Proposing to my gf

[kaylagrl]

I didn't say it wasn't sacred. Im saying we must read and understand everything God says about marriage because it is serious. No one wants to be bound to the law. Christ had a reason for telling us that the children of this world marry and we are not supposed to just conjure up the reason why He said it, but we are to understand the truth of why He said it. I'm finished with this thread. No offence I didn't mean to offend anyone but this is a topic that that many distort and it is a very serious matter in Christianity.

I think you have a fundamental misunderstanding of marriage. You are taking that particular Scripture out of context. No one should rush in to marriage,especially one so young as the OP. But to tell him he may not or should not have to marry and he and his gf are good to carry on as they are is wrong and certainly isn't Biblical. Its not a matter of offence,we just need to be very careful about advice we give young people,especially Biblical advice.

 

[kaylagrl]

I'm not sure this is helpful to the OP anymore. There was a post earlier where he seemed to have made up his mind, and I think any of this now is just confusion.

I don't know if the OP will return but I cannot let what Eternallife said pass. This young man has made a life changing decision.He now is a man with the responsibilities of an adult. If he feels he should marry his gf then he needs to seek good Godly counseling. Marriage is work and you have to be mature to be married,but on top of that he has a child. If he doesn't marry her then he needs to be sure he takes up the responsibility of being a father and stop sleeping with his gf. The advice that Eternallife was giving,that he's good where he is and doesn't have to marry is wrong. He either needs to marry her and commit to her or he needs to stop sleeping with her and make a decision whether she is the one for him or not. Marriage is sacred and not to be taken lightly. I think we need to be very careful about advice we give to young people. And even more so when we are talking about the Bible.

 

[Demi777]

This might be really crazy but I want to propose to my girlfriend. We've been together for over a year and we had a child 2 months ago. That's given us so much responsibility you know and we both want to become better people for our child so we can raise him to hopefully not make the same mistakes that we did. I can't see me having a future without her by my side. Proposing to her may be taking things too fast but we truly love each other. Honestly my son makes me feel like the proudest Father and she'd make me feel like the proudest husband. God gave us a child to make us into better people together and I want that so bad. I would like some Christian voices to talk me out of this if it really is that insane but have you ever felt so strongly that something is the right thing to do that it's always on your mind? That's how I feel about this. But I also don't want to propose and then be rejected and not be able to see my son as much. I really think that we could make this a good, happy Christian family.

Respect. Brother Id say propose to her and God bless you and your family. Im glad theres still people in my age that wanna do the right decision and still care. Praise the Lord

 

[Demi777]

I don't know if the OP will return but I cannot let what Eternallife said pass. This young man has made a life changing decision.He now is a man with the responsibilities of an adult. If he feels he should marry his gf then he needs to seek good Godly counseling. Marriage is work and you have to be mature to be married,but on top of that he has a child. If he doesn't marry her then he needs to be sure he takes up the responsibility of being a father and stop sleeping with his gf. The advice that Eternallife was giving,that he's good where he is and doesn't have to marry is wrong. He either needs to marry her and commit to her or he needs to stop sleeping with her and make a decision whether she is the one for him or not. Marriage is sacred and not to be taken lightly. I think we need to be very careful about advice we give to young people. And even more so when we are talking about the Bible.

Hes one flesh with her now though anyway and he really seems to care.

 

[pwrnJC]

I am quoting you: "Proposing to her may be taking things too fast..." Well, let's take a serious look at your situation here, from this "CHRISTIAN" viewpoint and the idea that you now want to be a good, happy CHRISTIAN family. First of all...things were taken too fast already...and that can't be ignored or changed. So why worry about taking things too fast? Also...GOD does not go around and give teenagers babies to make them better people. How silly! However, I do honestly believe that JESUS CHRIST can SAVE, CLEANSE, RESTORE, MEND, HEAL and so much more in this and all situations if the TWO agree as a WHOLE to do all they can to raise this beautiful child in a loving CHRISTIAN environment. Simply ask her what she wants for the betterment of the child. She may just want your child support check. How does she feel about a relationship with JESUS CHRIST? DO you actually have a serious relationship with JESUS CHRIST?

