Age

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Stuey

Senior Member
#1
Aug 17, 2009
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#1
Hmmm, so I've been thinking on this one. I really don't mean to offend anyone and I'm really sorry if I do, these are just my thoughts on it.

How does age affect how you see someone? Like see them as a potential spouse. Now I'm not talking about the 'oh I'd date someone this age but not this age' but more of - I find this age more attractive for this reason.

I've noticed for myself. I find most 18-20 yo's too immature. But I also find people who are significantly older than me... less attractive, and I'm not just talking about physical? I'm not sure why exactly I find this the case - given that they are more mature - and generally more experienced & understanding. I feel like part of this is the beauty that fades over time - oh how shallow I can be - but I also feel like it is more than just the beauty to me. For example - Someone who was 27 and quite pretty I may feel less attracted to than someone who was 21 and less pretty - not saying I wouldn't date a 27 yo, or older, but, I find less of a desire to.

I'm not sure exactly what it is, it could be just me wanting a young wife... seeking out a young and fertile spouse!. Or maybe it is just a part of me going, by the time I'm 30 she will be 35! Or, hmm, not sure.

What are your experiences of this?
 
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Relena7

Guest
#2
#2
See this is the reason men need a secret forum too...... :p
 
rachelsedge

rachelsedge

Senior Member
#3
Oct 15, 2012
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Stuey! I was thisclose to posting a thread about the same thing the other day! Great minds think alike. :D

One of my friends is 23 and she's dating someone who is 36. I also know a high school aquaintance who is 21 and is dating someone in his lower 40s. I thought it was her dad at first when I saw a picture of them together on Facebook. Whoops.

I don't think I'd date anyone younger than 20. It just weirds me out for me to think about dating a teenager (besides the maturity level being an issue) even though I'm really only a couple of years removed, but I think those years are pretty substantial in growth. I don't think I could date someone who is old enough to be my dad, either (in his 40s). That also weirds me out.

I don't really have a definite answer. I've been deleting paragraphs trying to figure out how to word my response. I've been attracted to guys who were younger than me (20, nothing younger) and guys who were older than me (lower 30s). Past the lower 30s (which is a 10 year age difference from me) I start encountering generational differences and it's harder to relate to them so I tend to not be attracted to that age group. Ideally I'd like to meet someone close-ish to my age if only so that we can experience that age of our life at the same time, together, if that makes sense. But, I also don't want to close off guys just because they aren't in my "ideal range". My ideal range being anywhere in their 20s.

That answer feels all over the place but it's probably because I don't actually have a definite answer. :eek:
 
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Liamson

Liamson

Senior Member
#4
Feb 3, 2010
3,078
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Half your age plus 7. That is your dating range.

So, if you are 20y = X
X = 20/2 + 7
X = 17
I am 27...
27y = X
X = 27/2 + 7
X = 13.5 + 7
X = 20.5
Therefore the Lower limit of my dating range is 20.5 years old.

Or take your age, subtract 7 and multiply by 2 to see the top end.

So.. (20yrsold -7) x 2 = X
13 x 2 = 26, therefore a 20 year old can date at oldest someone who is 26.

I'm 27, so (27 - 7) x 2 = 40. The older people get the less they care what the range is but I think the Math is okay.



That is a rule but, since I'm not really dating I don't have any rules. :)
 
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Tandemtruths

Guest
#5
#5
I couldn't really see myself going outside of around 6 or 7 years. It just feels awkward at that point.Which direction of that range really depends on the person. I'm not pursuing anything at this point, so it may be moot.
 
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HEIsRiSen

Senior Member
#6
Feb 4, 2013
487
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#6
Relena7 said:
See this is the reason men need a secret forum too...... :p
Click to expand...
The women only have their own forum because the guys don't want to have any part in their gossip haha... I KID!
 
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Relena7

Guest
#7
#7
HEIsRiSen said:
The women only have their own forum because the guys don't want to have any part in their gossip haha... I KID!
Click to expand...
Well I assure you it's not gossip. :p

I'm just sayin', a dude forum might be a good idea. That way men can discuss things that "seem" shallow without the risk of someone "taking it wrong" lol.
 
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HEIsRiSen

Senior Member
#8
Feb 4, 2013
487
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#8
Relena7 said:
Well I assure you it's not gossip. :p

I'm just sayin', a dude forum might be a good idea. That way men can discuss things that "seem" shallow without the risk of someone "taking it wrong" lol.
Click to expand...
The idea of a Men's Forum has been presented in the past, but If I remember correctly, the administration didn't feel it would be utilized enough so it was deemed unnecessary, which I am inclined to agree with.
 
Stephen63

Stephen63

Banned
#9
Aug 15, 2009
9,745
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#9
HEIsRiSen said:
The women only have their own forum because the guys don't want to have any part in their gossip haha... I KID!
Click to expand...
HEIsRiSen, those gals don't repeat gossip in the women's forums.......... that's why you have to read closely the first time! :p
 
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arwen83

Guest
#10
#10
Liamson said:
Half your age plus 7. That is your dating range.

So, if you are 20y = X
X = 20/2 + 7
X = 17
I am 27...
27y = X
X = 27/2 + 7
X = 13.5 + 7
X = 20.5
Therefore the Lower limit of my dating range is 20.5 years old.

Or take your age, subtract 7 and multiply by 2 to see the top end.

So.. (20yrsold -7) x 2 = X
13 x 2 = 26, therefore a 20 year old can date at oldest someone who is 26.

