelings have their place, but we are not to allow them to dictate to us concerning loving people whoa re unlovely or unloveable, or to not forgive people who have offended us.


In Christ, we overrule what our feelings are trying to tell us that does not jive with what the word of God says about us.


.
I see you have made your choice and I hope there are no negative consequences that come to anyone because of it. Please do not push the issue further. You have not only dismissed my feelings but you have defined what a "true Christian" is and I am not able to achieve that so I assume Jesus does not love me and I destined for hell. Thanks.
 
Dec 5, 2015
973
12
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#11
Also feelings are real to the person feeling them and that person who feels those emotions makes choices based on those feelings. If you feel happy you are more inclined to help others. This is a psychological fact. If you are depressed it can seriously affect a persons social life, their education, their self-efficacy (which is how competent a person feels), their confidence, their work life and their love life. You can either be dismissive of their feelings thus worsening their depression or listen and be compassionate, thus making things a little better for them. The choice is yours but remember EVERY CHOICE YOU MAKE HAS CONSEQUENCES AND THEY WILL AFFECT OTHER PEOPLE.

...And bitterness about some people in a church that has hurt you will also hurt you. Those are your consequences. Life is not all about feelings. They are not to be given free rein to run our lives. The truth is that we are children of the King and we have the power given to us to overrule and overcome negative feelings in the light of the truth about who we are in Jesus Christ.


.
 
U

Ugly

Guest
#12
A couple of ole saying come to mind;

1) if your not part of the solution then you're part of the problem

2) If you should find the perfect church Without one fault or smear, For goodness sake! Don't join that church; You'd spoil the atmosphere
Classic Christian response. Kick people while they're down. I thought Christians were to carry the wounded, not berate them for being wounded. Sounds like you are the very type of people she's talking about.
 

JFSurvivor

Senior Member
Jan 20, 2015
1,184
25
0
#13
...And bitterness about some people in a church that has hurt you will also hurt you. Those are your consequences. Life is not all about feelings. They are not to be given free rein to run our lives. The truth is that we are children of the King and we have the power given to us to overrule and overcome negative feelings in the light of the truth about who we are in Jesus Christ.


.
Tell that to someone who is suicidal and I can promise you they will kill themselves. I'm done talking to you.
 

JFSurvivor

Senior Member
Jan 20, 2015
1,184
25
0
#14
Classic Christian response. Kick people while they're down. I thought Christians were to carry the wounded, not berate them for being wounded. Sounds like you are the very type of people she's talking about.
Couldn't have said it better myself.
 
Dec 5, 2015
973
12
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#15
I see you have made your choice and I hope there are no negative consequences that come to anyone because of it. Please do not push the issue further. You have not only dismissed my feelings but you have defined what a "true Christian" is and I am not able to achieve that so I assume Jesus does not love me and I destined for hell. Thanks.

Sorry, lady, but you have no clue about me and what I have learned to overcome in life by the power of Holy Spirit in and through me.

Nobody's dismissed your feelings, but you are feeling put out for some reason where I have done nothing but try to help you. Hand holders are a dime a dozen, but someone who will speak the truth is rare.

When you want to break free from self-pity, let me know. I'll come to your aid.

.
 
W

WarriorForChrist

Guest
#16
The most important thing is the relationship you have with Christ. I have never had luck with Church's but I have come to the conclusion that it is me not them. I have come to terms that I can't get offended by people or the church's I go to. Why should we be offended when we have Christ as our Lord and Savior. Jesus did so much for us and it is selfish to allow people in the Christian community to bring us down. We humans can get pretty petty sometimes and if we just realize whatever we are going through doesn't even come close to what Christ went through.

And you know the best thing about it? God has given us the greatest gift of all and that is sharing Christ with others, well this is second to salvation :). Lets stop worrying about others and go and spread the Love of Christ with everyone and we will rejoice together in heaven.
 
Dec 5, 2015
973
12
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#17
Classic Christian response. Kick people while they're down. I thought Christians were to carry the wounded, not berate them for being wounded. Sounds like you are the very type of people she's talking about.
How dumb. I was giving good, godly information, but I all of a sudden am the one being berated. How blind.

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