Women, when a man is truly interested in you...

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Tinkerbell725

Senior Member
Jul 19, 2014
4,216
1,179
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Philippines Age 40
#21
When a man is truly interested in you he will make you feel special in many ways. He will be honest, sincere and won't play foolish games with you. If a man is truly interested you will know about it because he can't help it, he likes to express his interest in you and won't care at all if he gets rejected. But sometimes women make a mistake of attacking their ego and it ruins everything.

What is more fragile than a woman's heart?
A man's ego.
 

nutella

Junior Member
Aug 19, 2014
21
0
1
#22
My dad said watch his actions rather than his words.
 

JosephsDreams

Senior Member
Dec 31, 2015
4,313
467
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#23
Tinkerbell725;2596916} But sometimes women make a mistake of attacking their ego and it ruins everything. What is more fragile than a woman's heart? A man's ego.[/QUOTE said:
God gave both genders the capacity to nourish each other, or pull each other down. I remember my cousin who is a lawyer once told me that when he defends criminals he tries to make bad people look their best for the court. He said when he did divorce, it was good people at their worst in court.
I once went out with a woman who told me things I never thought anyone could imagine saying. And its true, it was a blow to my ego. The good that came out of that is that it helped put things in perspective for me regarding my ego, made me a better Christian, less sensitive to insults or slights, toughened me up, I don't think if anyone spoke to me like that again it would bother me nearly as much. And if in the short term I had a grudge against in woman, in the long term I actually appreciated a lot of things about them more.
 

Tinkerbell725

Senior Member
Jul 19, 2014
4,216
1,179
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Philippines Age 40
#24
God gave both genders the capacity to nourish each other, or pull each other down. I remember my cousin who is a lawyer once told me that when he defends criminals he tries to make bad people look their best for the court. He said when he did divorce, it was good people at their worst in court.
I once went out with a woman who told me things I never thought anyone could imagine saying. And its true, it was a blow to my ego. The good that came out of that is that it helped put things in perspective for me regarding my ego, made me a better Christian, less sensitive to insults or slights, toughened me up, I don't think if anyone spoke to me like that again it would bother me nearly as much. And if in the short term I had a grudge against in woman, in the long term I actually appreciated a lot of things about them more.
Out of the desire to be heard, women sometimes say things they don't really mean therefore men should not take them seriously all the time and just love them instead because words are just words its the action that counts. Happy wife happy life.
 
Mar 2, 2016
8,896
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#25
Out of the desire to be heard, women sometimes say things they don't really mean therefore men should not take them seriously all the time and just love them instead because words are just words its the action that counts. Happy wife happy life.
Everybody says things out of anger at different times. As far as the happy wife happy life comment, I sort of take exception to it. People are responsible for their own happiness....and to make someone else miserable because a woman is miserable is out of line. People are responsible for their own emotions whatever gender they are.
 

Tinkerbell725

Senior Member
Jul 19, 2014
4,216
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Philippines Age 40
#26
Everybody says things out of anger at different times. As far as the happy wife happy life comment, I sort of take exception to it. People are responsible for their own happiness....and to make someone else miserable because a woman is miserable is out of line. People are responsible for their own emotions whatever gender they are.
Yes but sadly its different in a marriage because you are one. What the other feels you are affected. You don't only own each others hapiness but also own each others misery. Some people bail out when misery strikes.
 

proverbs35

Senior Member
Nov 10, 2012
825
239
43
#27
Out of the desire to be heard, women sometimes say things they don't really mean therefore men should not take them seriously all the time and just love them instead because words are just words its the action that counts. Happy wife happy life.
From the abundance of the heart the mouth speaketh. Luke 6:45
Life and death are in the power of the tongue. proverbs 18:21
Actions are important and so are words. Many of the verses in Proverbs tell us about the importance of words. When someone male or female tells you how they feel about you believe them.

There was a recent incident in my hometown where a man killed his longtime live-in girlfriend. The boyfriend owned the home. Sources close to the couple said that the boyfriend had asked the woman to leave and move out of his home because he wanted to end the relationship. She refused to leave. He recently killed her while she was standing in the kitchen cooking. He evidently told her that he wanted her out. She did not take his words seriously. As a result, she is dead. He killed her in front of her children. This could have been for prevented on so many levels. She could have taken him at his word. Perhaps, she would have still been alive today.

From the abundance of the heart the mouth speaketh. Luke 6:45


...
 

JosephsDreams

Senior Member
Dec 31, 2015
4,313
467
83
#28
Mis-communication is a big issue in so may areas; relationships, business, even between governments, and it can have disastrous results.
 
