A man without his word his nothing

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JosephsDreams

Senior Member
Dec 31, 2015
4,313
467
83
#21
The problem is you are allowing yourself to be a doormat. There's nothing presumptuous about asking a person the reasons for breaking their word. You are letting people off the hook. We train people how to treat us, so if people know they have zero consequences with you, then you are encouraging people to minimize the importance of their word to you.
Don't be afraid to ask them. Asking doesn't require anger or accusation. They may have a legitimate answer, so it's good to give them the benefit of the doubt, until you learn the truth. But really you're just being passive. And as said above, if someone is doing this consistently then that shows a general lack of respect, whether it's towards you personally, or their attitude about people overall. Regardless you are being dismissed.
I find a major flaw in modern Christians is this misconception that being 'Christian' or 'loving' means never speaking up. There is nothing wrong with asking questions, issuing complaints and setting boundaries. In fact i'd say it's unloving, both to others, and yourself, to always stay silent.
You sound like you are a therapist or something related.
 

Desertsrose

Senior Member
Oct 24, 2016
2,824
207
63
#22
1 John 2:5

But whoever keeps his word, in him truly the love of God is perfected. By this we may know that we are in him:

Numbers 30:1-2

Moses spoke to the heads of the tribes of the people of Israel, saying, “This is what the Lord has commanded. If a man vows a vow to the Lord, or swears an oath to bind himself by a pledge, he shall not break his word. He shall do according to all that proceeds out of his mouth.

Ecclesiastes 5:4-7

When you vow a vow to God, do not delay paying it, for he has no pleasure in fools. Pay what you vow. It is better that you should not vow than that you should vow and not pay. Let not your mouth lead you into sin, and do not say before the messenger that it was a mistake. Why should God be angry at your voice and destroy the work of your hands? For when dreams increase and words grow many, there is vanity; but God is the one you must fear.

Deuteronomy 23:23

You shall be careful to do what has passed your lips, for you have voluntarily vowed to the Lord your God what you have promised with your mouth.

Matthew 5:33-37

“Again you have heard that it was said to those of old, ‘You shall not swear falsely, but shall perform to the Lord what you have sworn.’ But I say to you, Do not take an oath at all, either by heaven, for it is the throne of God, or by the earth, for it is his footstool, or by Jerusalem, for it is the city of the great King. And do not take an oath by your head, for you cannot make one hair white or black. Let what you say be simply ‘Yes’ or ‘No’; anything more than this comes from evil.

Matthew 5:33

“Again you have heard that it was said to those of old, ‘You shall not swear falsely, but shall perform to the Lord what you have sworn.’

Acts 5:1-10

But a man named Ananias, with his wife Sapphira, sold a piece of property, and with his wife's knowledge he kept back for himself some of the proceeds and brought only a part of it and laid it at the apostles' feet. But Peter said, “Ananias, why has Satan filled your heart to lie to the Holy Spirit and to keep back for yourself part of the proceeds of the land? While it remained unsold, did it not remain your own? And after it was sold, was it not at your disposal? Why is it that you have contrived this deed in your heart? You have not lied to men but to God.” When Ananias heard these words, he fell down and breathed his last. And great fear came upon all who heard of it. ...

Psalm 15:1-4 ESV

A Psalm of David. O Lord, who shall sojourn in your tent? Who shall dwell on your holy hill? He who walks blamelessly and does what is right and speaks truth in his heart; who does not slander with his tongue and does no evil to his neighbor, nor takes up a reproach against his friend; in whose eyes a vile person is despised, but who honors those who fear the Lord; who swears to his own hurt and does not change;

James 5:12

But above all, my brothers, do not swear, either by heaven or by earth or by any other oath, but let your “yes” be yes and your “no” be no, so that you may not fall under condemnation.

Numbers 32:24

Build cities for your little ones and folds for your sheep, and do what you have promised.”

Leviticus 5:4-5

Or if anyone utters with his lips a rash oath to do evil or to do good, any sort of rash oath that people swear, and it is hidden from him, when he comes to know it, and he realizes his guilt in any of these; when he realizes his guilt in any of these and confesses the sin he has committed,

Matthew 5:37

Let what you say be simply ‘Yes’ or ‘No’; anything more than this comes from evil.

Proverbs 6:1-3

My son, if you have put up security for your neighbor, have given your pledge for a stranger, if you are snared in the words of your mouth, caught in the words of your mouth, then do this, my son, and save yourself, for you have come into the hand of your neighbor: go, hasten, and plead urgently with your neighbor.

Numbers 30:1-16

Moses spoke to the heads of the tribes of the people of Israel, saying, “This is what the Lord has commanded. If a man vows a vow to the Lord, or swears an oath to bind himself by a pledge, he shall not break his word. He shall do according to all that proceeds out of his mouth. “If a woman vows a vow to the Lord and binds herself by a pledge, while within her father's house in her youth, and her father hears of her vow and of her pledge by which she has bound herself and says nothing to her, then all her vows shall stand, and every pledge by which she has bound herself shall stand. But if her father opposes her on the day that he hears of it, no vow of hers, no pledge by which she has bound herself shall stand. And the Lord will forgive her, because her father opposed her. ...

Numbers 30:2

If a man vows a vow to the Lord, or swears an oath to bind himself by a pledge, he shall not break his word. He shall do according to all that proceeds out of his mouth.


 
Mar 2, 2016
8,896
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#23
Carrying around unmet expectations is poison to your soul. People who are sensitive often consider their value on their perception of how others view them. Unmet expectations then becoming a self fulfilling prophesy of a low view of oneself.

The world will treat you and view you exactly how you treat and view yourself in most cases.
 
R

renewed_hope

Guest
#24
Carrying around unmet expectations is poison to your soul. People who are sensitive often consider their value on their perception of how others view them. Unmet expectations then becoming a self fulfilling prophesy of a low view of oneself.

The world will treat you and view you exactly how you treat and view yourself in most cases.
But how do you demonstrate this without coming across as demanding or nagging?

Good point btw
 
R

renewed_hope

Guest
#26
I'm not sure exactly what you are asking.
How do you let go of the unmet expectations so you dont carry around with you?
 
Mar 2, 2016
8,896
112
0
#27
How do you let go of the unmet expectations so you dont carry around with you?
It's kind of like forgiveness I think. Easier said than done. As for me I think I check in with myself and ask myself questions like: what did I want to happen there....was it realistic or even fair to expect that? I think the fact of the matter is that people are going to hurt you...some worse than others.