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J
Because, as women, we are not raised to speak our minds and be honest with men about our feelings. Women who do are often deemed as unladylike or aggressive...or worse.
We're supposed to be dainty little flowers who sit properly with our ankles crossed, Bibles on our laps, until a guy gets up the courage to come and sit beside us and say hello.
Did I just type that out loud? Yes...Yes, I did
We're supposed to be dainty little flowers who sit properly with our ankles crossed, Bibles on our laps, until a guy gets up the courage to come and sit beside us and say hello.
Did I just type that out loud? Yes...Yes, I did
C
Because, as women, we are not raised to speak our minds and be honest with men about our feelings. Women who do are often deemed as unladylike or aggressive...or worse.
We're supposed to be dainty little flowers who sit properly with our ankles crossed, Bibles on our laps, until a guy gets up the courage to come and sit beside us and say hello.
Did I just type that out loud? Yes...Yes, I did
We're supposed to be dainty little flowers who sit properly with our ankles crossed, Bibles on our laps, until a guy gets up the courage to come and sit beside us and say hello.
Did I just type that out loud? Yes...Yes, I did
Yeah....
I
I'm going through some of that currently. I just don't speak "hint" and sometimes it's a problem. I speak "straightforward" and "truisms". That's often not appreciated, even though I do it sweetly. So for now, I'm looking for a woman with her ankles crossed, Bible on her lap, and maybe I'll have the courage to go and sit beside her and say hello.
U
Actually, its a natural born process in a woman's brain. Its not even an issue of being raised that way, as Julliana said, though that may reinforce it. But women, by nature, speak in hints and signs, but also women are naturally better at picking up and deciphering these things. For example, bypassing any specialized learning, by nature women read body language better than men, on average. They are speaking that way because its part of their makeup and its natural. They are likely not aware they do it, and are therefore not aware that men are not getting it.
Modern psychology encourages women to be more direct towards men, especially in a marriage situation. If you want your husband to take you on a date to a fancy restaurant, don't leave a magazine open to that page and expect him to piece together this mystery. Just tell him, hey i'd love to go to Che Snobby's this weekend, just the two of us *wink wink. That way, you can actually have a chance at going, instead of sitting home watching CSI reruns and eating microwave popcorn while your husband belches his way through a few sodas in his sweats.
Modern psychology encourages women to be more direct towards men, especially in a marriage situation. If you want your husband to take you on a date to a fancy restaurant, don't leave a magazine open to that page and expect him to piece together this mystery. Just tell him, hey i'd love to go to Che Snobby's this weekend, just the two of us *wink wink. That way, you can actually have a chance at going, instead of sitting home watching CSI reruns and eating microwave popcorn while your husband belches his way through a few sodas in his sweats.
G
ohhh I think i'm one of those strange women who doesnt speak "hint" either. I decided at a young age if someone wanted something from me or what everr (you know what i mean) If it was important enough they would come right out an tell me. If they only hinted about it, I ignored them.
I also make sure i don't mince words, or beat around the bush. I have been told that i walk where angels fear to tread...and I thought I was just saying what needed to be said.
On a bad note about that, I recently met a man who really needed a meal and a few dollars. I should have been sensitive to his needs, he wasnt the run of the meal beggar, he just happened to be in a tough situation for a day or two.
I went on my merry way, i let his "hints" go over my head....it wasnt till i was several miles away the spirit of conviction hit me..."Why didnt you feed that man?"
Everytime I think of that man I feel guilty, and i pray the Lord will bless him doubly because of my stupidity.
So, if you have a moment please pray for my "big cabin man" the Lord will know who your talking about.
I also make sure i don't mince words, or beat around the bush. I have been told that i walk where angels fear to tread...and I thought I was just saying what needed to be said.
On a bad note about that, I recently met a man who really needed a meal and a few dollars. I should have been sensitive to his needs, he wasnt the run of the meal beggar, he just happened to be in a tough situation for a day or two.
I went on my merry way, i let his "hints" go over my head....it wasnt till i was several miles away the spirit of conviction hit me..."Why didnt you feed that man?"
Everytime I think of that man I feel guilty, and i pray the Lord will bless him doubly because of my stupidity.
So, if you have a moment please pray for my "big cabin man" the Lord will know who your talking about.
A
Because, as women, we are not raised to speak our minds and be honest with men about our feelings. Women who do are often deemed as unladylike or aggressive...or worse.
We're supposed to be dainty little flowers who sit properly with our ankles crossed, Bibles on our laps, until a guy gets up the courage to come and sit beside us and say hello.
Did I just type that out loud? Yes...Yes, I did
We're supposed to be dainty little flowers who sit properly with our ankles crossed, Bibles on our laps, until a guy gets up the courage to come and sit beside us and say hello.
