food for thought , light to the soul, inspirational quotes or thoughts poem s

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royalscot

royalscot

Banned
#141
Jan 27, 2013
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#141
[h=3]Sunday School[/h]


Little Mary was not the best student in Sunday school. Usually she slept through the class.

One day the teacher called on her while she was napping, "Tell me, Mary, who created the universe?"

When Mary didn't stir, little Johnny, an altruistic boy seated in the chair behind her, took a pin and jabbed her in the rear.

"God Almighty !" shouted Mary.

The teacher said, "Very good!" and Mary fell back to sleep.

A while later the teacher asked Mary, "Who is our Lord and Savior?", but Mary didn't even stir from her slumber.

Once again, Johnny came to the rescue and stuck her again.

"Jesus Christ!" shouted Mary.

The teacher said, "Very good!" and Mary fell back to sleep.

Then the teacher asked Mary a third question, "What did Eve say to Adam after she had her twenty-third child?"

Again, Johnny jabbed her with the pin. This time Mary jumped up and shouted, "If you stick that damn thing in me one more time, I'll break it in half!"
 
royalscot

royalscot

Banned
#142
Jan 27, 2013
4,769
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#142
[h=3]The Last Request[/h]


Father O'Grady was saying his goodbyes to the parishioners after his Sunday morning service as he always does when Mary Clancey came up to him in tears.

"What's bothering you so, dear?" inquired Farther O'Grady.

"Oh, father, I've got terrible news," replied Mary.

"Well what is it, Mary?"

"Well, my husband, passed away last night, Father."

"Oh, Mary" said the father, "that's terrible. Tell me Mary, did he have any last requests?"

"Well, yes he did father," replied Mary.

"What did he ask, Mary?"

Mary replied, "He said, 'Please, Mary, put down the gun...'"
 
royalscot

royalscot

Banned
#143
Jan 27, 2013
4,769
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#143
[h=3]Good Lord![/h]


A Lutheran minister is driving down to New York to see the radio show and he's stopped in Connecticut for speeding. The state trooper smells alcohol on his breath and then he sees an empty wine bottle on the floor, and he says, "Sir, have you been drinking?"

And the minister says, "Just water."

The sheriff says, "Then why do I smell wine?"

And the minister looks down at the bottle and says, "Good Lord, He's done it again!"
 
royalscot

royalscot

Banned
#144
Jan 27, 2013
4,769
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#144
[h=3]Boy and Priest[/h]


A boy finished cutting the lawn of a priest... The grass was very thick and long, and it took the boy about 4 hours to cut. He approached the Father for payment and the priest paid him $1.00.

The boy said "Thank you, virgin Father!"

The priest replied, "What did you say?"

The boy repeated, "Thank you, virgin Father!"

The priest asked him, "Do you know what that means?"

The boy replied, "Yes... tight ass!"
 
royalscot

royalscot

Banned
#145
Jan 27, 2013
4,769
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#145
[h=3]Four Catholic Ladies[/h]


Four Catholic ladies are having coffee together, discussing how important their children are. The first one tells her friends, 'My son is a priest. When he walks into a room, everyone calls him "Father".'

The second Catholic woman chirps, 'Well, my son is an Archbishop. Whenever he walks into a room, people say, "Your Grace".'


The third Catholic woman says smugly, 'Well, not to put you down, but my son is a Cardinal. Whenever he walks into a room, people say, "Your Eminence".'

The fourth Catholic woman sips her coffee in silence.

The first three women give her this subtle 'Well...?'

She replies, 'My son is a gorgeous, 6'4", hard-bodied, well-hung, male stripper. Whenever he walks into a room, women say, "Oh, my God..."
 
royalscot

royalscot

Banned
#150
Jan 27, 2013
4,769
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#150
Theist, Deist, Atheist, Agnostic. A theist believes there is a God who made and governs all creation; but does not believe in the doctrine of the Trinity, nor in a divine revelation. A deist believes there is a God who created all things, but does not believe in His superintendence and government.

strange, what name is your god.

.18 Whoever believes in him is not condemned, but whoever does not believe is condemned already, because he has not believed in the name of the only Son of God.

and to think why tell other to write a book or an account of passed history that is now called the holy bible. if your going to believe what you want.


"Thou shalt not troll on the forums, lest ye shall be condemned."
- Memevelations 1:5

a troll is a liar , and has many faces. and many different names. only a fool is blind by human opinions. when the good book is clear, to the prudent.
yet opinion of a troll is easy to see, it cannot read or understand it already been exposed, by there own different profile cahoot opinion.




 
royalscot

royalscot

Banned
#151
Jan 27, 2013
4,769
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#151
its the truth that sets you free.

john 10 v1
"Truly, truly, I say to you, he who does not enter the sheepfold by the door but climbs in by another way, that man is a thief and a robber.

cor2 v8 For we cannot do anything against the truth, but only for the truth

that would be because it is not humans truth , you have are believing in.


8 v32 and you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free."

who s truth will set you free, and who do you need to believe in to receive that truth.
 
royalscot

royalscot

Banned
#152
Jan 27, 2013
4,769
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#152
the power of lie , will always be a lie. no matter the reasoning used.(royalscot)

bind your own lies first, then you will be clear to understand the god of love. (royalscot)

the pen is mightier that the sword, that s why your reading a christian bible around 2000 years on. (royalscot)
 
royalscot

royalscot

Banned
#153
Jan 27, 2013
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#153
jesus dose not listen to liars .

when you can control air , you will not need the power of ?????

bye bye
 
royalscot

royalscot

Banned
#156
Jan 27, 2013
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#156
WineRose said:
Click to expand...
who cares who you kissed, god can uphold your private life. called unmerited favour to all nations. why are you telling me.
unmerited faviour is for all.
 
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royalscot

royalscot

Banned
#157
Jan 27, 2013
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#157
and to think, one prayer from me, covers the whole glob. the question is, what did you predict , in your life, sing if you want, the winner takes it all. (quoted by ... --- ...)
 
royalscot

royalscot

Banned
#158
Jan 27, 2013
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#158
i had a thought, but could not prove , who gave me that thought . yet i quote this.
 
royalscot

royalscot

Banned
#159
Jan 27, 2013
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#159
strange how you can say person A is going to hell , yet can not see your self going to hell.
 
royalscot

royalscot

Banned
#160
Jan 27, 2013
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#160
\0/ .................................... hands raised , if you understand the lesson. usa
 
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