Is it Good to marry an unbeliever?

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olajide

Guest
#1
I need your comments is it proper for a believer to marry an unbeliever believing she would changed or could change when you gget married
 

RoboOp

Administrator
Staff member
Aug 4, 2008
1,419
667
113
#2
Here's what the Bible says (1 Corinthians 6):

[SUP]14 [/SUP]Do not be yoked together with unbelievers. For what do righteousness and wickedness have in common? Or what fellowship can light have with darkness? [SUP]15 [/SUP]What harmony is there between Christ and Belial[SUP][b][/SUP]? Or what does a believer have in common with an unbeliever?[SUP]16 [/SUP]What agreement is there between the temple of God and idols? For we are the temple of the living God. As God has said:
“I will live with them
and walk among them,
and I will be their God,
and they will be my people.”[SUP][c][/SUP]

[SUP]17 [/SUP]Therefore,
“Come out from them
and be separate,

says the Lord.
Touch no unclean thing,
and I will receive you.”[SUP][d][/SUP]

[SUP]18 [/SUP]And,
“I will be a Father to you,
and you will be my sons and daughters,
says the Lord Almighty.”[SUP][e]


[/SUP]
 
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RoboOp

Administrator
Staff member
Aug 4, 2008
1,419
667
113
#3
Also in 1 Corinthians 7 Paul tells widows that they are free to remarry, BUT "he must belong to the Lord":

[SUP]39 [/SUP]A woman is bound to her husband as long as he lives.But if her husband dies, she is free to marry anyone she wishes, but he must belong to the Lord.
 

RoboOp

Administrator
Staff member
Aug 4, 2008
1,419
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#4
There is no guarantee that the unbeliever you marry will get saved after your marriage.

And regardless, it's disobeying God.

Also, even having a relationship/engagement to an unbeliever is spiritually dangerous, because it's hard enough for two Christians to have a conviction of sexual purity before marriage. An unbeliever will have no such conviction (not a real conviction) and can easily pull you into an even greater sin than the sin of choosing to be unequally yoked.
 

RoboOp

Administrator
Staff member
Aug 4, 2008
1,419
667
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#5
Christian singles should have two strong convictions:

1. Absolute sexual purity before marriage.

2. Not being unequally yoked (by marriage or even any relationship beyond friendship).

So I encourage you to have these two convictions and trust God and seek a believer.

You can be friends with the unbeliever and witness to her, bring her to church, etc., but you shouldn't be any more than friends as long as she is an unbeliever.
 

Lucy68

Senior Member
Jan 21, 2011
2,538
22
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#6
It's always best to follow the biblical standards :). Don't ever marry someone thinking that you can change them. Ask yourself why isn't she open to the Lord's leading right now? Change is always possible and definitely something to be prayed for, but heading down a blind path can lead to much misery.
 
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Relena7

Guest
#7
As long as the two of you look at the situation honestly and fully, and still know for sure that you would both benefit from the marriage spiritually and otherwise, I say go for it. Marry who you want. :) (I know I will probably be quoted and disagreed with but it's my opinion anyway)

....Don't ever marry someone thinking that you can change them....
Very good advice. Never marry someone for who they "might be" after you've been married. Only marry them for who they are right now.
 

rachelsedge

Senior Member
Oct 15, 2012
3,659
79
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#8
As long as the two of you look at the situation honestly and fully, and still know for sure that you would both benefit from the marriage spiritually and otherwise, I say go for it. Marry who you want. :) (I know I will probably be quoted and disagreed with but it's my opinion anyway)
I guess I'm just curious as to how a Christian could benefit spiritually from a marriage to someone who's not a Christian? They can't read the Bible together, pray together, attend church together, bring up the family in a Christian manner together...

I understand and respect that that's your opinion, I'm just a bit puzzled as to how a married couple could grow together spiritually if they have vastly different spiritual foundations. Your thoughts?
 
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Donkeyfish07

Guest
#9
I guess I'm just curious as to how a Christian could benefit spiritually from a marriage to someone who's not a Christian? They can't read the Bible together, pray together, attend church together, bring up the family in a Christian manner together...

I understand and respect that that's your opinion, I'm just a bit puzzled as to how a married couple could grow together spiritually if they have vastly different spiritual foundations. Your thoughts?
I think the unbeliever could benefit. If the believer lives a truly upright life and the other person wants to be with them....I'd like to believe there has been souls saved that way. Only God knows for certain though
 

rachelsedge

Senior Member
Oct 15, 2012
3,659
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#10
I think the unbeliever could benefit. If the believer lives a truly upright life and the other person wants to be with them....I'd like to believe there has been souls saved that way. Only God knows for certain though
I see. I have heard stories like that. One of my friend's parents got married. The guy was a believer and the woman was Mormon and later converted to Christianity a couple of years later. But that's not always the case. That's extremely risky to go into; besides that I think it's Biblically wrong, as RoboOp pointed out.

