Jesus Im sorry. Im trying to trust in you. Im trying not to let this bother me. It hurts. Im sorry for when I entertained the idea of getting a divorce and finding someone else. I confess I did not trust your Word and be forgiving and understanding towards her. I am so miserable at my job that I made it the counterpoint of my life. I was not content. I was torn between wanting to get a new one and serving you and angry at you because my wife was not on board and because I could not find another job. Im so depressed. I worry Lord. I want to give up and yet I don't want to give up. Im tired. My body is tired. I confess it was my fault because I never should have taken a job like this. You blessed me with a wife. I did not lead as a christian husband should. My heart needs changing. I lack love, gentleness, compassion, and understanding. I am selfish and self seeking. Please speak to me Jesus. Please let me hear your voice or have a sign that you are near to me. I have found it so hard to trust your Word. It hurts. The mess I made of life hurts. I am ashamed of my past. i am sorry for all the masks of acting like I was a super Christian. I am not. I confess in rebellion and anger I looked at porn and sought to have an affair. I was angry at her and at you. I deserve my punishment. I entertained the thoughts that someone else could make me happy. I confess I have failed to find joy in You alone Jesus. I am a sinner. I have sinned against you Jesus.