Ok. I'm back. More messed up than ever. The pain doesn't go away. The hurt doesn't go away. The self loathing is at such an incredible level. I pray for help. I pray for understanding. I pray for escape. It's crazy that I was able (with God's help) to make myself better physically, but mentally I'm a total disaster. Getting worse all the time. Getting harder to hide it from people too. That's bad. Once it gets out how screwed up I am, I'm really done. Maybe that's what I need. To get pushed over the edge. This really sucks.
Severe self hatred
- Thread starter Fubar
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Z
Oh man how I feel for you.. I do pray God sends you someone who will support you while you go thru this. To feel alone or outcast is awful and a pain that seems endless.. Ive been there and still at times feel alone like no one understands but then I turn to God because He understands everything and Im always comfortable with Him..
I turn to God all the time. Now I'm turning to whoever reads this. Thank you for your prayers. I thank you for the opportunity to vent. I just can't figure out what good I am to the rest of humanity. I've hurt a lot of people. And I've been hurt. I'd rather be hurt a million times if I could take away the hurt I've caused. I can't forgive myself for the mistakes I've made, but I especially can't for the mistakes I didn't make. So many missed opportunities. So much regret. And to top it off I can't forgive myself. I can forgive others, but not myself. I'm supposed to treat other how I wish to be treated. To love others as myself. That would not be good in my case. I can't stop hating myself.
Do you trust the Lord? Not just as an aide to your desires, and self-assessed needs, but as your life itself, yielded to His will humbly? Have you given up your life to gain His life; which in turn is your life fully realized then, both in a transformed mind and body, and life-style made complete in righteousness (or a right relationship with God, properly aligned); within which, He freely gives of His resources and power? Hello Fubar, my name is Dan nice to meet you.
God knows us better than we know ourselves He says in His Word. So your prayer of understanding has been answered. And many more as well if you claim His promises. Would you like to talk sometime and go thru some Scripture? pm me sometime ok? I would love to see how God can help us discuss and discover His provisions and show us His will in life.
God knows us better than we know ourselves He says in His Word. So your prayer of understanding has been answered. And many more as well if you claim His promises. Would you like to talk sometime and go thru some Scripture? pm me sometime ok? I would love to see how God can help us discuss and discover His provisions and show us His will in life.
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i would spend some good quality time in prayer my friend, just being really open and honest with God explaining what you truly need to mend your wounds. just you alone with God coming from your heart and Knowing He hears you and He cares very deeply about your struggles and issues can really do wonders. I believe in prayer when We come in Jesus name to God, He hears us according to His word, and He is for us, for you wants to put your pieces back together to glorify His Son in your life.
Sometimes there are things that come to us that we also need to change in our lives in order to have peace of mind and heart in this up and down world we live in. we have the choice to fill our minds with Good things Like the Bible to Help our minds think in better ways, a book of wisdom and truth from God to mankind made for the purpose of changing our minds back to what they were meant to be. I used to cause most all of my own problems and hated myself Just like you are describing. I actually hated myself because i was causing all my own issues with myself and my life.
One day i realized i had hated myself enough, so i learned that the bible says " forget who you were and what you have done you are forgiven when you come to Jesus, I Love you, now go be what im explaining you need to be, Go forward and do good and live forever to the glory of the name Jesus."
then i realized hey, Jesus never loathed any of us addicts or prostitutes, alcoholics, those struggling with whatever issues....its actually those ones He forgave and associated with the ones who knew " im really messed up and need alot of help from Jesus or i cant make it anywhere, I truly need Gods salvation" those ones He healed and pardoned and taught and embraced and listened to and spoke with and Loved and died for and rose and Lives for.
Ill pray for you God Bless you, Prayer Knowing God is near is powerful stuff
But there is a good news factor as well, that exceeds your abilities not just alone, but at all in your power in the totality of the victory of life. The second half of that verse says,:
"...but if you lose your life for my sake, you will find it."
If you stop trying and stop and surrender all, He will invest in you, as He already is now in calling you, and as He does invest, you just simply do as to what He makes clear for you to do and you will begin to have His life in earnest. Your New Creation.
Effective effort only comes thru His Spirits directives and will. God loves you and has a life for you, for He is the way and truth as well.
"...but if you lose your life for my sake, you will find it."
If you stop trying and stop and surrender all, He will invest in you, as He already is now in calling you, and as He does invest, you just simply do as to what He makes clear for you to do and you will begin to have His life in earnest. Your New Creation.
Effective effort only comes thru His Spirits directives and will. God loves you and has a life for you, for He is the way and truth as well.