 

[MyWorld]

I am quoting you: "Proposing to her may be taking things too fast..." Well, let's take a serious look at your situation here, from this "CHRISTIAN" viewpoint and the idea that you now want to be a good, happy CHRISTIAN family. First of all...things were taken too fast already...and that can't be ignored or changed. So why worry about taking things too fast? Also...GOD does not go around and give teenagers babies to make them better people. How silly! However, I do honestly believe that JESUS CHRIST can SAVE, CLEANSE, RESTORE, MEND, HEAL and so much more in this and all situations if the TWO agree as a WHOLE to do all they can to raise this beautiful child in a loving CHRISTIAN environment. Simply ask her what she wants for the betterment of the child. She may just want your child support check. How does she feel about a relationship with JESUS CHRIST? DO you actually have a serious relationship with JESUS CHRIST?

I don't want to take things too fast now because I don't have the option to screw up now because that's going to affect my kid. Plus there has to be a point when you slow down and think about stuff before you do them. For the next part you said, I feel like I am trying with everything I've got to have a good relationship with Jesus and so is my gf. At the moment our sons living with me because my gf is smarter then me so realistically she's the one who's going to go to college so she needs time actually doing school work and sleeping whereas for me I'm not planning to go to college so it makes more sense to have it that way. We talked about getting our own place once we leave school and her Nans offered to put in some money for that so I think that we're both up for something serious. We could be a good family together.

 

[MyWorld]

Screw that she dumped me last night and said she doesn't want anything to do with me or the kid. I've lost the love of my life and I don't even know why. It was just a stupid argument that got out of control. For ****s sake all I wanted was for him to not have to grow up in a broken home but hey I guess that's not going to happen anymore. I'm going to do everything that I can to get her back.

 

[jenniferand2]

my world I am sorry she has dumped you and I am sorry for your pain You are kind of pretty young you do sound like you want to make the right choices now but you can not force someone to love you you for one thing also maybe take this time to reflect on how you want your life to be for you and your child. it is very difficult to raise a child these days to keep the clothed feed and safe from drugs and abuse etc... young couples raising children and being married have a very high chance of divorce fighting abuse and so on. My advice is let things cool off i know it is difficult but it can be done please for now focus on you and your baby and keep going to school and work part time and work to go to college other wise you will find yourself working a bunch of dead end jobs trying to make ends meet wasting your life away and being very unhappy trust me on this I am old and wise lol your pain is new and raw and it stings and hurts but time will heal that pain and might i suggest that if you really want to live life for God that you focus on being as positive a role model for your child as you can be and show your child what a good hard working father you are and they will look up to you much more and respect you much more when they are older.

 

[kaylagrl]

Screw that she dumped me last night and said she doesn't want anything to do with me or the kid. I've lost the love of my life and I don't even know why. It was just a stupid argument that got out of control. For ****s sake all I wanted was for him to not have to grow up in a broken home but hey I guess that's not going to happen anymore. I'm going to do everything that I can to get her back.

So this is what I was trying to say. You are not an adult,neither of you are. The problem is that you have made some very adult decisions. Marriage is for adults, it takes commitment and maturity and work to cultivate a lasting marriage. On top of that you have added a child. So you have two very serious responsibilities going on. Could you talk to your pastor,ask him if he knows anyone that does Christian family counseling? I really think it could be a big help to you and maybe your gf if she would go too. You are dealing with a lot of adult stuff right now that is stressing you both out. You really need good help in planning your future. I do hope that you find it. I think things will start looking better if you make a plan for you and your childs future.

 

[Eternallife]

Screw that she dumped me last night and said she doesn't want anything to do with me or the kid. I've lost the love of my life and I don't even know why. It was just a stupid argument that got out of control. For ****s sake all I wanted was for him to not have to grow up in a broken home but hey I guess that's not going to happen anymore. I'm going to do everything that I can to get her back.

Kid learn to see the truth and never give up hope. Paul warns that many false prophets will come in and scatter the flock. And remember to reverence your Creator.

 

[MyWorld]

She won't reply to me which I'm guessing means that she wants to be left alone. Right now I'll just get on with life and try make things good. She will come back though. I'm not going to lose her.

 

[Eternallife]

She won't reply to me which I'm guessing means that she wants to be left alone. Right now I'll just get on with life and try make things good. She will come back though. I'm not going to lose her.

Part of God' s plan for us in this life is to learn to walk by faith and not by sight. That means that even if we see something that doesn't line up with God's promises to us we trust that God's promises are true and not what we see. The most important think you can do is learn of God right now. And cast all your cares about you kid to him. Inside the word you will find God who creates paradises and outside of the word you will find people who are trying to keep you from entering that paradise. You know how I can tell that at least the white horse of the Apocalypse is out conquering? Some people in the world would rather boast about how tough they are and what they would do to people that don't respect them for instance than search the word and find the paradise of God. Think about it and ask yourself how much since does that make.

