Porn and What is Happening with Teens Today!
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You need to know what is causing the pain that leads to addiction, before you can recommend an ''answer.''
I know coming to Christ changes a person's life for the better, but even then, people can still struggle with temptations. You have to know why someone is in pain ...you can't just give a 'one size fits all' remedy to everyone.
I know coming to Christ changes a person's life for the better, but even then, people can still struggle with temptations. You have to know why someone is in pain ...you can't just give a 'one size fits all' remedy to everyone.
And I'm saying someone needs to figure out why they are doing what they're doing. Why are some attracted to certain temptations over other ones? You have to figure out the reasons first. Once people figure these things out about themselves, then they can find healthier ways to deal with stress from work, or stress from relationships, etc.
If someone needs to lose 100 lbs, and they keep struggling with it, it's not just about diet and exercise at that point. There is something deep inside their hearts that keeps them in bondage, and once they figure out for example, why they turn to food for comfort...then they will begin to heal. Just my thoughts to it anyways.
If someone needs to lose 100 lbs, and they keep struggling with it, it's not just about diet and exercise at that point. There is something deep inside their hearts that keeps them in bondage, and once they figure out for example, why they turn to food for comfort...then they will begin to heal. Just my thoughts to it anyways.
Sometimes it is still a struggle even when you find out the triggers. I can relate a lot to food because that is my addiction. Although I have joined a gym and I have someone I can talk to and hold accountability, it's still a rollercoaster and I haven't made as much progress as I would have liked. Still made progress, though, which is something I gotta tell myself. Think of the positive. Kinda going off based, but everything I said can be put in place with those struggling with porn.
Ok, I have a few issues if this article and there are a few things I like. I'll start with what I like.
The cardboard butterfly illustration is good. Its accurate in my opinion. If you're simple trying to understand
what porn actually does...its a good description.
Also... this part "Let’s say, for example, that you just got done with a 10 mile run on a hot day. You come inside and there are two glasses of water on the kitchen table. One is regular water from the tap; the other is salt water. Both look the same. Both are water. But while one glass will hydrate your body, the other will leave you more dehydrated than before. And over time, while regular water will keep you alive, drinking only salt water would kill you faster than if you drank nothing at all." this...it good.
For me its a very accurate description of what pornography did to my life. It was salt water. And it nearly destroyed my life. According to some people, it did. Well, porn and the promiscuity that came along with it.
NOW...Since I've been positive for a little but I'm going to come out with the negative
For starters "porn" is a broad term. I don't really think a lot of people realize how easy inappropriate images are to access.
Never in my life have I sat down and watched a porn flick start to finish. But I couldn't even begin to number the images that I've accessed. If you're a parent and your kid has snapchat, delete it There are other programs similar...I've personally used snapchat and kik to avoid texting and having a traceable trail. Its also super easy to hide apps and lock down images on nearly any smart phone. Computers aren't as easy to me because that wasn't what I used.
And secondly, as long as I can remember I've heard people who were "shocked", "horrified", and over all condescending
(NOT directing this at the OP, at all...this is a generalized statement) about this "problem". I've heard everything from
just don't look, look away, lock the internet, don't let the internet in your home (directed at parents), and my personal
favorite...Always know what you teen is doing! If you watch them enough they cant get into "trouble".
While most of these ideas are generally well meaning they are really way off base. Personally, as a parent I will ALWAYS
restrict what my kid can access online. I'm not diminishing that idea at all. But...over sheltering TEENAGERS
isn't going to work when in reality a lot of kids are well on their way to addicted or are addicted long before their teen years.
My first porn experience was before my 8th birthday. I was addicted (as in DAILY usage) before my 11th birthday.
My mom found it. Put on internet filters, had my grandpa put the flat out fear of God in me, acted insanely horrified,
had mortifying long talks about it over the next 3-4 years...but nothing really did any good. Because nothing changed.
Her filter did nothing. In the moment I assured myself and usually whomever cornered me...it would NEVER happen again.
But there it was later. I don't say this in a bragging "Look how smart I am" way...its just reality. Most of your kids can predict passwords, and out technology you. If that sounds disrespectful I honestly and totally do NOT mean it to...I'm just being honest.
Anyways, the cycle of "NOPE never happening again" and failing led me to a point where I didn't care.
I decided that obviously I wasn't really capable of stopping and the shocked and (usually) condescending attitudes of people trying to "help" left me feeling unfixable. Totally unfixable. And unlovable, unforgivable, and unworthy. I had a couple accountability buddies, I got grounded, I TRIED...in my power to fix myself (while hearing how TRYING is a cop out...just do it). But while I tried to fix it...it just kept eating at me. It became my gateway to sex...because porn stopped being enough. And it took control of almost every area of my life.