Did I just type that out loud? Yes...Yes, I did
Jules!!! You're funny.
It's not really about whether someone likes your answer or not..hmm..
I definitely hear and agree with the generalizations of men and women, but understand the nature vs nurture aspects too.
Most women due naturally just...Idk...care more (nurturer) then most men (aggressor), but you have to interpretate everything to your own situation as well.
Being INFJ, I probably pick up on more than a lot of other personality-type males do, but there's still a general disconnect on certain levels. Usually, people want something in between the extremes. Truth with love comes off harsh and judgement, and Love without truth..well...lies...a lot.
So, you need both. Jesus had a way of getting to the point without bluntly saying it. You actually had to think and act on it yourself before getting it. I think this could largely be applied in our lives as well. Sometimes...(not always)...a question can answer better than a statement. Nonetheless, never expect people to 'be on the same page' or 'know what you mean'...because most humans are not psychic, so 99% of the time, their not.
Also, don't just assume someone 'really knows you', even if they've been around you for a long time. Truth be told, you both might be someone completely different than who you 'appear' to be to one another.
It's not really about whether someone likes your answer or not..hmm..
I definitely hear and agree with the generalizations of men and women, but understand the nature vs nurture aspects too.
Most women due naturally just...Idk...care more (nurturer) then most men (aggressor), but you have to interpretate everything to your own situation as well.
Being INFJ, I probably pick up on more than a lot of other personality-type males do, but there's still a general disconnect on certain levels. Usually, people want something in between the extremes. Truth with love comes off harsh and judgement, and Love without truth..well...lies...a lot.
So, you need both. Jesus had a way of getting to the point without bluntly saying it. You actually had to think and act on it yourself before getting it. I think this could largely be applied in our lives as well. Sometimes...(not always)...a question can answer better than a statement. Nonetheless, never expect people to 'be on the same page' or 'know what you mean'...because most humans are not psychic, so 99% of the time, their not.
Also, don't just assume someone 'really knows you', even if they've been around you for a long time. Truth be told, you both might be someone completely different than who you 'appear' to be to one another.
J
adekruif, Have you tried asking questions?
Women are more comfortable honestly answering questions than they are initiating certain topics, particularly if they feel a guy might not respond favorably or the situation might become awkward.
EXAMPLE: Ugly was talking about a woman coming right out and saying that she wants to go to a certain restaurant.
Most women won't do that and the main reason is that she doesn't know whether he can afford it or not, and doesn't want to make him feel badly if he can't. He and his feelings are more important to her than eating at a restaurant. They also don't know whether or not he will be offended if the woman offers to split the bill or even treat HIM to dinner.
She doesn't ask out of RESPECT for her man.
Women are more comfortable honestly answering questions than they are initiating certain topics, particularly if they feel a guy might not respond favorably or the situation might become awkward.
EXAMPLE: Ugly was talking about a woman coming right out and saying that she wants to go to a certain restaurant.
Most women won't do that and the main reason is that she doesn't know whether he can afford it or not, and doesn't want to make him feel badly if he can't. He and his feelings are more important to her than eating at a restaurant. They also don't know whether or not he will be offended if the woman offers to split the bill or even treat HIM to dinner.
She doesn't ask out of RESPECT for her man.
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This is beautiful!! Perfect example!!
Most guys would of never thought about or considered any of this...at all...or even have expected someone to have thought about or considered it.
There's the disconnect I'm talking about!! If we don't share things like this with one another...no one will ever know!
*Guys version*
Do you wanna go wherever?
Answer: Yes (or no)
Response: Cool.
End of story
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J
Thank you, Reece. I think a lot of guys don't understand the reasons for the things we do at all. They never stop to consider that we do what we do (or in this case, don't do) out of love, respect and unselfishness toward them.
If HE brings up the restaurant, we know it's okay and would be comfortable saying whether we want to go or not.
If HE brings up the restaurant, we know it's okay and would be comfortable saying whether we want to go or not.
Roger! Ace True Wilco!
To le Menz: Consider reasons why women did or did not do something. (*remember she cares about feelings...) Adjust accordingly.
To la Ladies: Remember that men don't really care nearly as much about feelings, in general, so you actually have to 'speak to him' in semi-easy to understand words and phrases. (*remember that they really have no idea what you're thinking or feeling...most of the time) Try your best to be objective and logical.
To le Menz: Consider reasons why women did or did not do something. (*remember she cares about feelings...) Adjust accordingly.
To la Ladies: Remember that men don't really care nearly as much about feelings, in general, so you actually have to 'speak to him' in semi-easy to understand words and phrases. (*remember that they really have no idea what you're thinking or feeling...most of the time) Try your best to be objective and logical.
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