There is one thing I miss terribly. It is the absolute hunger for God. Even here, typing this, these words fail, completely, to capture what I'm saying...feeling...or, rather, what I am no longer feeling.
Or, I guess that isn't accurate. I feel the hunger. Yes. I am hungry. But not ravenous. Does that make sense? I know that my soul, my spirit, my heart, is crying out, "Lord Jesus! Lord Jesus! Come! I am famished for You!" And my flesh, my horrid flesh, consumes itself on the gluttonous treats of this earth: movies and internet and games and distractions galore.
I am desperate to return to the feast and sit with His banner of love waving above me, to sit and feast in His presence on His word, to see His face, to feel His embrace, to know Him. I miss knowing Him. I think that only people who have ever been in a place where they have sat at His feet, rested in His embrace, felt His smile upon them, can fully appreciate what I am lacking and why, without that closeness, life is never satisfying.
For so many years, I played church and I was content to do so. But, once you've been to the very throne room of God, once you've sat with Jesus and heard His voice, felt His embrace, knew His presence like never before, well, then status quo doesn't work anymore.
Hungry? Yes. So very. Now, if I could only get my flesh back into its proper place of submission so that my hunger can be satisfied, oh, how amazing my life will be. How very rich and amazing!
Are you hungry? Do you know what I'm sharing here, what I'm saying? So very hungry...
<span class="gmw_">[video=youtube;s9l9ZGQcExc]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s9l9ZGQcExc[/video]
Or, I guess that isn't accurate. I feel the hunger. Yes. I am hungry. But not ravenous. Does that make sense? I know that my soul, my spirit, my heart, is crying out, "Lord Jesus! Lord Jesus! Come! I am famished for You!" And my flesh, my horrid flesh, consumes itself on the gluttonous treats of this earth: movies and internet and games and distractions galore.
I am desperate to return to the feast and sit with His banner of love waving above me, to sit and feast in His presence on His word, to see His face, to feel His embrace, to know Him. I miss knowing Him. I think that only people who have ever been in a place where they have sat at His feet, rested in His embrace, felt His smile upon them, can fully appreciate what I am lacking and why, without that closeness, life is never satisfying.
For so many years, I played church and I was content to do so. But, once you've been to the very throne room of God, once you've sat with Jesus and heard His voice, felt His embrace, knew His presence like never before, well, then status quo doesn't work anymore.
Hungry? Yes. So very. Now, if I could only get my flesh back into its proper place of submission so that my hunger can be satisfied, oh, how amazing my life will be. How very rich and amazing!
Are you hungry? Do you know what I'm sharing here, what I'm saying? So very hungry...
<span class="gmw_">[video=youtube;s9l9ZGQcExc]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s9l9ZGQcExc[/video]