Until God convicted me. It went beyond the "this is wrong and I shouldn't do it" feeling and went to "Oh God...I'm going to vomit, cry, and maybe die now". Once He took me there I looked for help. I looked to the Bible, I dodged every image I could, I broke up with my girlfriend, I worked on me and I prayed my heart out when the temptation came my way....and still...I was there. I wanted to stop but I didn't, I hesitate to say I COULDNT but it was just so easy to get to
and I didn't. My late night attempts to avoid online porn actually brought me to CC and some pretty awesome people and in a random threaded on porn I learned about the book Willie promotes obnoxiously (his words note mine).
That book, along with praying, getting closer to God overall, and some awesome people God brought into my life, brought me to a point of understanding WHO I am and what I, through the power Christ gives me, am honestly capable of.
Because God offered me grace...I can live without constant guilt, I can exercise self control, I realize that on a daily (or maybe hourly..heck on a minute by minute) basis I can take my thoughts captive and I OWN THEM.
I don't have to run around looking at the ground, snap a rubber band on my wrist, or pray I just see no females.
I am far from perfection...but for really the first time in my life I feel capable of emotion and love. I feel capable of looking at the heart of a person and seeing more than a body that is attractive. The last pornographic image I looked at...all I saw was her eyes. And how sad they looked. I see my girlfriend in an entirely different light. She is worth loving. She is worth protecting.
Annnnnnnnd I said ALL that to say this...You can scream diversion, you can tell people not to look, you can lock down anything and everything...but..until you honestly get people to understand that Christ died to provide grace that allows us to live a victorious life you aren't SOLVING anything at all.
sheesh...that was a really huge giant wall of text Sorry for the thread spam but I really felt like I should post that.
The cardboard butterfly illustration is good. Its accurate in my opinion. If you're simple trying to understand
what porn actually does...its a good description.
Also... this part "Let’s say, for example, that you just got done with a 10 mile run on a hot day. You come inside and there are two glasses of water on the kitchen table. One is regular water from the tap; the other is salt water. Both look the same. Both are water. But while one glass will hydrate your body, the other will leave you more dehydrated than before. And over time, while regular water will keep you alive, drinking only salt water would kill you faster than if you drank nothing at all." this...it good.
For me its a very accurate description of what pornography did to my life. It was salt water. And it nearly destroyed my life. According to some people, it did. Well, porn and the promiscuity that came along with it.
NOW...Since I've been positive for a little but I'm going to come out with the negative
For starters "porn" is a broad term. I don't really think a lot of people realize how easy inappropriate images are to access.
Never in my life have I sat down and watched a porn flick start to finish. But I couldn't even begin to number the images that I've accessed. If you're a parent and your kid has snapchat, delete it
There are other programs similar...I've personally used snapchat and kik to avoid texting and having a traceable trail. Its also super easy to hide apps and lock down images on nearly any smart phone. Computers aren't as easy to me because that wasn't what I used. And secondly, as long as I can remember I've heard people who were "shocked", "horrified", and over all condescending
(NOT directing this at the OP, at all...this is a generalized statement) about this "problem". I've heard everything from
just don't look, look away, lock the internet, don't let the internet in your home (directed at parents), and my personal
favorite...Always know what you teen is doing! If you watch them enough they cant get into "trouble".
While most of these ideas are generally well meaning they are really way off base. Personally, as a parent I will ALWAYS
restrict what my kid can access online. I'm not diminishing that idea at all. But...over sheltering TEENAGERS
isn't going to work when in reality a lot of kids are well on their way to addicted or are addicted long before their teen years.
My first porn experience was before my 8th birthday. I was addicted (as in DAILY usage) before my 11th birthday.
My mom found it. Put on internet filters, had my grandpa put the flat out fear of God in me, acted insanely horrified,
had mortifying long talks about it over the next 3-4 years...but nothing really did any good. Because nothing changed.
Her filter did nothing. In the moment I assured myself and usually whomever cornered me...it would NEVER happen again.
But there it was later. I don't say this in a bragging "Look how smart I am" way...its just reality. Most of your kids can predict passwords, and out technology you. If that sounds disrespectful I honestly and totally do NOT mean it to...I'm just being honest.
Anyways, the cycle of "NOPE never happening again" and failing led me to a point where I didn't care.
