Page 1 of 2 12 LastLast
Results 1 to 20 of 23
Like Tree56Likes

Miscellaneous

Random topics from random people!

Thread: Good clean Christian Humor

  1. #1
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    November 6th, 2017
    Age
    29
    Posts
    194
    Rep Power
    15

    Default Good clean Christian Humor

    So....I have decided to make a thread with good clean Christian jokes and humor. Anything you see or come up with, Christian memes, jokes, one liners, post them here on this thread, but please only good clean Christian jokes I'll start it with one I heard a while back.

    So one day a man was sleeping in his bed when his wife woke him up on Sunday. Still half asleep and groggy, he looked at his wife and scowled saying, "I don't wanna go to church this morning!" She asked him why and his reply was, "Those folks down there don't appreciate me one single bit!" Her reply, "Well you gotta go!" "Oh yeah, why's that?" She said, "Cause you're the pastor!"

  2. #2
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    September 17th, 2014
    Age
    52
    Posts
    3,210
    Blog Entries
    4
    Rep Power
    51

    Default Re: Good clean Christian Humor

    Hi michael,
    Maybe it's the same feeling some of our pastors truly feel, coz we often dont appreciate them one single bit, even shake their hand to say thank you after the message??.. I am still looking for that joke to post, so wait!

  3. #3
    Senior Member Innerfire89's Avatar
    Join Date
    August 23rd, 2017
    Posts
    569
    Rep Power
    21

    Default Re: Good clean Christian Humor

    a burgeler broke into a house at night when he knew the family was out. He snuck into a widow and started looking around with his flashlight when he heard a voice say, "Jesus Is watching you!"
    He he turned around and found a parrot in the corner of the room. He asked the parrot what it's name was an it answered "Moses." Then he asked "What kind of people name their parrot Moses?" The parrot answered "The kind of people who name their pit bull Jesus."
    Grandpa, Pipp, kaylagrl and 4 others like this.
    Matthew 22:37
    "Love the Lord your God with all your heart, all your soul, and all your mind" and " Love your neighbor as you love yourself."


    A dog barks when his master is attacked. I would be a coward if I saw God's truth attacked and yet keep silent. John Calvin

  4. #4
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    November 6th, 2017
    Age
    29
    Posts
    194
    Rep Power
    15

    Default Re: Good clean Christian Humor

    Pastor Derrick, who was not
    averse to berating his congregation for abusing the Sabbath, still liked to lay out "sick" on an occasional Sunday morning to play golf

    At crack of dawn one
    midsummer morning, he was spotted on the tenth tee one Sunday by an angel; and
    the angel was much annoyed.


    "Father, he should be
    punished!" he said as he reported the miscreant to God.


    "And so he shall be, my son.
    Watch this!" the heavenly Father replied. The pastor teed off on the
    335 yard, par four hole, and his ball arced gracefully in direct line with the
    pin. It dropped onto the green and a gentle breeze caught it and carried it a
    few.feet right into the hole. The angel turned to God with a puzzled look on his face.

    "Father, I thought you were
    going to punish him and instead you've given him what every golfer dreams of - a
    hole in one!!"

    The good Lord smiled. "I
    have punished him! Who can he tell?"

    Oncefallen, Lynx, kaylagrl and 6 others like this.

  5. #5
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    December 16th, 2016
    Age
    66
    Posts
    571
    Rep Power
    17

    Default Re: Good clean Christian Humor

    great one!

  6. #6
    Senior Member BillG's Avatar
    Join Date
    February 15th, 2017
    Age
    49
    Posts
    3,155
    Rep Power
    165

    Default Re: Good clean Christian Humor

    Lord

    Help me to be the person my dog thinks I am.

  7. #7
    Senior Member BillG's Avatar
    Join Date
    February 15th, 2017
    Age
    49
    Posts
    3,155
    Rep Power
    165

    Default Re: Good clean Christian Humor

    Lord

    Help me to be the person my dog thinks I am.

  8. #8
    Senior Member BillG's Avatar
    Join Date
    February 15th, 2017
    Age
    49
    Posts
    3,155
    Rep Power
    165

    Default Re: Good clean Christian Humor

    kaylagrl likes this.
    Lord

    Help me to be the person my dog thinks I am.