C

Chuckt

Guest
#29
I recently read the following and wanted to get your take on it. Thank you. :)

When a man is truly interested in you, there will be no need for you to do the pursuing. Men are born to pursue women. Yes, you can pursue a man if you want to, but in most cases that's just an obvious sign that he's not into you. It's not natural for a man to sit back and let the woman do all the work. For a man who claims to like you to sit back and allow you to do all the calling, texting, dating arrangements, talks about the future etc., it's pretty obvious where you stand in that man's life. When a man really wants you, you won't have to chase after him like he's some celebrity who barely has time for a fan. You will be his priority.
It isn't always true. Some women won't talk to men and won't create opportunities through conversation and that is why they are single. There are also plenty of men who just pursue women just go get a date and not because they know anything about her. I also know men who have to have a beauty queen.

I've been to plenty of churches where there were no single people and I've been to plenty of churches where no one talks to other people because they just shake hands and go home. I've been turned away from worldly Christians because I don't wear expensive clothes.

Some men are tired of rejection because there are a lot of women who are holding out and rejecting men because they are not leaders because the church elders are 60 years old and a young person is not. One of the most painful things I hate is rejection and I wouldn't ask someone out if I was afraid of rejection.

And to a lot of people, if they see someone poor, they aren't interested in them because there are a lot of worldly Christians because when I and another Christian went door to door to give people the gospel, they wouldn't identify themselves as Christians even though we told them John 3:16 and that they needed to be born again to enter the kingdom of heaven. One of our church elders gave out tracts to 50,000 residents and none of them turned out to our church and that is a problem because people are worldly.

Another observation from another Christian and I is that there are some people who go to Christian college just to find a mate and to me that just says that some people just want to get married which is not the right motive.
 

Tinkerbell725

Senior Member
Jul 19, 2014
4,216
1,179
113
Philippines Age 40
#30
From the abundance of the heart the mouth speaketh. Luke 6:45
Life and death are in the power of the tongue. proverbs 18:21
Actions are important and so are words. Many of the verses in Proverbs tell us about the importance of words. When someone male or female tells you how they feel about you believe them.

There was a recent incident in my hometown where a man killed his longtime live-in girlfriend. The boyfriend owned the home. Sources close to the couple said that the boyfriend had asked the woman to leave and move out of his home because he wanted to end the relationship. She refused to leave. He recently killed her while she was standing in the kitchen cooking. He evidently told her that he wanted her out. She did not take his words seriously. As a result, she is dead. He killed her in front of her children. This could have been for prevented on so many levels. She could have taken him at his word. Perhaps, she would have still been alive today.

From the abundance of the heart the mouth speaketh. Luke 6:45


...
That's where discernment comes in and you should know your spouse well before marrying him. What I was trying to say is that don't take it seriously ALL THE TIME so you won't get hurt over minor things. Or take care of the minor things so they will not become big issues. There are minor things that women say carelessly specially when they are nagging. For some nagging means they care. But there are major things that should be taken seriously such as your example.
 

Dan58

Senior Member
Nov 13, 2013
1,991
338
83
#31
Men are born to pursue women.
If this is true, what's with all the restraining orders? :)

I think that now-a-days its more a matter of showing mutual interest. "Pursuing" someone can lead to trouble, especially if they don't want to be hunted. I'd recommend just picking up a phone and calling someone, and if they don't return your call, you've got your answer. Taking it to the next level isn't being respectful, the pursuit can make a person uncomfortable when they have no desire to be chased. Some women might find it romantic, but others might prefer to get rid of you because they don't like pushy or aggressive men... jmo
 
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Depleted

Guest
#32
I recently read the following and wanted to get your take on it. Thank you. :)

When a man is truly interested in you, there will be no need for you to do the pursuing. Men are born to pursue women. Yes, you can pursue a man if you want to, but in most cases that's just an obvious sign that he's not into you. It's not natural for a man to sit back and let the woman do all the work. For a man who claims to like you to sit back and allow you to do all the calling, texting, dating arrangements, talks about the future etc., it's pretty obvious where you stand in that man's life. When a man really wants you, you won't have to chase after him like he's some celebrity who barely has time for a fan. You will be his priority.
I'm not big into generalities, so usually disagree with things that say everyone of X group is like that.

I did find out, after we were married, that he didn't ask me on a date for so long because his buddy (a mutual good friend) told him I turned the buddy down flat.

Ha! No I didn't.

