Did I do anything wrong ? I was just trying to be a good friend.

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swagglestar214

Guest
#1
#1
Okay, there's this friend of mine that's a guy whom I've liked for almost 3 years. Ive been good friends with him even though we have had some ups and downs. He doesn't like me back and has a girlfriend who isnt really a Christian of course which is saddening but I still support him and try to give him good advice. So in school especially in math hes a good student but cheats on a lot of his quizzes and tests. Now, I used to cheat at times when somebody would give me an answer to something but I stopped because I felt in my heart it was wrong and that i didn't earn that good grade and that I was only cheating myself. He cheats through his math quizzes and tests without feeling bad about it and it gets me upset because he goes to chapel, church, etc proclaiming hes a christian and sings worship songs yet says a cuss word everyday (he doesn't cuss much) and cheats i his next class without feeling bad about it because he continuously does it.

I try my best on all of my tests, etc but if i didn't study i wont cheat. Ill except my irresponsibility and will get the grade I get. Now earlier today, we were suppose to have a quiz in geometry. Before we took the quiz my guy friend decided to be sneaky and take the answer key without the teacher looking to the quiz on his desk. The teacher then recognized that the answer key was not there and wanted to know who would do that. He didn't make any accusations but said he was very dissapointed. My guy friend tried to not look guilty by saying, well whoever did it was stupid. who would do such a thing? Basically he was lying that he didn't do it. So he cheated and lied and almost everybody in our class took it as a joke when I was just disappointed in him. He says hes a christian but does all that without feeling bad about it and does it again and again.

I posted as a tweet on twitter hoping he would see it that i don't get people who worship God in chapel and sing , etc but cheat in their next class. Doesn't sound sincere to me. He saw it then sended me a sarcastic picture of a smiling bunny that says, I know how you feel, but i just don't care. and that got me even more upset. Honestly i deeply care for him and only want to help him. I basically wanted to let him know that he shouldn't do that and ask for forgiveness because hes better than that. That hes only cheating himself. Im only trying to be a true friend. Most of his friends wouldn't even tell him that , they would just laugh over the situation and do it with him. This is what the response I get to only trying to give good advice and be a helpful friend..:( then he deleted the picture that he he sended me then unfollowed me on twitter.
 
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swagglestar214

Guest
#2
#2
disregard the other thread. I accidentely posted the same thread twice.
 
NateDaGrimes

NateDaGrimes

Senior Member
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Jan 7, 2013
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he sounds like he is just playing church.. you can tell he isnt real and never gave his life to the lord.

The down to the point is... he is not a christian, he is just acting like on in church, if kids like him just act like this in the world like he is in school then the nonchristians will put us down for looking like hypocrites just because of one guy who thinks he is a christian.
 
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swagglestar214

Guest
#4
#4
I mean he has invited me to his church and Bible study. However, the last time I did go to his youth group church he was texting to his girlfriend and some other people while these two people were preaching about Gods loves and talking about relationships today and loving one another. He was texting for like most of the message when I wouldn't do such a thing because you don't do that at church. Maybe he was multitasking;texting while listening but who knows. So I guess hes fake or just not as close to God as he should be..
 
NateDaGrimes

NateDaGrimes

Senior Member
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Jan 7, 2013
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besides if we he trying to be close to god, he would've givin you a better responce on twitter which he didnt which showed his true colors.
 
leelee

leelee

Senior Member
#6
Sep 5, 2011
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I don't think that calling him out on twitter was the best idea, people do not appreciate public embarrassment. I think you are right to feel disappointed. He may or may not change but don't allow his bad behaviour to affect yours.
 
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swagglestar214

Guest
#7
#7
Yup, I guess so. That deeply saddens me though :( Only thing I can do is just pray for him and either ignore him or talk to him more about it
 
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swagglestar214

Guest
#8
#8
You're right. Even though I didn't mention names I should have just directly approached him about it. That was my mistake. I was just frustrated. He probably would have given me the same attitiude though even if I did approach him directly about it
 
leelee

leelee

Senior Member
#9
Sep 5, 2011
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Maybe you need to take it higher, nobody wants to be a tattle-tale but he needs to understand that his actions have consequences. Try talking to him if he will listen but don't threaten him, if he doesn't listen then maybe take it further.
 
