Does this sound like it would work in helping me to get a girlfriend?

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dothackzero

dothackzero

Banned
#1
May 4, 2009
1,534
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#1
Okay, so my anixity is finally going away so now I concentrate on more important things like finding a girlfriend.

So yeah, I got a new idea that hopefully help out with social anxiety or atleast my social skill. I was thinking of asking my friends to ask a girl that they know of and have them let that girl know that I need help with conversational skills(since they really do suck) and ask her to help me by having trying to have a normal conversation me. Does that sound like it'll work?
 
H

HI

Guest
#2
#2
dothackzero said:
Okay, so my anixity is finally going away so now I concentrate on more important things like finding a girlfriend.

So yeah, I got a new idea that hopefully help out with social anxiety or atleast my social skill. I was thinking of asking my friends to ask a girl that they know of and have them let that girl know that I need help with conversational skills(since they really do suck) and ask her to help me by having trying to have a normal conversation me. Does that sound like it'll work?
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And then maybe she will fall in love with you cause she'll love how you are socially awkward on the outside but a very sweet, sensible, strong man in the inside? And since all women want a man they can fix, you'll be the perfect candidate...

Yeah, I can see it working
 
Johnoble

Johnoble

Member
#3
Apr 24, 2009
76
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#3
It could work, it's not ideal though. You don't want a girl to get to know your weakness before she gets to know you at all, but it's a start and who knows, maybe she's a kind girl who indeed wants to help you. If a friend came out and told me that this girl wants to talk to me but feels she is too shy to do it I wouldn't go like "I'm never talking to this socially broken girl, let her learn by her own" I would just go and talk to her, listen to what she has to say, shy people most times are the most interesting and have a lot to say. So try it, you don't have a thing to loose.
 
dothackzero

dothackzero

Banned
#4
May 4, 2009
1,534
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#4
The problem is that I never know what to say...
 
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blesstena

Guest
#5
#5
i will say try it,it might work :).good luck.
 
dothackzero

dothackzero

Banned
#6
May 4, 2009
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#6
The other problem is that the girl that would probably work out the best is that girl is one of my best friends ex girlfriend. And they only broke up on wensday.They still are friends though...
 
C

ChristianGuru

Guest
#7
#7
I say do it. Have a friend grab a girl for you and talk to her. Use it as training wheels for as long as you need it. Push through your stumbling blocks.

You also never replied to my private message dude, come on :D
 
zeroturbulence

zeroturbulence

Senior Member
#8
Aug 2, 2009
24,581
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#8
Won't she be a little bit suspicious? I mean won't she wonder why SHE is the one that needs to help you?
 
K

kiwi_OT

Guest
#9
#9
dothackzero said:
The problem is that I never know what to say...
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Why dont you join a connect group (home bible study group) that you know have a few females. Its awesome that you think your improving but I still think your not going at it with the right angle. Run for Jesus as much as you can first then the girlfriend comes ok? You still sound like your fully reliant on a relationship with a female rather than with God to motivate you in life.
Say you get a girlfriend tomorrow who adores you and eventually wants to marry you. Are you ready to lead as a man, understanding first the gospel and knowing how to make your marriage look like an illustration of that? Are you prepared economically for a wife?

You should stop looking for a girlfriend. What you should be doing is preparing as a husband. And no godly intelligent woman will marry you unless your relationship with Jesus is being worked on. Secondly, if you havent done so already, move out and get your own place. Get a steady job and start saving for a downpayment on a house. Doing that tells God that you trust in him to provide the wife while you work and pray and seek godly men to give you some advice. Once you find some godly men, talk to their wives and get info from them about women, they know what their on about and older women can help you in finding a girl for you.
 
T

Tegelik

Guest
#10
#10
kiwi_OT said:
Why dont you join a connect group (home bible study group) that you know have a few females. Its awesome that you think your improving but I still think your not going at it with the right angle. Run for Jesus as much as you can first then the girlfriend comes ok? You still sound like your fully reliant on a relationship with a female rather than with God to motivate you in life.
Say you get a girlfriend tomorrow who adores you and eventually wants to marry you. Are you ready to lead as a man, understanding first the gospel and knowing how to make your marriage look like an illustration of that? Are you prepared economically for a wife?

