A man without his word his nothing

Hi, so I have been doing a lot of reflection as God shows me things for my life in the last few weeks amd pruning or taking away things that should not be there and noticed this pattern thay I wasnt sure if anyone else struggled with this too. I firmly believe that a man without his word is nothing. I try so hard to live up to this myself but I know I fail sometimes. I really struggle when someone else doesnt follow through when they say they will do something. I of course never say anything because I figure they are busy and who am I to judge them even though it hurts me. I also have a super busy life so its not like I have nothing to do, but does anyone have any suggestions so I dont find myself to be a doormat or if you struggle with this too?

If a person regularly breaks their word they should be addressed about it. They may not even know it bothers you.

Yes, you are allowed to say something if your gut or intellect tells you this is a issue that needs to be addressed.
This is a common issue in today's society. People are very hesitant or down right brain washed by the I can't judge them message.
It is not judging to address a legit issue that is a problem with you.
This is just yet another sly tool of satans devious plan for the continuing down fall cascade of sin our culture.
If we do not sometimes address some things then people think it is all right to act like this.

We can not judge someones salvation, and we can not Lord it over people, but God gave us a brain and a tongue for a reason.
If a Christian can niot speak up, then who can.
Are we not the salt of the earth and the light of the world?
Does not the bible say there are times when we are called to rebuke or correct?

Do not allow the god of this earth and his clueless and deceived liberal elite to nullify your power in Jesus.

And yes, a person, man or woman, who is continually breaking their word is a problem. It is a sin. We all know that sin does not occur in a vacuum. People that continually lie or do not keep their word are sliding in the wrong direction of the light, if they are not already out right there.

RH,

what a sensitive soul you are! His, Jesus' Word, is ALL that all of us truly have that is REAL!
His Reality becomes our LIFE, when He calls us, and only then do we start to awaken to
what is REAL, in the Real SPIRITUAL sense...

The problem is you are allowing yourself to be a doormat. There's nothing presumptuous about asking a person the reasons for breaking their word. You are letting people off the hook. We train people how to treat us, so if people know they have zero consequences with you, then you are encouraging people to minimize the importance of their word to you.
Don't be afraid to ask them. Asking doesn't require anger or accusation. They may have a legitimate answer, so it's good to give them the benefit of the doubt, until you learn the truth. But really you're just being passive. And as said above, if someone is doing this consistently then that shows a general lack of respect, whether it's towards you personally, or their attitude about people overall. Regardless you are being dismissed.
I find a major flaw in modern Christians is this misconception that being 'Christian' or 'loving' means never speaking up. There is nothing wrong with asking questions, issuing complaints and setting boundaries. In fact i'd say it's unloving, both to others, and yourself, to always stay silent.

Not just a man but anyone that has a habit of not following through with their word, should be considered irresponsible. Some do this out of habit and be oblivious to the problem. Others do this out of pure laziness to try and work on relationships, self obsessed with a self made world. But then you have a few who know they struggle with this bad habit and try to be better.

I have met many people who are oblivious to what they do. If we are true friends I believe I must tell them in a loving way aligned with God's truth.

But others who live by lying and doesn't care. All we can do is pray for that individual.

To one's who try to better. Well hold them accountable to that. And help them hold true their words.

Obviously we all do this time to time. But that's just it, it should only remain time to time.

As a kid I remember being so upset because my uncle would always promise he would come see me at a certain time, and wouldn't show up. He wasn't a bad guy, he was just not willing to tell me the truth because he was a Navy photographer who followed the Admin around all over the world. He never knew when he would be home.

He would lie to me to keep me from being sad, but it only made things worse.

I know sometimes, I do not keep my word. I think it is forgetfulness, more than anything. I don't think people are intentionally lying when they fail to keep their words. You can remind them. I promised a coworker to bring her some shoe boxes for her son to do a school project. Sure enough, I forgot. She messaged me to ask if I would bring them tomorrow. So, that's usually the explanation- just forgetting to do something. If it is a person you are close to, tell them they have a problem keeping their word, and ask them to be more mindful and to not forget to do the things they promised.

**** sounds like you've been hurt---- join the party---- some people's words are worthless...

Im not hurt, its just that Im trying to understand why people dont keep their word and why it affects me the way that it does.

What a person says becomes their bond and when they break that bond it takes a while for someone to put their faith and trust in them. Make sense?

**** absolutely---- it always hurts when people mess up---- give people Grace---- it will come back to you...

If you set high expectations on people who regularly break their word you will always get hurt.

Ya know I never thought of that. I guess because I have high expectations on myself in a weird way I expect that of others, but is that such a bad thing?

It's not bad if they have your same perspective of the importance of others keeping their word. However some people may not put a high value on certain things you do.

If they gave you their word and then they didn't do it, then their word is worthless, and you had nothing to do with it. They're what I call a "flake". Can't trust a flake when they say they're going to do something..

It depends on circumstances. If a person says they will do
something and they brake their word without a valid reason,
then it may mean they don't value you as a person or don't see you
as a high propriety in their life compared to other situations. It's especially
worse if they don't tell you.

If they call you and say I'm sorry I can't meet you, or do what I said I
would do etc. Then at least they are thinking about you and are sorry
about letting you down. They may have genuine higher priorities and you
should give a person who at least tells you, the benefit of the doubt. That's unless
it becomes a habit or you think they are lying. At best they might just have too much
going on in their own life and maybe you should be helping them rather than
the other way around. At worst they don't value you.

Its just best to ask and find out what's going on with them rather than judging
then without knowing the reasons.

Some people are just woolly headed and forgetful! I know a married couple where the man is
always late for everything, he is always the one walking into church 5 mins late.
Or turning up for agreed times half an hour late. He drove his wife and everyone
else loopy. It got so bad his wife put the clocks in the house forward by half an hour.
In all other respects he is a lovely Godly man and would do anything for anyone.
He is just completely disorganised with his own time and everyone else's.

I would be a flake then, I can't tell you how many times I've said i would go
somewhere then had to cancel at the last second due to something cropping up with my
elderly aunt not been well, or a medical emergency with her.

Some people can be so insensitive and will act like it's not a big thing when they don't bother to inform you about a meeting and they don't show up or don't even bother to apologize in case they forgot. Maybe I am just too sensitive and insensitive people are not safe for me. It's better to walk away from them.

A flake doesn't call and cancel. A flake says their gonna do it and then just doesnt show up and has no good excuse. I've worked with people like that.

this reminded me of a situation that happened last year with my assistant youth leader.

asst youth leader, secretary/treasurer, and i had a meeting and decided we were gonna meet on a thursday to shop for mother's day presents since our dept was in charge of the mom day program at church. i was free thursday afternoon and so was secretary/treasurer. we agreed that if asst youth leader couldn't get off from work, we would then use monday or tuesday night before said thursday to do the shopping.

i didn't hear anything from asst youth leader, so i texted him tuesday during the day to ask if he was able to get thursday afternoon off. he said he didn't get the afternoon off, so i said, "then that means we need to do the shopping this evening."

"i can't because i made plans with my girlfriend."

i.was.ticked.

i had to do the speech with him. "we are a team. we need to have clear communication." blah blah blah blah.

fortunately, someone else was able to help me with these things. i felt i couldn't depend on my asst leader like i used to.