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I take my failures, as proven testimony of my weaknesses, even when I hurt others. I felt so dirty still, how could God ever forgive a filthy beast like me. Yet, he says he does. I find it okay to hate one self to a certain point, it helps me not to be that person from before. Please trust in God with healing you, of your hurts, and hatreds. Praying for you
God Bless you Seekingfamily for letting God use you in that song. I loved how the words read: I am Scripture; God knows what He has planted. It shows how miraculous our emergence with Our Lord Jesus Christ really is, how we are the life of Christ lived out within a person; that being ourselves, whom will be truly transformed from Death into life in vivid color. It is a process of agony and development as His gift of life and innocence and freedom liberates us and enables us in our walking in the world. It reminds me of this Scripture, (does your song):
[h=1](Psalm 100:3): ...New American Standard Bible (NASB)[/h]3 Know that the Lord Himself is God;
It is He who has made us, and not we ourselves;
We are His people and the sheep of His pasture.
Graze and be amazed! For He will change and enlighten all things of our lives, as we receive His Best.
[h=1](Psalm 100:3): ...New American Standard Bible (NASB)[/h]3 Know that the Lord Himself is God;
It is He who has made us, and not we ourselves;
We are His people and the sheep of His pasture.
Graze and be amazed! For He will change and enlighten all things of our lives, as we receive His Best.
J
well that you realize you can't forgive yourself is actually a good thing,God is the only one who can truly "forgive" anyone,I myself have a very detailed and extensive memory,which means nearly everyday,I remember something wrong I've done and have to live with it,the past cannot be changed,but once you accept Jesus as your saviour and are saved and baptized you are a new creature,and what also brings comfort is that once you do this,your past is not to be mentioned unto you,meaning your past is not a burden to you anymore after this,because when you give your life and time to God,your past wrong doings will no longer trouble you so heavily because the holy spirit will bring to mind all the "good" things you have done,so that you don't dwell on the past,just as the bible states...who so ever tilleth the ground and looks back is not fit for the kingdom of heaven,as in your past cannot hurt you or lay hold on you so don't seek it anymore,because all that this does is give satan a way to mess with your mind,for you think you hate yourself,but you don't,your supposed "hate" is just thoughts of remorse for wrong doings,and all you really,"hate"'is your "wrong" ways,many a Christian feels this way,this is how we come to God "TRULY"'in the first place we realize that we do wrong or have done wrong,and know enough that this is "sin" and also realize that we cannot "do right" without God,so I would suggest that here and now or when you feel you want to truly have God in your life,find a quiet place,in your home,ask God to save your soul in your own words,sincerely knowing that you need God,accept Jesus as your saviour,and this will start your path to walk with God away from your past and later willingly be baptized in the name of the father,the son,and the holy ghost/spirit,then not only will you be less hurt in your heart,but you can learn from your experience,learn the holy bible alongside the holy spirit,and in time teach others of the bible or even teach someone who supposedly "hates" their self,that this is not true at all and just how you came to learn the "TRUTH" about this "Lie" the devil puts in people's minds!
I pray God willing that you shall be free from the chains of the past through God!
I pray God willing that you shall be free from the chains of the past through God!
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Ive been there, and i know what it's like.. The mind can/will turn a person against them self sometimes.. The answer to that is to take the focus off yourself and put it on God and what He thinks about you. Healing comes when you put faith in what God says over what you or anyone else says or thinks. part of renewing the mind is casting those old thoughts down and just agreeing with God.. putting opinions, convictions and pretty much any type of thought that tries to get in the way down... The more you focus on yourself, the more you see yourself, and the more problems the mind will try to generate.
Instead focus on God and who He is, and from that you will change and find a new identity... in Matthew 16:25 Jesus wasn't just talking about literal death/ losing your life, He was talking about identity... same in Matthew 16:24.. letting go of self and instead following Him.
Instead focus on God and who He is, and from that you will change and find a new identity... in Matthew 16:25 Jesus wasn't just talking about literal death/ losing your life, He was talking about identity... same in Matthew 16:24.. letting go of self and instead following Him.
It could be more than one thing. When we repent of our sin, our problems fade. Without repentance, there will always be suffering. I'd start there. If you've already repented of your sin - things like immoral lust, pride, and substance abuse - then maybe there is some simple lifestyle change the Lord wants you to make.
And that brings me to another extremely important point: We should be constantly praying (1 Thessalonians 5:17). When we are constantly praying, we are walking with the Lord and receiving his guidance.
And that brings me to another extremely important point: We should be constantly praying (1 Thessalonians 5:17). When we are constantly praying, we are walking with the Lord and receiving his guidance.