I decided that obviously I wasn't really capable of stopping and the shocked and (usually) condescending attitudes of people trying to "help" left me feeling unfixable. Totally unfixable. And unlovable, unforgivable, and unworthy. I had a couple accountability buddies, I got grounded, I TRIED...in my power to fix myself (while hearing how TRYING is a cop out...just do it). But while I tried to fix it...it just kept eating at me. It became my gateway to sex...because porn stopped being enough. And it took control of almost every area of my life.
Until God convicted me. It went beyond the "this is wrong and I shouldn't do it" feeling and went to "Oh God...I'm going to vomit, cry, and maybe die now". Once He took me there I looked for help. I looked to the Bible, I dodged every image I could, I broke up with my girlfriend, I worked on me and I prayed my heart out when the temptation came my way....and still...I was there. I wanted to stop but I didn't, I hesitate to say I COULDNT but it was just so easy to get to
and I didn't. My late night attempts to avoid online porn actually brought me to CC and some pretty awesome people and in a random threaded on porn I learned about the book Willie promotes obnoxiously (his words note mine
).That book, along with praying, getting closer to God overall, and some awesome people God brought into my life, brought me to a point of understanding WHO I am and what I, through the power Christ gives me, am honestly capable of.
Because God offered me grace...I can live without constant guilt, I can exercise self control, I realize that on a daily (or maybe hourly..heck on a minute by minute) basis I can take my thoughts captive and I OWN THEM.
I don't have to run around looking at the ground, snap a rubber band on my wrist, or pray I just see no females.
I am far from perfection...but for really the first time in my life I feel capable of emotion and love. I feel capable of looking at the heart of a person and seeing more than a body that is attractive. The last pornographic image I looked at...all I saw was her eyes. And how sad they looked. I see my girlfriend in an entirely different light. She is worth loving. She is worth protecting.
Annnnnnnnd I said ALL that to say this...You can scream diversion, you can tell people not to look, you can lock down anything and everything...but..until you honestly get people to understand that Christ died to provide grace that allows us to live a victorious life you aren't SOLVING anything at all.
sheesh...that was a really huge giant wall of text
Sorry for the thread spam but I really felt like I should post that.We will have to agree to disagree, because I've known guys who struggled with it, and when they got to the heart of why they did, they could get onto a path towards healing. And they were then willing to find healthier ways of dealing with the temptations towards lust and escaping from their problems into porn. Everyone is different, and so is everyone's struggles.
But asking someone to stop their addiction without figuring out why they are addicted, is like going to the doctor and expecting him to heal you without knowing your symptoms.
But asking someone to stop their addiction without figuring out why they are addicted, is like going to the doctor and expecting him to heal you without knowing your symptoms.
You agree with her VVillie, Jon himself speaks about Holy Spirit's solution by going through past memories and the lies that he received from them. Then the Lord revealed how he should've received those experiences and the truth of the matter. The Lord went to the root of lust and why it is being entertained (much deeper than just stopping the viewing of porn, which is a scapegoat).
I find your disagreement baffling when the book you like to recommend offers a similar solution. There is a root to the problem, in the case of Jon he references lies he has received and believed and the Lord then addressing those lies.
I find your disagreement baffling when the book you like to recommend offers a similar solution. There is a root to the problem, in the case of Jon he references lies he has received and believed and the Lord then addressing those lies.
Ok, I have a few issues if this article and there are a few things I like. I'll start with what I like.
The cardboard butterfly illustration is good. Its accurate in my opinion. If you're simple trying to understand
what porn actually does...its a good description.
Also... this part "Let’s say, for example, that you just got done with a 10 mile run on a hot day. You come inside and there are two glasses of water on the kitchen table. One is regular water from the tap; the other is salt water. Both look the same. Both are water. But while one glass will hydrate your body, the other will leave you more dehydrated than before. And over time, while regular water will keep you alive, drinking only salt water would kill you faster than if you drank nothing at all." this...it good.
For me its a very accurate description of what pornography did to my life. It was salt water. And it nearly destroyed my life. According to some people, it did. Well, porn and the promiscuity that came along with it.
NOW...Since I've been positive for a little but I'm going to come out with the negative
For starters "porn" is a broad term. I don't really think a lot of people realize how easy inappropriate images are to access.
Never in my life have I sat down and watched a porn flick start to finish. But I couldn't even begin to number the images that I've accessed. If you're a parent and your kid has snapchat, delete it There are other programs similar...I've personally used snapchat and kik to avoid texting and having a traceable trail. Its also super easy to hide apps and lock down images on nearly any smart phone. Computers aren't as easy to me because that wasn't what I used.
