before He revealed Himself to me, i read the Law, and it was commands. they were commands that i did not keep, and the Law convicted me. it made me aware of the sin in me -- and made that sin all the more sinful, because not only was it sin, but it was also transgression.
i should follow it -- i thought. i knew, because it is good; it is the perfect law of God, the Holy One.
i have not followed it, i knew. i still did not follow it, i knew. even if i kept my hand from evil, sin crouched at the door. it was in me. the Law never removed sin: it clarified it. it highlighted it. it drew big red circles around it, and bright arrows pointing at it.
then i came to know Him.
this is what the Law teaches: that all men need mercy. that no one is saved, except by mercy. not by human desire, not by human effort, not by vain human attempts at righteousness -- mercy. even the sacrifices of the law are mercy: the blood of bulls and goats do not forgive sin; they are obedient replies, and for that obedience, God grants mercy.
that is how the Law brings us to Yeshua, because Yeshua is the Living Mercy of God.
then He showed Himself to me, and i submitted myself to Him.
and i fell as dead at His feet.
but in Him, who has died for my atonement and sanctification - the atonement of all sin - and my entire sanctification - i not only died, but was raised up again in life. a life that is not mine, and a righteous life that is not my righteousness. not by effort, but by submission. not by will, but by mercy.
and He continues to grow me, as the seed of a fruit tree, sprouted, slowly taking shape, becoming a thing that gives shade to many creatures and by whom many things are fed. that is not complete yet, temporally.
now i read the Law again.
these things are no longer commands; they are promises. i will not covet. i will not blaspheme. i will not murder. because by faith, i know that the Blessed One who began this in me will complete it.
not by my desire. not by my effort.
by my submission to Him. by faith.