Severe self hatred

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J

joefizz

Guest
#41
#41
WineRose said:
Aw man, I wish I could help, but let's just say I'm not exactly the best counselor in the world...so I'll just hope that you find peace :)

And here is a free complimentary meme from me:

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I agree let us replace all hate with cute and funny animal memes!
 
S

Stewart

Guest
#43
#43
Fubar said:
Ok. I'm back. More messed up than ever. The pain doesn't go away. The hurt doesn't go away. The self loathing is at such an incredible level. I pray for help. I pray for understanding. I pray for escape. It's crazy that I was able (with God's help) to make myself better physically, but mentally I'm a total disaster. Getting worse all the time. Getting harder to hide it from people too. That's bad. Once it gets out how screwed up I am, I'm really done. Maybe that's what I need. To get pushed over the edge. This really sucks.
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Hi fubar I have just come across your cry find help.Mate I am very sorry that you are going through such a traumatic tine.As you can see from the response from the others that we do care about you mate regardless of what you have done to others and gods view towards you is exactly the same.

I have been in a situation over 20 years ago in terms of being in a bad way and I became suicidal and was actually living against my will yet I knew I couldn't kill myself because I was a christian and I know there is a hell and a heaven.I was going through a really really tough time and cried out to god but nothing changed and in fact things got a lot worse.At the time It seemed as though god wasn't there at all and despite my desperate cries to god to help....nothing changed.

I eventually got involved with the wrong crowd and descended into the world of drugs, mental illness,risks of being arrested,killed as well as the risk of violence and terrible satanic experience
 
blue_ladybug

blue_ladybug

Senior Member
#44
Feb 21, 2014
70,869
9,601
113
#44
God does His best work on the broken, rejected screw ups.. :)
 
S

Stewart

Guest
#45
#45
Fubar..my iPad froze....got it going again...gonna continue my message to you...
 
S

Stewart

Guest
#46
#46
blue_ladybug said:
God does His best work on the broken, rejected screw ups.. :)
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we are all screw ups!!!we live in a fallen world full of sin and darkness.(praise god for Jesus Christ!!)
It is just that we are all damaged by different things and have different levels of pain and trauma living with!
God wants to restore us once we become his child.

The deeper the depth a person comes out from..the more god is glorified!!
 
S

Stewart

Guest
#47
#47
Stewart said:
Hi fubar I have just come across your cry find help.Mate I am very sorry that you are going through such a traumatic tine.As you can see from the response from the others that we do care about you mate regardless of what you have done to others and gods view towards you is exactly the same.

I have been in a situation over 20 years ago in terms of being in a bad way and I became suicidal and was actually living against my will yet I knew I couldn't kill myself because I was a christian and I know there is a hell and a heaven.I was going through a really really tough time and cried out to god but nothing changed and in fact things got a lot worse.At the time It seemed as though god wasn't there at all and despite my desperate cries to god to help....nothing changed.

I eventually got involved with the wrong crowd and descended into the world of drugs, mental illness,risks of being arrested,killed as well as the risk of violence and terrible satanic experience
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I was in this situation for a while and what turned thing around was a situation where I should of been involved in a terrible car crash...but somehow god prevented it from happening.I knew god was pre warning me to repent and return to him or I was most definatley gonna die..Yet I was in such a bad way ..suffering mental illness and a lot of other terrible things going on...it took me about 20mins to choose gods way because I no longer trusted him.This was around 1994.

whats the point of telling you this????
my dear brother there are certain roads people have walked in life that others may not have walked..but belive me bro..I am living proof that miracles DO HAPPEN.Mentally I was in a bad way due to suffering mental illness and god knows the level of mental pressure you're going through.Yes you have hurt other people yes you are aware of what you belive could happen when others know about what's going on.
Brother the devil is a liar..there is hope for you and a way out.You may not have the emotional and mental strength to set yourself free.However almighty god (as you already know) has the power to deliver you and he Will give you the courage to forgive yourself (in time) -and he wants to break those strongholds that are crushing you.
This is a real situation and one of the key things here (other than us praying for you bro) is support from a local church near you that believes in the Holy Spirit and the gifts of the spirit??

You cannot fight this on your own and there must be somewhere where you can go and receive the necessary spiritual support via counselling..prayer and you being ready to confront the truth about yourself inorder to become the person you really want to be...
 
Rosemaryx

Rosemaryx

Senior Member
#48
May 3, 2017
3,719
4,080
113
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#48
Fubar said:
I turn to God all the time. Now I'm turning to whoever reads this. Thank you for your prayers. I thank you for the opportunity to vent. I just can't figure out what good I am to the rest of humanity. I've hurt a lot of people. And I've been hurt. I'd rather be hurt a million times if I could take away the hurt I've caused. I can't forgive myself for the mistakes I've made, but I especially can't for the mistakes I didn't make. So many missed opportunities. So much regret. And to top it off I can't forgive myself. I can forgive others, but not myself. I'm supposed to treat other how I wish to be treated. To love others as myself. That would not be good in my case. I can't stop hating myself.
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Dearest Furbar...Oh what a wonderful sensitive heart you have that our Almighty God has given you...If you had no conscience to your past sins then i would not even bother writing to you...We are not told by God to put our Spiritual armor on for nothing, we need it for times like what you are going through, to shield us against the fiery darts that the evil one aims at us to bring us down...Now the devil knows your mind can be weak so he will aim for that, take yourself away with God and study Scripture on Being transformed, it sounds like the evil one has you under heavy condemnation, God did not give us a spirit of fear, you can not do anything in your own strength so stop trying, Jesus said rest in Him, and He meant it, remember who you are in Christ, get yourself a pen and paper and write a few Scriptures down reminding yourself that you are a new creation in Christ, we have all sinned and fallen short to the glory of God, now stop beating yourself up, fan the flame of the Holy Spirit, polish your armor suit and march, you are a saint...xox...
 
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