The Match Game (CORRECTED)

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Select if you agree:


  • Total voters
    26
J

Jullianna

Guest
#1
The more we learn, the more questions we have, amen? :)
 
J

Jullianna

Guest
#2
There are a couple of typos, but at least it works! haha Sorry about the other one. Hopefully, they can delete it.

Have you ever looked at a couple that's been together a long time and wondered what they ever had in common or what attracted them to one another? Have you ever looked at a couple and thought one of them was awesome and the other seemed to be a total jerk, and wondered how their marriage has lasted?

God knows just what we need and what we have to give to someone else. He knows our strengths and our weaknesses, as well as those of the one we want to be with. Even the hidden parts and scars. He knows what will work and what won't. I want to trust Him with that no matter what I want....
 

seoulsearch

OutWrite Trouble
May 23, 2009
15,072
4,639
113
#3
Wow, Jullianna... Your polls are awesome and very inspiring... but, as usual, there are so many interesting choices, I'm unsure of what to choose!
 

Liamson

Senior Member
Feb 3, 2010
3,078
69
48
#4
I ''want'' to be around her all the time but, I ''NEED'' my time/space.

I want her to share all of my interests but, its not a big deal.

If I love her, I will change for her, if only merely for the sake of improving myself. If I love her, it it because I have always loved her and would not ask her to change that for me.

Lasting relationships... I suppose I could go either way but, I prefer shared interests. It makes pushing each other to be better at what we love easier. =)


The last four were good. I believe that Love is a feeling but, a feeling that cannot be ignored. Love is also Holy Bond, that is where the feeling comes from. It is like having a secret language between each other and knowing that we have the rest of our lives to explore it.

Its not an infatuation or even an obsession. You you adore someone and do not value the relationship you have with that person, you are just a fan.

I don't believe this kind of Love is a choice, rather this kind of Love chooses us. If we choose but, do not feel, I think we are trying to convince ourselves in our mind that this is right. I think that is dangerous, because Love needs nothing to speak on its behalf. Love cannot be made out of thin air to achieve the aim we desire for it. Love goes where it belongs. It does not want for things. It does not ask what is not becoming of it. It does not fight, to cause strife. It does not seek for itself.

True love is worth nothing short of everything. What is easy is not valuable and what is valuable is not easy but, Love Conquers All.
 

grace

Senior Member
Sep 8, 2006
1,064
11
0
51
#5
I ''want'' to be around her all the time but, I ''NEED'' my time/space.

I want her to share all of my interests but, its not a big deal.

If I love her, I will change for her, if only merely for the sake of improving myself. If I love her, it it because I have always loved her and would not ask her to change that for me.

Lasting relationships... I suppose I could go either way but, I prefer shared interests. It makes pushing each other to be better at what we love easier. =)


The last four were good. I believe that Love is a feeling but, a feeling that cannot be ignored. Love is also Holy Bond, that is where the feeling comes from. It is like having a secret language between each other and knowing that we have the rest of our lives to explore it.

Its not an infatuation or even an obsession. You you adore someone and do not value the relationship you have with that person, you are just a fan.

I don't believe this kind of Love is a choice, rather this kind of Love chooses us. If we choose but, do not feel, I think we are trying to convince ourselves in our mind that this is right. I think that is dangerous, because Love needs nothing to speak on its behalf. Love cannot be made out of thin air to achieve the aim we desire for it. Love goes where it belongs. It does not want for things. It does not ask what is not becoming of it. It does not fight, to cause strife. It does not seek for itself.

True love is worth nothing short of everything. What is easy is not valuable and what is valuable is not easy but, Love Conquers All.

Once again, you have nailed it. Well thought out, and well written. :)
 
T

thimsrebma

Guest
#6
The last one got me thinking... Is love a choice. I dont think that it is. How you express love is a choice. Some people do not know haow to express it the way God says it looks like. Some people have never seen it that way. That doesnt mean that they don't love.