I, personally, would find it hard to even be with someone who didn't love Christ. He could be perfect in literally every other way, but it's such a huge thing for me, I can't even picture it. *Shrugs*
 
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Relena7

Guest
#11
I guess I'm just curious as to how a Christian could benefit spiritually from a marriage to someone who's not a Christian? They can't read the Bible together, pray together, attend church together, bring up the family in a Christian manner together...

I understand and respect that that's your opinion, I'm just a bit puzzled as to how a married couple could grow together spiritually if they have vastly different spiritual foundations. Your thoughts?
The believer could benefit from human love from their companion, and benefit spiritually directly from God, and the unbeliever could benefit from both the human love of the believer and the blessings from being married to a servant of God. The downside would be the unbeliever might not be aware that the blessings are from God, and it could be hard for the believer not being able to share that feeling of thanks with that person they love.

It is a huge choice though, one that would have to be looked at honestly and fully as if distanced from your current emotions to see if such a thing could work for you. It wouldn't be for everyone.
 
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Donkeyfish07

Guest
#12
I see. I have heard stories like that. One of my friend's parents got married. The guy was a believer and the woman was Mormon and later converted to Christianity a couple of years later. But that's not always the case. That's extremely risky to go into; besides that I think it's Biblically wrong, as RoboOp pointed out.

I, personally, would find it hard to even be with someone who didn't love Christ. He could be perfect in literally every other way, but it's such a huge thing for me, I can't even picture it. *Shrugs*
I don't want to get married personally, but if I did I would want it to be a Christian woman who dresses modestly at the very least. I wouldn't say it's biblically wrong because of the verses in 1 Corinthians like "For how do you know, O wife, whether you shall save your husband? or how do you know, O man, whether you shall save your wife?'. I wouldn't say it's biblically encouraged either. If i had a new Christian ask me whether they should or not, I honestly wouldn't know how to answer.
 
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xXErraticEmilyXx

Guest
#13
No. You need to have a partner who is on the same level with you. A christian marriage is designed to help both partners grow in faith together in a union with God. We can't expect for one to change- sometimes that person changes for best interest in their partner, not in God.
 
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Colt79

Guest
#14
I would not, in fact I'd be quite surprised if the relationship was strong enough to make it that far.
 
Aug 27, 2005
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#15
It isn't Biblical and also just plain not wise ..for all the reasons already posted. Be weary getting close to someone romantically that doesn't believe in God as you do.
 
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jimmydiggs

Guest
#16
The believer could benefit from human love from their companion, and benefit spiritually directly from God, and the unbeliever could benefit from both the human love of the believer and the blessings from being married to a servant of God. The downside would be the unbeliever might not be aware that the blessings are from God, and it could be hard for the believer not being able to share that feeling of thanks with that person they love.

It is a huge choice though, one that would have to be looked at honestly and fully as if distanced from your current emotions to see if such a thing could work for you. It wouldn't be for everyone.
Scripture explicity forbids it. It would be sin to do so unless necesitated by other matters.

Are you a Christian, Relena7?
 
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bahamas

Guest
#17
the scripture dose not suports it period.
 
Aug 27, 2005
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#18
I think in these times it's much easier for the non-believer to sway the morals and choices of the Christian, than for the Christian to convince the unbeliever that Christianity is the way to go. Don't get yourself into that predicament.
 
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Relena7

Guest
#19
Are you a Christian, Relena7?
I believe in God and Jesus, and I'm open minded about Christianity and its morals. I don't really like being put into a religious category though (for personal reasons).
 

Lucy68

Senior Member
Jan 21, 2011
2,538
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#20
We are all works in progress and it's impossible to know how someone will respond to God's call in the future.

If I was a young Christian person today and I met someone who I was interested in but wasn't a Christian, I would invite them to church, or try to get them involved with a group of Christians, and see how they respond to the message. After a period of time I think it would be fairly obvious if they are interested in Christ or not. Just observing someone interact with other people will tell you a lot about their character. I also wouldn't communicate my interest, or try not to anyway.

If they come to Christ, great! If not, you at least witnessed to them and helped them to find the path.

Marrying someone who is out-right hostile to Christianity and in love with the world will cause a lot of problems later. Especially when children come into the picture. You will definitely be trying to pull the cart in two different directions.