Asking for a date: Arrogant?

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Narn

Guest
#1
#1
Hey there so I have this off the wall question but this is literally what is holding me back from asking someone out. So idk if you give a good enough answer I might ask her out....

I have been dealing with this question of weather asking someone (a lady in my case) on a date is arrogant? This may be due to the fact of rejections in the past two I asked. Basically saying "No why would you even ask me?"
If that makes sense, since I'm a brainless guy I guess I wonder if you can know without asking if the girl wants to go out with you and if you just ask is that just arrogant assumption?
 
Ashton

Ashton

Banned
#2
Feb 18, 2010
191
0
0
#2
Narn said:
Hey there so I have this off the wall question but this is literally what is holding me back from asking someone out. So idk if you give a good enough answer I might ask her out....

I have been dealing with this question of weather asking someone (a lady in my case) on a date is arrogant? This may be due to the fact of rejections in the past two I asked. Basically saying "No why would you even ask me?"
If that makes sense, since I'm a brainless guy I guess I wonder if you can know without asking if the girl wants to go out with you and if you just ask is that just arrogant assumption?
Click to expand...
Hey, G'kar. I don't think the act of asking someone out is arrogant in itself. It's just what guys are supposed to do. If you're thinking deep down inside, "I know for a fact she wants to go out with me, and no one else can make her as happy as I can," that might be an arrogant assumption. :D But some girls like a certain amount of cocky in their guys... just as long as it's not overbearing and done ad nauseum.
 
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shanaynay-deleted

Guest
#3
#3
LOL bock bock :p
 
N

NodMyHeadLikeYeah

Guest
#4
#4
Narn said:
Hey there so I have this off the wall question but this is literally what is holding me back from asking someone out. So idk if you give a good enough answer I might ask her out....

I have been dealing with this question of weather asking someone (a lady in my case) on a date is arrogant? This may be due to the fact of rejections in the past two I asked. Basically saying "No why would you even ask me?"
If that makes sense, since I'm a brainless guy I guess I wonder if you can know without asking if the girl wants to go out with you and if you just ask is that just arrogant assumption?
Click to expand...

Girls can be so mean! I apologize on behalf of the two girls that said that to you. Thats a horrible thing to say to someone who asks you out.

I dont feel its arrogant to ask someone out. Some times girls drop hints if they want you to ask them out. Sometimes you just gotta put yourself out there and ask.
 
S

sportygirl

Guest
#5
#5
Honestly most girls that are intested want to be asked out by a guy, they dont like to feel like they have to do the pursueing. I don't see asking someone out as being arogant, and as long as your motives for wanting to go out with the person are in the right place than its fine. Rejection yes can be apart of asking a girl out...if she's not intersted it happens, hopefully shes a good enough person to do it nicely, if not your better off anyways.

In regards to telling if a girl likes you, well every girls different. Its really hard sometimes I'm sure, I know im more shy around guys i like than around ones that i just find to be friends...talking to a guy friend simple talkign to a crush not so much. I do try to talk to them though, and be around them, and get to know their friends...Idk what else haha
 
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shanaynay-deleted

Guest
#6
#6
Everyone can be mean... You need to go after what you want. I have been laughed at before and stricken with some nasty words by men. Some people are messed up. You can't focus on those ones. Just think the girl that said that "No why would you even ask me?" could have been the type of girl you married. Good thing that didn't happen right? And also keep in mind...even though we are big girls we still get scared and overwhelmed. I can't even keep eye contact with the guy that I like. I have to hold my breath when he opens the door. If he asked my out I would probably pee my pants. OK....well maybe not...but my point is she can still like you even though she socks you in the mouth for trying to kiss her too early on. :)
Remember... have a little distance when you ask her ok!


NodMyHeadLikeYeah said:
Girls can be so mean! I apologize on behalf of the two girls that said that to you. Thats a horrible thing to say to someone who asks you out.

I dont feel its arrogant to ask someone out. Some times girls drop hints if they want you to ask them out. Sometimes you just gotta put yourself out there and ask.
Click to expand...
 
seoulsearch

seoulsearch

OutWrite Trouble
#7
May 23, 2009
14,943
4,587
113
#7
I agree with Nod and have to also tell you I'm sorry that the other girls you have encountered have been so insensitive.

You seem like a nice guy and I would say, definitely go for it!! We all suffer rejection at times and it HURTS... but maybe that's why we go through it... because rejection comes in many different forms (jobs, social groups, working towards our dreams) and even if it doesn't work out as planned, don't lose who you are and keep on going whatever step God has next for you.

If you ask me, I think it was those other girls who were the arrogant ones for sticking their nose up at you and implying they were somehow too good for you to ask out...

You're humble enough to ask God what that true state of your heart is and are willing to be corrected if there's anything He sees that needs adjusting... you can't get much more un-arrogant than that. The Bible calls that humility!
 