Also I think if you love someone then you will change for them. Not because they force you to or give you an ultimatum, but because their love somehow changes some of your traits and how you respond to life.
 

seoulsearch

OutWrite Trouble
May 23, 2009
15,072
4,639
113
#7
The last one got me thinking... Is love a choice. I dont think that it is. How you express love is a choice. Some people do not know haow to express it the way God says it looks like. Some people have never seen it that way. That doesnt mean that they don't love.

Also I think if you love someone then you will change for them. Not because they force you to or give you an ultimatum, but because their love somehow changes some of your traits and how you respond to life.

I've been taught that love is a choice because you choose how you react to certain situations when the person you love disappoints you or things don't go the way you expect. God loves us because of who He is, not who we are. God loves us when we did not love Him. He chose to send His Son, He chooses to not give up on us.

I'm thinking of examples of someone whose child or spouse becomes a drug addict... the war veteran who comes home, and is missing a limb or is suffering through serious mental trauma when he or she comes home... the spouse who develops cancer...

In today's world, "love" is--What's best for ME? And in most cases... the world will tell you to leave the one you loved, and find someone who makes "you" happy.

But this is not what God says about love. He says... you make a commitment, you stay with it, and you choose to keep on loving them, despite what life may throw at you. Continuing to love... staying on in adversity... even when you don't feel like it, because there are probably times you wont... is a choice.
 

Liamson

Senior Member
Feb 3, 2010
3,078
69
48
#8
I've been taught that love is a choice because you choose how you react to certain situations when the person you love disappoints you or things don't go the way you expect. God loves us because of who He is, not who we are. God loves us when we did not love Him. He chose to send His Son, He chooses to not give up on us.

I'm thinking of examples of someone whose child or spouse becomes a drug addict... the war veteran who comes home, and is missing a limb or is suffering through serious mental trauma when he or she comes home... the spouse who develops cancer...

In today's world, "love" is--What's best for ME? And in most cases... the world will tell you to leave the one you loved, and find someone who makes "you" happy.

But this is not what God says about love. He says... you make a commitment, you stay with it, and you choose to keep on loving them, despite what life may throw at you. Continuing to love... staying on in adversity... even when you don't feel like it, because there are probably times you wont... is a choice.
If Love was merely a choice, arranged marriages would be more popular.

If a person gets into a bad dating relationship should they choose to continue because they have the ability to choose to love this person, whether or not it is right?

I understand where you are coming from but, if we are talking about Marriage, then we are beyond choosing to love someone. Love is already there, and it ''endures all things, believes all things, hopes all things.'' If I get the traditional vows, I have promised that ''in sickness and in health'' I would fulfill my duty to my wife to Love her. If she is in a car accident and becomes forever a burnt paralyzed hulk of charredness and blinky eyes, I would still love her with all my heart. This for me is as far from a choice, as the I had a choice in my own birth.
 
E

Eliseeee

Guest
#9
Jullianna makes the best polls...just sayin
 

seoulsearch

OutWrite Trouble
May 23, 2009
15,072
4,639
113
#10
If Love was merely a choice, arranged marriages would be more popular.

If a person gets into a bad dating relationship should they choose to continue because they have the ability to choose to love this person, whether or not it is right?

I understand where you are coming from but, if we are talking about Marriage, then we are beyond choosing to love someone. Love is already there, and it ''endures all things, believes all things, hopes all things.'' If I get the traditional vows, I have promised that ''in sickness and in health'' I would fulfill my duty to my wife to Love her. If she is in a car accident and becomes forever a burnt paralyzed hulk of charredness and blinky eyes, I would still love her with all my heart. This for me is as far from a choice, as the I had a choice in my own birth.

Arranged marriages still are popular in some places, just not this part of the world. I have a dear friend and mentor who had an arranged marriage, and for them, it worked out much better than many other people who marry the person they themselves choose.