And secondly, as long as I can remember I've heard people who were "shocked", "horrified", and over all condescending
(NOT directing this at the OP, at all...this is a generalized statement) about this "problem". I've heard everything from
just don't look, look away, lock the internet, don't let the internet in your home (directed at parents), and my personal
favorite...Always know what you teen is doing! If you watch them enough they cant get into "trouble".
While most of these ideas are generally well meaning they are really way off base. Personally, as a parent I will ALWAYS
restrict what my kid can access online. I'm not diminishing that idea at all. But...over sheltering TEENAGERS
isn't going to work when in reality a lot of kids are well on their way to addicted or are addicted long before their teen years.
My first porn experience was before my 8th birthday. I was addicted (as in DAILY usage) before my 11th birthday.
My mom found it. Put on internet filters, had my grandpa put the flat out fear of God in me, acted insanely horrified,
had mortifying long talks about it over the next 3-4 years...but nothing really did any good. Because nothing changed.
Her filter did nothing. In the moment I assured myself and usually whomever cornered me...it would NEVER happen again.
But there it was later. I don't say this in a bragging "Look how smart I am" way...its just reality. Most of your kids can predict passwords, and out technology you. If that sounds disrespectful I honestly and totally do NOT mean it to...I'm just being honest.
Anyways, the cycle of "NOPE never happening again" and failing led me to a point where I didn't care.
I decided that obviously I wasn't really capable of stopping and the shocked and (usually) condescending attitudes of people trying to "help" left me feeling unfixable. Totally unfixable. And unlovable, unforgivable, and unworthy. I had a couple accountability buddies, I got grounded, I TRIED...in my power to fix myself (while hearing how TRYING is a cop out...just do it). But while I tried to fix it...it just kept eating at me. It became my gateway to sex...because porn stopped being enough. And it took control of almost every area of my life.
Until God convicted me. It went beyond the "this is wrong and I shouldn't do it" feeling and went to "Oh God...I'm going to vomit, cry, and maybe die now". Once He took me there I looked for help. I looked to the Bible, I dodged every image I could, I broke up with my girlfriend, I worked on me and I prayed my heart out when the temptation came my way....and still...I was there. I wanted to stop but I didn't, I hesitate to say I COULDNT but it was just so easy to get to
and I didn't. My late night attempts to avoid online porn actually brought me to CC and some pretty awesome people and in a random threaded on porn I learned about the book Willie promotes obnoxiously (his words note mine).
That book, along with praying, getting closer to God overall, and some awesome people God brought into my life, brought me to a point of understanding WHO I am and what I, through the power Christ gives me, am honestly capable of.
Because God offered me grace...I can live without constant guilt, I can exercise self control, I realize that on a daily (or maybe hourly..heck on a minute by minute) basis I can take my thoughts captive and I OWN THEM.
I don't have to run around looking at the ground, snap a rubber band on my wrist, or pray I just see no females.
I am far from perfection...but for really the first time in my life I feel capable of emotion and love. I feel capable of looking at the heart of a person and seeing more than a body that is attractive. The last pornographic image I looked at...all I saw was her eyes. And how sad they looked. I see my girlfriend in an entirely different light. She is worth loving. She is worth protecting.
Annnnnnnnd I said ALL that to say this...You can scream diversion, you can tell people not to look, you can lock down anything and everything...but..until you honestly get people to understand that Christ died to provide grace that allows us to live a victorious life you aren't SOLVING anything at all.
sheesh...that was a really huge giant wall of text Sorry for the thread spam but I really felt like I should post that.
The cardboard butterfly illustration is good. Its accurate in my opinion. If you're simple trying to understand
what porn actually does...its a good description.
Also... this part "Let’s say, for example, that you just got done with a 10 mile run on a hot day. You come inside and there are two glasses of water on the kitchen table. One is regular water from the tap; the other is salt water. Both look the same. Both are water. But while one glass will hydrate your body, the other will leave you more dehydrated than before. And over time, while regular water will keep you alive, drinking only salt water would kill you faster than if you drank nothing at all." this...it good.
For me its a very accurate description of what pornography did to my life. It was salt water. And it nearly destroyed my life. According to some people, it did. Well, porn and the promiscuity that came along with it.
NOW...Since I've been positive for a little but I'm going to come out with the negative
For starters "porn" is a broad term. I don't really think a lot of people realize how easy inappropriate images are to access.