  9. #9
    Senior Member Socreta93's Avatar
    Join Date
    July 28th, 2015
    Age
    24
    Posts
    1,320
    Blog Entries
    13
    Rep Power
    37

    Default Re: Good clean Christian Humor

    BillG likes this.
    “Every man has his secret sorrows which the world knows not; and often times we call a man cold when he is only sad.”
    Henry Wadsworth Longfellow



    "Too often we underestimate the power of a touch, a smile, a kind word, a listening ear, an honest compliment, or the smallest act of caring, all of which have the potential to turn a life around." - Leo Buscaglia

  10. #10
    Senior Member Socreta93's Avatar
    Join Date
    July 28th, 2015
    Age
    24
    Posts
    1,320
    Blog Entries
    13
    Rep Power
    37

    Default Re: Good clean Christian Humor

    Grandpa and Innerfire89 like this.
    “Every man has his secret sorrows which the world knows not; and often times we call a man cold when he is only sad.”
    Henry Wadsworth Longfellow



    "Too often we underestimate the power of a touch, a smile, a kind word, a listening ear, an honest compliment, or the smallest act of caring, all of which have the potential to turn a life around." - Leo Buscaglia

  11. #11
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    November 6th, 2017
    Age
    29
    Posts
    194
    Rep Power
    15

    Default Re: Good clean Christian Humor

    Grandpa and kaylagrl like this.

  12. #12
    Senior Member notmyown's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 26th, 2016
    Age
    58
    Posts
    3,151
    Rep Power
    225

    Default Re: Good clean Christian Humor

    Grandpa, Tinuviel, BillG and 1 others like this.

  13. #13
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    November 6th, 2017
    Age
    29
    Posts
    194
    Rep Power
    15

    Default Re: Good clean Christian Humor

    Susie, who was six years old was sitting in her first grade class one morning when the teacher said, "Today we are going to learn about whales. Did you know that it is physically impossible for a whale to swallow a human being? Science has proven that the jaws and alignments and structure make it nearly impossible for a whale to swallow a human." Susie, who always paid attention in Sunday school, stood up and spoke up, "But what about Jonah, he was swallowed by one and he survived to tell about it?!" The teacher, "I'm telling you, it's scientifically proven that a whale cannot swallow a human being." Susie said before she sat down, "Well, when I get to heaven, I'm going to ask Jonah." The teacher said, "But what if Jonah didn't go to Heaven?" Susies reply, "Then you ask him!"
    Grandpa and kaylagrl like this.

  14. #14
    Senior Member mailmandan's Avatar
    Join Date
    April 7th, 2014
    Age
    51
    Posts
    12,499
    Rep Power
    292

    Default Re: Good clean Christian Humor

    kaylagrl, joefizz and HannahA like this.
    I'm not a bad guy. I'm just misunderstood.

    Galatians 6:14 - But God forbid that I should boast except in the cross of our Lord Jesus Christ, by whom the world has been crucified to me, and I to the world.

  15. #15
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    November 6th, 2017
    Age
    29
    Posts
    194
    Rep Power
    15

    Default Re: Good clean Christian Humor

    Everyone is posting some serious stuff, so I thought I'd come here and post something a little on the light side, maybe to brighten everyone up a little and get a chuckle and a laugh.

    So it's summertime in the Bronx, where a widowed man and his son lived. After his wife's passing, he decided the best thing to do would be to send his son to some of the local churches and see what they were like, since neither one of them had been to church before. So one morning he sends his son off to a local Baptist church near their street for Sunday school one morning. It wasn't but about 20 minutes later that the son comes home to his daddy, scared out of his mind like he'd seen a ghost. His dad asked him, "Son, what are you doing back home?! You're supposed to be in Sunday school right now!" The son replied, "Deddy, they's teaching awful horrible things down there at dat there church. I don't think knowing God gonna be for us." The dad, puzzled, asked his son what they were teaching, and the son's reply, "Well, I hear the youth pastor say that God said that, "If you draw a knife upon me, i'll draw a knife upon you!"
    kaylagrl likes this.

  16. #16
    Senior Member Demi777's Avatar
    Join Date
    October 13th, 2014
    Age
    17
    Posts
    4,856
    Blog Entries
    45
    Rep Power
    124

    Default Re: Good clean Christian Humor

    I was trying to be cool with a friend walking backwards rapping “ice ice baby“ and when i tuned around i walked right into a wall....
    joefizz likes this.
    God bless you
    ~*~Demi777 ~*~

    My Testimony:
    http://christianchat.com/testimonies...shortened.html

  17. #17
    Senior Member mailmandan's Avatar
    Join Date
    April 7th, 2014
    Age
    51
    Posts
    12,499
    Rep Power
    292

    Default Re: Good clean Christian Humor

    Who was the funniest person in the Bible?
    Sampson. He brought the house down.