I was new in the church, most of the young single people had just been swept away to another state, so I was nervous about who was left. I also wasn't interested in dating, getting married, or even looking for a boyfriend, so I simply told the guy I didn't join the singles group to date.

Generalized defensiveness is not a No. lol

I would have gone on a date with that guy, but he never asked. Women! You just can't predict us, but, in like kind, I don't think we can predict guys either.
 
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Depleted

Guest
#33
I'm just sitting here pondering the book of Ruth.
You're thinking about gleaning wheat during this conversation?


lol But that's the first image I get when I think of that book -- man, her back was strong!
 
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Depleted

Guest
#34
I'd rather be single and live for GOD than to go thru that AGAIN ---- i dont wish that life on my worst enemy
You do know it's not an either/or proposition, right? If you didn't like the last kind of woman you married, don't go out on dates with those kinds of women. We're really not all alike, you know. (And that's how hubby didn't fall for it twice. In every which way, his first wife was the exact opposite of me. Sadly, including she was quite the able housekeeper and could cook well.)
 
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Called4Christ

Guest
#35
You're thinking about gleaning wheat during this conversation?


lol But that's the first image I get when I think of that book -- man, her back was strong!
:DHaha. Yes, gleaning wheat...It's very romantic you know ;). I mean the local conversation is always,

"Did you see ____ gleaning wheat the other day?"
" I know. So much gleaning. "

( Actually...I've never thought about that before; her back was probably really strong! )
 
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Depleted

Guest
#36
Out of the desire to be heard, women sometimes say things they don't really mean therefore men should not take them seriously all the time and just love them instead because words are just words its the action that counts. Happy wife happy life.
Or... women can get over that game and just say what they meant. Men don't understand that game. (No one understands that game.) So why play it?

I think the hardest problem hubby had with me at first was figuring out I really meant what I said.
 
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Depleted

Guest
#37
Yes but sadly its different in a marriage because you are one. What the other feels you are affected. You don't only own each others happiness but also own each others misery. Some people bail out when misery strikes.
When I'm miserable I avoid him, because I know what I feel, he feels. And then I give myself five good minutes of feeling miserable, get over the pity party, and get back to life. (Okay. So once it took 20 minutes. Fortunately, there was miscommunication, so he didn't even know I was miserable.)
 
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Depleted

Guest
#38
That's where discernment comes in and you should know your spouse well before marrying him. What I was trying to say is that don't take it seriously ALL THE TIME so you won't get hurt over minor things. Or take care of the minor things so they will not become big issues. There are minor things that women say carelessly specially when they are nagging. For some nagging means they care. But there are major things that should be taken seriously such as your example.
Nagging is selfishness, not caring. What can I possibly nag him about? He knew he was eating too much. I didn't have to tell him that. I knew I smoked too much. He didn't have to tell me that. We loved each other despite our individual destructive behavior. We praise for good goals and agree with bad behavior. (He said he should eat less. I agreed. I said I should smoke less. He agrees.)

I grew up in the generation of kids who were told to nag their parents to get them to quit smoking. Not once did I see that work, so I didn't. And now I won't nag, because nagging doesn't work. And it's just plain rude.
 

Tinkerbell725

Senior Member
Jul 19, 2014
4,216
1,179
113
Philippines Age 40
#39
When I'm miserable I avoid him, because I know what I feel, he feels. And then I give myself five good minutes of feeling miserable, get over the pity party, and get back to life. (Okay. So once it took 20 minutes. Fortunately, there was miscommunication, so he didn't even know I was miserable.)
Good technique and that's is called EFFORT and you do it if you really want your marriage to last a lifetime.
 

Tinkerbell725

Senior Member
Jul 19, 2014
4,216
1,179
113
Philippines Age 40
#40
Nagging is selfishness, not caring. What can I possibly nag him about? He knew he was eating too much. I didn't have to tell him that. I knew I smoked too much. He didn't have to tell me that. We loved each other despite our individual destructive behavior. We praise for good goals and agree with bad behavior. (He said he should eat less. I agreed. I said I should smoke less. He agrees.)

I grew up in the generation of kids who were told to nag their parents to get them to quit smoking. Not once did I see that work, so I didn't. And now I won't nag, because nagging doesn't work. And it's just plain rude.
I know that the bible says that a nagging wife is not good. Maybe nagging is not the term to use. It should be communicating or speaking the truth in love.

There's a kind of nagging that some people miss in their spouse when they are away. Maybe its not even called nagging, I dont what is it called. Too much concern? Some stuff work on other people. It does not mean that it worked for you its the standard. People have different personalities.