 

[MyWorld]

Part of God' s plan for us in this life is to learn to walk by faith and not by sight. That means that even if we see something that doesn't line up with God's promises to us we trust that God's promises are true and not what we see. The most important think you can do is learn of God right now. And cast all your cares about you kid to him. Inside the word you will find God who creates paradises and outside of the word you will find people who are trying to keep you from entering that paradise. You know how I can tell that at least the white horse of the Apocalypse is out conquering? Some people in the world would rather boast about how tough they are and what they would do to people that don't respect them for instance than search the word and find the paradise of God. Think about it and ask yourself how much since does that make.

You do not understand how much sense that makes and how much I needed to hear that right now. I ended up at my gfs house telling her I love her and she said she never loved me and she never will so I hit her. I was angry and drunk and I'm a really bad person. I can't do this. I can't even control myself so how am I meant to raise a child. I'm not ready to be a father. I'm still a kid. I want to be a kid but I can't and I hate it. I love my son more than life itself but love doesn't mean I'm going to be a good father for him. How can I even dare ask God for forgiveness when he knows everything that's happened? One of my thoughts when I hit her was that she should learn to give me some respect. God can help me through this and it'll be all right.

 

[Eternallife]

People try to fight it and people try to find reasons why it shouldn't be, but the fact is Jesus came to save us from eternal death and people that do not accept Him should expect nothing less than eternal death

 

[presidente]

Ask her father's permission if you are going to marry her.

You are 16. If you are old enough to support yourself, your wife, and your child, I'm not going to say it is a get married at that age if both sets of parents approve. But in the world we live in, that's not feasible for most 16 year olds.

 

[presidente]

I was responding to the OP. You hit a pregnant woman? Wow. You really need to stop drinking. God can forgive even that, though.

 

[presidente]

Christ Himself said that the children of this world marry, but those worthy of eternal life neither marry or are giving in marriage. I know many may disagree with me espeallily people who are married, but you can't ignore scriptures like Luke 20: 34-35.

Luke 20:34-35
34 Jesus answered and said to them, “The sons of this age marry and are given in marriage. 35 But those who are counted worthy to attain that age, and the resurrection from the dead, neither marry nor are given in marriage;

A woman who marries a man and he dies and his brother marries her, and this happens 7 times isn't married if she attains to the resurrection of the dead. The Bible does not teach that if we get married in this age, that we won't be resurrected.

 

[sharkwhales]

I can't even control myself so how am I meant to raise a child. I'm not ready to be a father. I'm still a kid.

Pretty much sums it up, when you haven't formed an adult identity, you can't handle the stress of adult situations. It takes many years, especially with how complicated the world is nowadays, to form a healthy identity.

Don't blame yourself, because it's not constructive. It just slows you down from overcoming the problem and getting better. After all, you know it was wrong. This situation is twisting you into something else you weren't meant to be. And if you stayed in this situation the pain could freeze you at this point of maturity.

You need a lot of time in loving healthy relationships to undo the damage and to grow up normally. But with God you can do that. Let God guide you into relationships that will help you walk with him and keep you close to him. Also, God knows you a lot better than you do and would not expect you to be a great father/husband @ 16. Maybe you are just learning your human weakness and how much you need God, but God already knew. So don't hate yourself, just let God help you. Make wiser decisions so you can become who God made you to be. Fix your eyes on the future God has for you, don't get roped into a false sense of duty from something besides God. The devil pushes but God leads.

Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. (matthew 11:29)

The LORD's blessing enriches, and struggle adds nothing to it. (proverbs 10:22)

 

[Eternallife]

Luke 20:34-35
34 Jesus answered and said to them, “The sons of this age marry and are given in marriage. 35 But those who are counted worthy to attain that age, and the resurrection from the dead, neither marry nor are given in marriage;

A woman who marries a man and he dies and his brother marries her, and this happens 7 times isn't married if she attains to the resurrection of the dead. The Bible does not teach that if we get married in this age, that we won't be resurrected.

It does teach that the children of this age are those who have the same characteristics of the devil and or in pursuits of the things of this world. And to say that it doesn't is twisting scripture. Christ tells us this for a very important reason.

 

[Eternallife]

I am though going to stop posting on this thread because it probably is a very complex and touchy issue.