I'm drained out. I feel weak and I'm just plain out tired of doing "good."
I grew up in a household where my parents taught me to stay quiet when people talk smack about you or about your siblings. We were also taught that we should always forgive and continue to do good even when people are mean to us.
I understand the things my parents taught us are the words in the scriptures. To always stay humble and turn your other cheek but sometimes it's too much.
I feel so heartbroken whenever my own aunts or uncles disrespect my parents and siblings. I can't even stand up for them or myself!
They always step on us and treat my parents like a piece of carpet. They're only nice to us when they need help financially or physically whether it's to use our strength to help them move their couches or money wise.
It has always been like this from day one. As I'm getting older, I realize the ugly truth and flaw within this chaotic and toxic family.
I always thought my aunts and uncles are the ones who love us because we're one big family but I was WRONG! They don't. They just use us and when they no longer need our help, they start to act all different. It hurts so much.
It's effecting me spiritually, mentally, and physically to the point where I'm slowly beginning to numb myself with bitterness. I'm sad to say this but the love of Christ within me is flickering away.
As I'm typing this, I can't help but cry because I know this isn't who I am.
I am a daughter of God but why do I hate doing good to people who don't deserve it. It pains me inside.
How am I supposed to love them...God...answer me.
I grew up in a household where my parents taught me to stay quiet when people talk smack about you or about your siblings. We were also taught that we should always forgive and continue to do good even when people are mean to us.
I understand the things my parents taught us are the words in the scriptures. To always stay humble and turn your other cheek but sometimes it's too much.
I feel so heartbroken whenever my own aunts or uncles disrespect my parents and siblings. I can't even stand up for them or myself!
They always step on us and treat my parents like a piece of carpet. They're only nice to us when they need help financially or physically whether it's to use our strength to help them move their couches or money wise.
It has always been like this from day one. As I'm getting older, I realize the ugly truth and flaw within this chaotic and toxic family.
I always thought my aunts and uncles are the ones who love us because we're one big family but I was WRONG! They don't. They just use us and when they no longer need our help, they start to act all different. It hurts so much.
It's effecting me spiritually, mentally, and physically to the point where I'm slowly beginning to numb myself with bitterness. I'm sad to say this but the love of Christ within me is flickering away.
As I'm typing this, I can't help but cry because I know this isn't who I am.
I am a daughter of God but why do I hate doing good to people who don't deserve it. It pains me inside.
How am I supposed to love them...God...answer me.