You should stop looking for a girlfriend. What you should be doing is preparing as a husband. And no godly intelligent woman will marry you unless your relationship with Jesus is being worked on. Secondly, if you havent done so already, move out and get your own place. Get a steady job and start saving for a downpayment on a house. Doing that tells God that you trust in him to provide the wife while you work and pray and seek godly men to give you some advice. Once you find some godly men, talk to their wives and get info from them about women, they know what their on about and older women can help you in finding a girl for you.
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He just want's a girlfriend. I don't think you can make definite conclusions about his relationship with God or what motivates him in life.

Dothackzero, don't worry about not knowing what to say. I think a lot people have the same problem, I know I do. So what if you don't know what to say. It won't make the girl like you less.
 
dothackzero

dothackzero

Banned
#11
May 4, 2009
1,534
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#11
kiwi_OT said:
Why dont you join a connect group (home bible study group) that you know have a few females. Its awesome that you think your improving but I still think your not going at it with the right angle. Run for Jesus as much as you can first then the girlfriend comes ok? You still sound like your fully reliant on a relationship with a female rather than with God to motivate you in life.
Say you get a girlfriend tomorrow who adores you and eventually wants to marry you. Are you ready to lead as a man, understanding first the gospel and knowing how to make your marriage look like an illustration of that? Are you prepared economically for a wife?
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I'm already going to a Bible Study, Prayer Group(sorta, still deciding on it.), church, and church for people my age. I'm still not getting anywhere. Also I am working on my relationship with God.
 
dothackzero

dothackzero

Banned
#12
May 4, 2009
1,534
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#12
So would it work any better I trying to have convo with diffrent girls? All 3 of them from the bible Study I goto.
 
dothackzero

dothackzero

Banned
#13
May 4, 2009
1,534
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#13
Never mind the last post. This one is it important.

Okay so my best friend broke up with his girlfriend because God told to him to do(Because of being unequaly yoked). The problem is that his ex girlfriend is the one I want to help me out with my conversational skill. Since she's the most like the type of girl I'd be looking for so it should also help me out with social anxiety with girls and conversational skills. Do you think my friend would get mad at me if I asked about what I'm planning?
 
D

DABEARS85

Guest
#14
#14
dothackzero said:
Never mind the last post. This one is it important.

Okay so my best friend broke up with his girlfriend because God told to him to do(Because of being unequaly yoked). The problem is that his ex girlfriend is the one I want to help me out with my conversational skill. Since she's the most like the type of girl I'd be looking for so it should also help me out with social anxiety with girls and conversational skills. Do you think my friend would get mad at me if I asked about what I'm planning?
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It is quite possible, yes. He could misread it as an intention to get involved with her and maker her YOUR girlfriend...
 
R

Rissa77

Guest
#16
#16
Yikes. I've been on the flip side, Brian, of a girl wanting to date the guy I had been interested in or sort-of-dated, and I didn't handle it to well. She wasn't such a great person and I was bitter against her for the longest time, mainly because she did this not to one guy in my life, but TWO! She's saved now and I'm just now starting to let go of it, but man it's been a long time. A lot of hurt involved. He may not react well. Especially with it being so soon. And even if he seems cool with it, he may struggle with bitterness at some degree himself. I didn't think I would, but I did. At the least, it'll be awkward for a while. lol And if he is bitter, that is something he will need to deal with. My saying this is just to let you know you'll have some finessing to do with this situation. You don't want to make things worse than they could be.
 
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dothackzero

dothackzero

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#17
May 4, 2009
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#17
I never said anything about dating her, I'm basically just asking her for help. Though we probably would become friends in the prosses, but I'm not interested in her as more than a friend.
 
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Rissa77

Guest
#18
#18
lol okay... in that case, the thread topic is a bit misleading.
 
dothackzero

dothackzero

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#19
May 4, 2009
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#19
I keep changing my mine on the point of the topic. :p

So do you think he'd get mad at me?
 
R

Rissa77

Guest
#20
#20
He may, he may not. He may seem cool, but then not be honest about how he feels. It could hurt your friendship, or he may not care.

It depends on how his relationship with her was, how it ended, and how he still thinks of her. It also depends on your relationship with him and how much he trusts you. Then it depends on what your relationship with her has been. Because you seeking her now may make him question your intentions while they were dating. But first of all it depends on his relationship with God as to how he'll deal with any feelings that rise up.

Telling us the details though still won't cut it. We don't know what really is going on here. It's not as simple as getting advice from a third party. You really need to pray about it and get God's direction. And if His direction is a yes, then He'll also show you how to finesse the situation.
 
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