How Much Is the Advice of Single People Really Worth??!
Hey Everyone,
I was just thinking... There are several of us here (I was thinking of myself, but we're kind of one big gang in a way
) who post in nearly every thread in the singles forum. We have lots to say, share, and give (admittedly) plenty of advice, judgment, or opinions (sometimes unsolicited) about things we may NEVER have experienced or been through ourselves.
And yet, most of us feel we can give a meaningful answer, Scripture, or "this is what you do or don't do" answer--people sometimes even give us "likes" for our answers!
But how reliable and valid can our advice be if we're all either not in relationships or are the product of situations that didn't work out?
If we all know so much and can easily proclaim "how it should be" or "what you should do" or "this is what God says", why is it that so many of us have been in relationships that ended, and continue to either find failure or are by ourselves? (I'm thinking of those in particular who are actively seeking or trying and not so much the people who've already said they are content or not looking, because if you're not looking, it obviously lowers the chance for failure)
A wise poster here once wrote that he wondered if the Singles Forum was often "the blind leading the blind", which I think is a very valid point!! I often wish we'd hear from our married friends who have the experience and years to back what they say.
The inspiration for this thread was my old church, who, for a month, held a Question and Answer Session about Marriage and Relationships during a month's worth of sermons. People could write in honest, anonymous answers and the panel that answered all had varying degrees of actual experience--for example, a young marriage that had worked through an affair, an older couple who'd been married 40+ years, someone who had been single most of their life, and people who had been through divorce or death of a spouse.
I DO NOT mean this thread to be disrespectful in any way to anyone out there--I love reading people's posts here.
But I also have to wonder... How much is all of our advice worth in the pursuit of a successful marriage? And how much are we missing out on by not having a more experienced panel to pull from? (Or maybe it doesn't exist... If we placed an ad for "Experienced, Happily Married Couples Wanted to Share and Give Advice", how many couples would apply? One look at all the posts in the Family Thread doesn't seem to be a good sign.) After all, if you want to be a doctor, people who have BEEN to the doctor might all have an opinion, and it might be somewhat motivating, but they might not have much practical advice to get you where you want to go.
Then again, I know there is a good chance that all the Happily Married Couples are out being happy and married instead of hanging around us single folks.
Hey Everyone,
I was just thinking... There are several of us here (I was thinking of myself, but we're kind of one big gang in a way
) who post in nearly every thread in the singles forum. We have lots to say, share, and give (admittedly) plenty of advice, judgment, or opinions (sometimes unsolicited) about things we may NEVER have experienced or been through ourselves.And yet, most of us feel we can give a meaningful answer, Scripture, or "this is what you do or don't do" answer--people sometimes even give us "likes" for our answers!
But how reliable and valid can our advice be if we're all either not in relationships or are the product of situations that didn't work out?
If we all know so much and can easily proclaim "how it should be" or "what you should do" or "this is what God says", why is it that so many of us have been in relationships that ended, and continue to either find failure or are by ourselves? (I'm thinking of those in particular who are actively seeking or trying and not so much the people who've already said they are content or not looking, because if you're not looking, it obviously lowers the chance for failure
) A wise poster here once wrote that he wondered if the Singles Forum was often "the blind leading the blind", which I think is a very valid point!! I often wish we'd hear from our married friends who have the experience and years to back what they say.
The inspiration for this thread was my old church, who, for a month, held a Question and Answer Session about Marriage and Relationships during a month's worth of sermons. People could write in honest, anonymous answers and the panel that answered all had varying degrees of actual experience--for example, a young marriage that had worked through an affair, an older couple who'd been married 40+ years, someone who had been single most of their life, and people who had been through divorce or death of a spouse.
I DO NOT mean this thread to be disrespectful in any way to anyone out there--I love reading people's posts here.
But I also have to wonder... How much is all of our advice worth in the pursuit of a successful marriage? And how much are we missing out on by not having a more experienced panel to pull from? (Or maybe it doesn't exist... If we placed an ad for "Experienced, Happily Married Couples Wanted to Share and Give Advice", how many couples would apply? One look at all the posts in the Family Thread doesn't seem to be a good sign.) After all, if you want to be a doctor, people who have BEEN to the doctor might all have an opinion, and it might be somewhat motivating, but they might not have much practical advice to get you where you want to go.
Then again, I know there is a good chance that all the Happily Married Couples are out being happy and married instead of hanging around us single folks.