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swagglestar214

Guest
#10
#10
I know I didn't want tell on him or anybody if anybody did that because I don't want to be known as a tattle tale and its their life not mine. Then like people would hate me. I rather for him to get in trouble on his own if he continues. Ill try to talk to him first if hes willing to talk, if not then Ill just ignore him. I know if i were to tell on him, he would most likely not talk to me again and our friendship would be completely ruined.
 
leelee

leelee

Senior Member
#11
Sep 5, 2011
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It might already be ruined, you shouldn't worry what people think and there are ways to go about telling without him knowing it was you. sorry that reply is a bit short but its 1am here and I need to sleep.
 
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swagglestar214

Guest
#12
#12
Its totally fine. Thank you for your help
 
U

Ugly

Guest
#13
#13
leelee said:
It might already be ruined, you shouldn't worry what people think and there are ways to go about telling without him knowing it was you. sorry that reply is a bit short but its 1am here and I need to sleep.
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Well, the catch to that is she's already been on his case about cheating. If all of a sudden 'someone' tells on him, who will he go to first and accuse?


To the OP. You're missing it. He says one thing, and acts another way. His actions don't support his words. Why do you think that is? Because he's not being honest. His 'church persona' is probably more to do with making others happy and putting on a good show, but when no ones around you see his true colors.
 
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swagglestar214

Guest
#14
#14
All of this and just him makes me want to cry. Maybe I should not be friends with him for a while..I drew him a very animated and detailed birthday card with a long, sweet message for his birthday a few days ago and he said thank you but now I think that maybe I shouldn't have made it for him.. this is the attitude I get from him for pointing out the truth? Some say cheating is no biggie, especially in math. I once thought that, but it is wrong and it wont fly by in college...
 
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swagglestar214

Guest
#15
#15
A lot of people I know think cheating is no biggie and is okay in certain circumstances..I think differently.
 
H

Hellooo

Guest
#16
#16
I came across your original thread in the Miscellaneous forum...I responded there but I'll copy/paste here:

Speaking to the world about "some people" when you are really talking to your friend is passive aggressive. Confronting him directly in the situation would have been kinder. When it comes to the cheating, you know it's wrong, he knows it's wrong, but you may have to take a step back and let the Holy Spirit convict him

I believe this is the same friend you mentioned on the singles forum? I think you might have to be honest with yourself on what your true intentions are here. His actions don't justify the fact that you are also airing his issues on twitter -- that doesn't come from a place of trying to be a good friend, but rather one of anger, frustration, maybe some hurt? I'm not saying in any way that his behavior is justified, and I don't know him, and I don't know you, but I think there might be a little bit of resentment on your end. It is INCREDIBLY tough to have all of these romantic feelings for this guy that aren't reciprocated, and I know it sucks to no longer feel close to someone you consider a good friend. You might not want to hear this, but you're probably going to keep hurting yourself over this guy unless you distance yourself.`
 
NateDaGrimes

NateDaGrimes

Senior Member
#17
Jan 7, 2013
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#17
You should just tell on him, The pros about it is that he will have to study because cheating proves he is not really smart. Just think you are doing him a favor.

also who cares if people hate you, jesus was hated for the right things, paul was hated for the right things.. we are not to be conformed of this world anyway yet its best to have christian friends than secular friends. {WWJD}
 
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swagglestar214

Guest
#18
#18
Yes I may feel some resentment towards him because he doesnt like me back, but What really gets me upset is the fact that I was expecting to like someone that had judgement and really followed his Christian faith and was honest and had integrity. I guess I was qrong. These things are making me look at him differently because its making me think I wouldnt want to date someone like that. I still like him though and I know nobody's perfect.
 
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swagglestar214

Guest
#19
#19
Being that I do like him and being he said Hes a christian I was expecting better behavior and character from him which is why im upset and disappointed.
 
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Stuey

Senior Member
#20
Aug 17, 2009
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leelee said:
I don't think that calling him out on twitter was the best idea, people do not appreciate public embarrassment. I think you are right to feel disappointed. He may or may not change but don't allow his bad behaviour to affect yours.
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I'm with this! I feel publicly isn't a great way to deal with it. - I would actually recommend apologising to him for the way you dealt with it - by posting it publicly and say that you should have came to him first. :)

Call him out on it - tell him he is a Christian and that he shouldn't be acting in that way. See how he responds, if it is unsatisfactory - this may hurt your friendship - but you should consider going to his parents - especially if they are Christian. Dob him in - they will chat to him and get him in 'trouble' which is hopefully still scary.

It especially lets them know where he is at in regards to God and lets them do what they can.

& He's 16 yo. boy, don't expect much maturity there lol. :)
 
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