Ashton

Ashton

Banned
#8
Feb 18, 2010
191
0
0
#8
If some girl were as arrogant to me as she was to you I'd have to give her a big wet smooch on the cheek for turning me down. She just saved me a few precious days of my life of having to put up with her.
 
N

Narn

Guest
#9
#9
Ashton said:
If some girl were as arrogant to me as she was to you I'd have to give her a big wet smooch on the cheek for turning me down. She just saved me a few precious days of my life of having to put up with her.
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That would be arrogant! lol
 
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shanaynay-deleted

Guest
#10
#10
That explains why some sock them in the mouth.
 
K

kiwi_OT

Guest
#11
#11
NodMyHeadLikeYeah said:
Girls can be so mean! I apologize on behalf of the two girls that said that to you. Thats a horrible thing to say to someone who asks you out.

I dont feel its arrogant to ask someone out. Some times girls drop hints if they want you to ask them out. Sometimes you just gotta put yourself out there and ask.
Click to expand...
Completely agree! It was those girls who didnt deserve you not the other way around. If they were genuinely not interested then they should have let you down far more nicer and gentler.

Keep asking them! But make sure you get to know them a for a bit aye? Girls generally dont like being asked out by guys they hardly know.
 
Johnoble

Johnoble

Member
#12
Apr 24, 2009
76
2
6
#12
Ask her out, go for it! It's the only way you'll ever know if she is willing to start a relationship. If she says no, don't give up so easily, she could be testing you (happens more with younger more immature girls) But still, the worst feeling is knowing you could have done something more to fight for that special girls but you didn't.
 
Sharp

Sharp

Senior Member
#13
May 5, 2009
2,565
20
38
#13
don't do it.

if you're going to do it, do it via email so the rejection is less confrontational.

better yet, write her a letter with a feather and ink, like they used to do.
 
L

lonewolf

Guest
#14
#14
If you get the feeling she doesn't really like you, chances are she doesn't really like you...but go ahead and ask anyway. The only thing you really have to lose is your pride. Trust me we ALL go through what you're going through...and it usually doesnt get any easier.
 
MahogonySnail

MahogonySnail

Banned
#15
Jan 8, 2009
7,576
23
0
#15
If you want to really impress her, write a letter by cutting out letters from a newspaper and gluing them onto a piece of paper, and keep it anonymous.
 
haley4jesus

haley4jesus

Junior Member
#16
Jul 28, 2009
28
0
0
#16
MahogonySnail said:
If you want to really impress her, write a letter by cutting out letters from a newspaper and gluing them onto a piece of paper, and keep it anonymous.
Click to expand...


I don't know if receiving a letter like you said would impress me or not. I am afraid that may be a little creepy, anyway if it was kept anonymous.
 
N

Narn

Guest
#17
#17
Sharp said:
don't do it.

if you're going to do it, do it via email so the rejection is less confrontational.

better yet, write her a letter with a feather and ink, like they used to do.
Click to expand...
If a guy can't ask a girl face to face then why bother? What a way to start a relationship...
 
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sportygirl

Guest
#18
#18
YEAh a girls more likely to say yes, if you ask in person. I know my now ex, told me he liked me in person, and although before that I had kin dof liked a differnet guy, a week later i decided to give him a a chance, and we dated for nine months....
 
aspen

aspen

Banned
#19
Feb 3, 2010
1,238
3
0
#19
Narn said:
Hey there so I have this off the wall question but this is literally what is holding me back from asking someone out. So idk if you give a good enough answer I might ask her out....

I have been dealing with this question of weather asking someone (a lady in my case) on a date is arrogant? This may be due to the fact of rejections in the past two I asked. Basically saying "No why would you even ask me?"
If that makes sense, since I'm a brainless guy I guess I wonder if you can know without asking if the girl wants to go out with you and if you just ask is that just arrogant assumption?
Click to expand...
You aren't asking to be her master - you are asking her to go have some fun with you. Nothing wrong with that.
 
M

Matthew

Guest
#20
#20
Narn said:
Hey there so I have this off the wall question but this is literally what is holding me back from asking someone out. So idk if you give a good enough answer I might ask her out....

I have been dealing with this question of weather asking someone (a lady in my case) on a date is arrogant? This may be due to the fact of rejections in the past two I asked. Basically saying "No why would you even ask me?"
If that makes sense, since I'm a brainless guy I guess I wonder if you can know without asking if the girl wants to go out with you and if you just ask is that just arrogant assumption?
Click to expand...
It's not arrogant to ask for a date, that's basically just requesting a womans company and a fairly normal thing to do, the danger is seeming arrogant to her by how you ask and present yourself.

Some guys with a lot of confidence or a need to over-compensate will sometimes ask a woman out like she should be flattered to be aksed :eek: avoid coming across that way.

Of course you can read the signs and have a fairly good idea of what she is thinking about you, but it is all guess work until you take the plunge, just brace yourself and be a gentlemen.....most times the worst you'll get is a polite 'no thanks', which means you finish with as much as you started with....so what do you have to lose? ;)
 
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