Never in my life have I sat down and watched a porn flick start to finish. But I couldn't even begin to number the images that I've accessed. If you're a parent and your kid has snapchat, delete it
There are other programs similar...I've personally used snapchat and kik to avoid texting and having a traceable trail. Its also super easy to hide apps and lock down images on nearly any smart phone. Computers aren't as easy to me because that wasn't what I used. And secondly, as long as I can remember I've heard people who were "shocked", "horrified", and over all condescending
(NOT directing this at the OP, at all...this is a generalized statement) about this "problem". I've heard everything from
just don't look, look away, lock the internet, don't let the internet in your home (directed at parents), and my personal
favorite...Always know what you teen is doing! If you watch them enough they cant get into "trouble".
While most of these ideas are generally well meaning they are really way off base. Personally, as a parent I will ALWAYS
restrict what my kid can access online. I'm not diminishing that idea at all. But...over sheltering TEENAGERS
isn't going to work when in reality a lot of kids are well on their way to addicted or are addicted long before their teen years.
My first porn experience was before my 8th birthday. I was addicted (as in DAILY usage) before my 11th birthday.
My mom found it. Put on internet filters, had my grandpa put the flat out fear of God in me, acted insanely horrified,
had mortifying long talks about it over the next 3-4 years...but nothing really did any good. Because nothing changed.
Her filter did nothing. In the moment I assured myself and usually whomever cornered me...it would NEVER happen again.
But there it was later. I don't say this in a bragging "Look how smart I am" way...its just reality. Most of your kids can predict passwords, and out technology you. If that sounds disrespectful I honestly and totally do NOT mean it to...I'm just being honest.
Anyways, the cycle of "NOPE never happening again" and failing led me to a point where I didn't care.
I decided that obviously I wasn't really capable of stopping and the shocked and (usually) condescending attitudes of people trying to "help" left me feeling unfixable. Totally unfixable. And unlovable, unforgivable, and unworthy. I had a couple accountability buddies, I got grounded, I TRIED...in my power to fix myself (while hearing how TRYING is a cop out...just do it). But while I tried to fix it...it just kept eating at me. It became my gateway to sex...because porn stopped being enough. And it took control of almost every area of my life.
Until God convicted me. It went beyond the "this is wrong and I shouldn't do it" feeling and went to "Oh God...I'm going to vomit, cry, and maybe die now". Once He took me there I looked for help. I looked to the Bible, I dodged every image I could, I broke up with my girlfriend, I worked on me and I prayed my heart out when the temptation came my way....and still...I was there. I wanted to stop but I didn't, I hesitate to say I COULDNT but it was just so easy to get to
and I didn't. My late night attempts to avoid online porn actually brought me to CC and some pretty awesome people and in a random threaded on porn I learned about the book Willie promotes obnoxiously (his words note mine
).That book, along with praying, getting closer to God overall, and some awesome people God brought into my life, brought me to a point of understanding WHO I am and what I, through the power Christ gives me, am honestly capable of.
Because God offered me grace...I can live without constant guilt, I can exercise self control, I realize that on a daily (or maybe hourly..heck on a minute by minute) basis I can take my thoughts captive and I OWN THEM.
I don't have to run around looking at the ground, snap a rubber band on my wrist, or pray I just see no females.
I am far from perfection...but for really the first time in my life I feel capable of emotion and love. I feel capable of looking at the heart of a person and seeing more than a body that is attractive. The last pornographic image I looked at...all I saw was her eyes. And how sad they looked. I see my girlfriend in an entirely different light. She is worth loving. She is worth protecting.
Annnnnnnnd I said ALL that to say this...You can scream diversion, you can tell people not to look, you can lock down anything and everything...but..until you honestly get people to understand that Christ died to provide grace that allows us to live a victorious life you aren't SOLVING anything at all.
sheesh...that was a really huge giant wall of text
Sorry for the thread spam but I really felt like I should post that.
It scares me that pornography is so accessible. Especially since I have a ten and 11 year old. My Son wants a TV and computer in his room. We've told him no. We don't have a home computer right now and when we get one it's going to be for everyone. I know he And my Daughter can still access this stuff.
A friend of my Husbands, his 11 year old daughter was sending and receiving naked selfies of themselves to each other. He opened up her phone and found tons of pictures from boys and pictures she had sent of herself to them. I can't imagine how horrible it would be to find something like that.
Corbin your post was really eye opening to me, thank you for sharing.
A friend of my Husbands, his 11 year old daughter was sending and receiving naked selfies of themselves to each other. He opened up her phone and found tons of pictures from boys and pictures she had sent of herself to them. I can't imagine how horrible it would be to find something like that.
Corbin your post was really eye opening to me, thank you for sharing.
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