Of course, I don't think arranged marriages are for everyone either (unless, of course, everyone believes in having God arrange their marriage, but I think most times, we choose whom we choose instead of letting God choose.)

I was reading about this the other day... a pastor who wrote that he said he's had many a couple in his office for pre-marital counseling and he asks each of them if they truly believe God is bringing their union together. Sometimes they'll be sure... sometimes one will be sure but the other isn't... sometimes they'll say, "Oh yes, this is absolutely whom God has for me," but if the pastor has a bad feeling about it, he won't marry them.

So of course, what do most couples do? Back off, wait for God? Nope. They just find someone else to marry them.
 

grace

Senior Member
Sep 8, 2006
1,064
11
0
51
#11
I think that where the difference lies is that you may not feel love towards someone, but you will still choose to be loving.

Although I remained very faithful to my husband, and to God trusting that He could indeed turn circumstances around for our marriage...I, in all honesty did not feel the bond of love towards my husband...but I was very commited to be loving towards him through strength in Christ.

 

Liamson

Senior Member
Feb 3, 2010
3,078
69
48
#13
I think that where the difference lies is that you may not feel love towards someone, but you will still choose to be loving.

Although I remained very faithful to my husband, and to God trusting that He could indeed turn circumstances around for our marriage...I, in all honesty did not feel the bond of love towards my husband...but I was very commited to be loving towards him through strength in Christ.

You did not feel a bond of Love, when you married him or a little while later?

I don't mean to be insulting but when you say that you loved him through strength in Christ, that sounds awful. Like if I was in Iran getting Stoned I would think it would be a Through the Strength of Christ thing but, not Marriage.

Now I admit, I have never been married but, as the poll shows, my answers are in the minority of a lot of categories. I can't imagine having a best friend, someone who's shared the world with me, feel so Obligated about it.
 

grace

Senior Member
Sep 8, 2006
1,064
11
0
51
#14
Well, I am not sure how to explain it any better...but if you are in an abusive marriage, I guess it could feel like you are being stones to death? (only using that example because you did)

I did feel the bond of love when I married him...but he really was not a nice man, and as time went on..well, I still wanted to strive to honor him in our marriage but found it difficult if it were not because of Christ.

Sorry if I have not explained myself any better.
 
T

thimsrebma

Guest
#16
After hearing many stories about Love or the act of loving, I think it may be safe to say that you can choose to love someone and love can also just happen to you without you choosing it.
 
1

1still_waters

Guest
#17
Seems like marriage is about finding the balance between loving someone enough to lie and loving them enough to tell the truth.

Like if her jeans make her hind end look big and she asks. Then you might love enough to lie. lol
 
W

Warrior777

Guest
#18
Seems like marriage is about finding the balance between loving someone enough to lie and loving them enough to tell the truth.

Like if her jeans make her hind end look big and she asks. Then you might love enough to lie. lol
LIE about Jeans making s.o. "behind" look bigger?...and go to hell for that? NO WAY!
If you ask me a question, you will get an honest answer, may not be one you like but tough! or i might choose not to answer at all... which in most cases is an answer in itself...
Next time they will be more careful how they ask or not ask at all, if they don't like to be told the truth. If we cannot tell the one we love the truth about ourselves or themselves, then what kind of love or relationship is that?
If I ask an honest question, you better give me an honest answer. I know or sense if you don't and that brings distrust between people!
Always speak the truth! No matter what!
 
J

Jullianna

Guest
#19
Seems like marriage is about finding the balance between loving someone enough to lie and loving them enough to tell the truth.

Like if her jeans make her hind end look big and she asks. Then you might love enough to lie. lol
Just don't ever say, "Honey, it ain't the jeans." They're still looking for pieces of the last guy who made that mistake I think. :)
 
D

DanuckInUSA

Guest
#20
I wouldnt say that it is a balance. Honesty is the best policy.