I'm 27, so (27 - 7) x 2 = 40. The older people get the less they care what the range is but I think the Math is okay.

That is a rule but, since I'm not really dating I don't have any rules. :)
Click to expand...
I am scared to date someone older than 33, cus that's too close to 40 and that makes me feel old. I will date younger, probably because I look and feel young, but it depends on maturity though. Lowest I would go is a mature 22. But according to Aimee, our prefrontal lobes aren't 'done cooking' until 25. And guys usually don't know what they want at that time in their life, and are going 'discovering themselves'. So maybe I should set the bar at 25 lol.
 
Nautilus

Nautilus

Senior Member
#11
Jun 29, 2012
6,488
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#11
I tend to got like 24 to 34 personally..maybe a year or two in either way leniency if i met someone fantastic.
 
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Stuey

Senior Member
#12
Aug 17, 2009
892
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#12
Sorry Relena. :( Honestly it probably is shallow.

So for you Arwen it is the feeling old that would put you off dating someone older?




Hmm... I feel people didn't really read what I said.
 
Liamson

Liamson

Senior Member
#13
Feb 3, 2010
3,078
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#13
I read it but, I feel like you didn't take your own age into consideration.

Your Age is relative to how old you are. Therefore how old the people you intend to date is relative to your age.

When I was 16 I thought 19-21 year old girls were fat and old. When I was 19, I thought 16 year old girls were immature and weak sauce.

When I was 24, I thought 21 year old women were crazy and 29 year old women were just biological time bombs.

My point being, whatever age you are, has a built in attraction to people you would be most compatible with.

I'm 27, I appreciate the Youthful Responsible Experience people my age possess. Younger and they have strange expectations based on inexperience, too much older and I have to deal with the bitterness of age.

When I'm old and bitter I will think 27 year olds are naive and unsettled or something.

Perspective changes over time.
 
rachelsedge

rachelsedge

Senior Member
#14
Oct 15, 2012
3,659
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#14
I don't think Stuey is asking what our dating age range is. I think he's asking what age group we're most attracted to and why.

Did I get that right, Stuey?
 
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zaoman32

Guest
#15
#15
Unfortunately I have no one to be attracted to where I live, which is also how I know it'll be God's plan when I marry :D

I usually look for somebody around my age, somewhere between early twenties, and probably no older than 35. I don't know, I just don't want to be married at 60 years old and have a wife who is 75. That's a little much for me. But all the christian girls around my age where I live are either married, or we are not compatible in any way, shape, or form. And the only christian women I have anything in common with are in their 50's, which is kind of weird.

I certainly have no plans of marrying someone in their 50's, so anyone 35 and younger, that would have the attributes of a 50 year old, will be all mine :)
 
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Donkeyfish07

Guest
#16
#16
My last girlfriend was younger than me but I prefer to date older than me by at least a couple years. I've dated 18-40. To be honest the age isn't a factor for me at all on the upper end of the scale, as long as the woman is attractive. I'm really easy to please....be cute, drama free, enjoy excessive cuddling, and don't nag.
 
Bridget_Left_China

Bridget_Left_China

Senior Member
#17
Oct 7, 2011
344
12
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#17
I usually don't go for younger men. I am not a "cougar" by any means. I mean... 3-4 years younger is not an issue to me...But 10+ years younger? Eew, no. Some youngin's seem to think that all of us older ladies like the attention of the younger men. It couldn't be further from the truth in my case.
 
Bridget_Left_China

Bridget_Left_China

Senior Member
#18
Oct 7, 2011
344
12
18
#18
Donkeyfish07 said:
To be honest the age isn't a factor for me at all on the upper end of the scale, as long as the woman is attractive.
Click to expand...
Yay, another notch in the 'looks is everything' category. How original! :p
 
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seoulsearch

seoulsearch

OutWrite Trouble
#20
May 23, 2009
14,958
4,595
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#20
Heh heh heh... Ok Bridget, beautiful lady :) I'm going to have to shake things up a bit because I'm at the other end of the scale.

From the time I was 12 older men have tried to talk to me, including a 24-year-old teacher and men in their 40's on up. I hated it. And still do to this day. The odd thing is that even though I've gotten older, it still creeps me out when someone 10 years older tries to talk to me.

While age definitely is a consideration, I have always felt safer around guys my own age or younger--probably because I have younger brothers who would do anything for me if I needed something. I dated one guy 8 years older than me and he had more issues than any younger guy I've ever met, so for me, it's all about the person.

However, because older men creep me out, I never want to make someone else feel the same way and am very sensitive to only approaching younger guys (say, 5 or more years younger) as friends. If a guy felt otherwise about me, he'd have to say something because out of respect, I would not. The last 3 guys I dated were in their early 20's, and they were the ones who asked me. My preference is more about maturity and responsibility than age.

I know it's frightening to get older or look at someone older as a potential date, but I also know I'm in a much better place in life than I was at 25--emotionally, spiritually, financially--to be a better partner to someone than when I was younger. I went out with a very polite, sweet younger guy a few times and he always insisted on paying for my dinners... The next time we went out, I enjoyed seeing the shocked look on his face when I paid for his ticket to the event we decided to go to.

I told him, I decided even as a teenager, no guy would ever be able to say I used him for anything, not even a free dinner, and this was my way of evening the score. I enjoy being at a place in life where I can treat someone special to a special day or weekend without them having to pay for anything.
 
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