    Who was the greatest financier in the Bible?
    Noah. He was floating his stock while everyone else was in liquidation.
    Demi777, kaylagrl and joefizz like this.
    I'm not a bad guy. I'm just misunderstood.

    Galatians 6:14 - But God forbid that I should boast except in the cross of our Lord Jesus Christ, by whom the world has been crucified to me, and I to the world.

  18. #18
    Senior Member mailmandan's Avatar
    Join Date
    April 7th, 2014
    Age
    51
    Posts
    12,499
    Rep Power
    292

    Default Re: Good clean Christian Humor

    What is the difference between Catholics and Baptists? Catholics will actually acknowledge each other at the liquor store.
    Demi777 and kaylagrl like this.
    I'm not a bad guy. I'm just misunderstood.

    Galatians 6:14 - But God forbid that I should boast except in the cross of our Lord Jesus Christ, by whom the world has been crucified to me, and I to the world.

  19. #19
    Senior Member joefizz's Avatar
    Join Date
    April 23rd, 2017
    Age
    25
    Posts
    7,110
    Rep Power
    102

    Default Re: Good clean Christian Humor

    Quote Originally Posted by MichaelOwen View Post
    Pastor Derrick, who was not
    averse to berating his congregation for abusing the Sabbath, still liked to lay out "sick" on an occasional Sunday morning to play golf

    At crack of dawn one
    midsummer morning, he was spotted on the tenth tee one Sunday by an angel; and
    the angel was much annoyed.


    "Father, he should be
    punished!" he said as he reported the miscreant to God.


    "And so he shall be, my son.
    Watch this!" the heavenly Father replied. The pastor teed off on the
    335 yard, par four hole, and his ball arced gracefully in direct line with the
    pin. It dropped onto the green and a gentle breeze caught it and carried it a
    few.feet right into the hole. The angel turned to God with a puzzled look on his face.

    "Father, I thought you were
    going to punish him and instead you've given him what every golfer dreams of - a
    hole in one!!"

    The good Lord smiled. "I
    have punished him! Who can he tell?"

    Took me awhile to get this one,the guy can't tell anyone he got a hole in one because he would have to admit that he laid out from church and wasn't sick!
    kaylagrl likes this.
    King of randomness here,everyone take notice!

    If you don't believe in true love then please don't tell me not to believe in it because I believe it to be real.

    You are perfect?
    self righteousness is as filthy rags the bible says.
    You might wanna reconsider that ideal.

    We are all family in God's eyes,so please at least try to get along,sincerely, a child of God.

  20. #20
    Senior Member joefizz's Avatar
    Join Date
    April 23rd, 2017
    Age
    25
    Posts
    7,110
    Rep Power
    102

    Default Re: Good clean Christian Humor

    Lumber Jack:I heard you saw logs what inspires you to do so!?
    Church member: everytime the pastor starts talking I start sawing...
    King of randomness here,everyone take notice!

    If you don't believe in true love then please don't tell me not to believe in it because I believe it to be real.

    You are perfect?
    self righteousness is as filthy rags the bible says.
    You might wanna reconsider that ideal.

    We are all family in God's eyes,so please at least try to get along,sincerely, a child of God.

Page 1 of 2 12 LastLast

Similar Threads

  1. Christian Cuss'n (Humor)
    By Test_F_i_2_Luv in forum Miscellaneous
    Replies: 0
    Last Post: April 9th, 2016, 01:09 AM
  2. Replies: 3
    Last Post: June 30th, 2015, 11:46 PM
  3. How about some Good Clean Humor
    By ptlman in forum Christian Singles Forum
    Replies: 2
    Last Post: July 23rd, 2013, 12:29 PM
  4. good clean family oriented tv shows any suggestions?
    By chellebee in forum Miscellaneous
    Replies: 7
    Last Post: July 5th, 2012, 02:23 AM
  5. Clean Christian Joke
    By ProudLibertarian in forum Miscellaneous
    Replies: 3
    Last Post: March 4th, 2010, 10:51 PM