Im not sure what im still doing wrong

Im trying ... I really am. Things seam to be getting worse instead of better... here's a look at what has happened in my life and where I've messed up.

I was married for 15 years. I tried very hard to make it work and I don't mean just, I tried. God was involved for most of it. I should have let God deal with all of it but it in the past. Anyway ... there where signs before we got married. But I looked passed them. I was a new christian then and I really wasn't practicing what I should have been. Let's just say she did somethings that I forgave her for that most would have left for. After marriage things where rough and over the next 15 years I setup many counseling sessions and none of them worked. I didn't say much at them except for the last one because I didn't want a fight or anything. The last one the counselor made me talk and it didn't go to well. 2 years before my decision for divorce we where in Mexico for one of her work trips and I almost drown. A man helped me in when I got close enough to the beach and took me to go sit down. My ex looked at me and said " im going to go hang out with my friends " I never in my life felt as alone as I did then at that moment. That was pretty much the last straw...

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In the next 2 years my son got sick and was in and out of hospitals for a year and I even posted a video on youtube in hopes that someone might be able to help. During that time I took a new position at work and I want able to be at all the training and was moved to another area that will be my demise here after 13 years for working for them. The good news is that after all that time in the hospitals we where told my son has turrets and he is very much not effected by it and has lots of friends. Now I've been divorced for over 2 years and im loosing my house, job, alone in Ohio because all of my family is in Illinois. I have apologized about the divorce to my ex, kids, inlaws, church and God. I read the book Blessings and curses and examined my life and have gone to extra effort to make sure I keep my life as christ like as I can. All I keep thinking is " when God? When will this be all over? When will I get my miracle " . I keep faith and look to God for everything. I ask, pray and listen and nothing yet... does my life need to get to the point like Job's did before something happens. Now my relationship with my 16 year old daughter is falling apart and im letting my house go because its becoming to hard to keep up with everything. My life is one catastrophe away from completely falling apart. All I here from the few people that really know what's going on in my life is... I wish I could help. So what good is it to talk to anyone when no one but God can help and im still waiting to find out what im suppose to learn from all of this.

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I don't know the ways of God, He is difficult to figure out.... but sometimes He let's people go through things so that they can later be used for His glory.

And as Jesus passed by, he saw a man which was blind from his birth. And his disciples asked him, saying, Master, who did sin, this man, or his parents, that he was born blind? Jesus answered, Neither has this man sinned, nor his parents: but that the works of God should be made manifest in him. (John 9: 1-3

Im waiting for Gods will for me. I hear people tell me how they where in a similar situation and God blessed them. To tell you the truth, im happy for them... I really am, but all I can think is why not me? Why hasnt God helped me yet? Am I not as important as that person that he just helped me? What have I done that im stuck like this still? Im told to keep faith and wait and listen. To pray and fast. To ask, seek and knock... so I wait, for how long? Till im dead? I pray and fast, I don't eat for days and pray and cry out for help. I ask, not just for me but what God want me to do for him. I seek, I leave no rock or leaf unturned and I knock, I kick I scream... im on my knees and for how much longer? Am I not more worthy than the birds?

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Your despair appears to be similar to what I used to have... I thought about Job too...

My problems have some-thing to do with evil spirits. During my deliverance, once I was troubled by ghosts... Another time, the spirits cast out of me would re-enter me... I felt drained then... And when I read testimonies about people's happy salvation from darkness, I felt so bad...

If you've been good enough (don't misunderstand, it's just because I don't really know why God isn't helping you obviously...), then...

In the two predicaments of mine, I submitted my prayer requests to an online prayer team, and their help have been great...

So, Have you tried to ask any online prayer team to pray for you... ?

Because they may have many members, when they're praying for you, God should soften more... I think He did for me. ♥

And, if you're going to find a prayer team for yourself, I think those websites where you can sense divine love, they may help you better... It's like finding a beloved church... ♥


PS My English isn't very good now... What's 'turrets'? Do you mean Tourette's syndrome... ?

PS My English isn't very good now... What's 'turrets'? Do you mean Tourette's syndrome...

Yes. Sorry about that. Tourettes


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We have spritiual battleship in our mind every day. Sometimes we see our problem bigger than everything. Hmmm.. If God decide to give u problem, just believe and be faithful that God will give u a solution. Be with God and be faithful. We just need see the problem with righteous eyes not by your eyes so u can see the good things that God already create for u, believe me that God give u a grace to overcome your strenghthold.

If you faint in the day of adversity, Your strength is small (proverbs 24:10)

But you are a chosen generation, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, His own special people, that you may proclaim the praises of Him who called you out of darkness into His marvelous light (1 Peter 2:9)

These will make war with the Lamb, and the Lamb will overcome them, for He is Lord of lords and King of kings; and those who are with Him are called, chosen, and faithful.” (Revelation 17:14)

God give a strenght and His grace for u. I pray God will help u to solve this problem. He will show u His glorious from your problem

OFM, i'm inspired from the sermon today about spiritual battleship

ONLY GOD can turn a MESS into MESSAGE, TEST into TESTIMONY, TRIAL into TRIUMPH, VICTIM into VICTORY, maybe we don't what God's purpose behind our problem cause we think "Hey my Giant is too big, i'm so weary to carried my problem and nobody understand me" and yeah we forget that "Hey we also have Almighty God and i can handle this with Him". Problem make me so hopeless and my heart so fainted, so when i choose to be faithful and wait God even i don't know until when, i see His glorious from the experience that God already teach me, yup He touch me bout stand still with Him and my response when i must face my giant and it become a Testimony, just wait cause God's timing is perfect for us, not too late and not too early.. be blessed

I was in a similar situation several years ago, and was lost in the lukewarm church that takes those in struggles and sends them to a counselor, or a good 12 step program, accountability group etc.. none worked, I lost just about everything due to my sins and lust, plus alot of idolatry etc..

God took everything I held dear away, I fell on my face in total hopelessness, crying out to Him, left the church, and sought His face and word apart from the apostate church, who just says to pray more, get a good counselor and all will be well, it will pass.

BUT, God is waiting for us to repent, to seek His mercy, and forsake all known sin against Him, make amends where possible, and come clean before Him!

I did this, through real repentance and faith, had a crisis of conviction that lasted many months, as I mourned over the sin and excess in my life.

God then led me out of my pig pen, into His arms and power, to walk a life pleasing to Him, on the narrow road, I lost my professional job, all my so called friends abandoned me, most of all my vast possessions and greed, but through it all I gained my savior back!

God is waiting for us to repent and seek His mercy, He is long suffering, not wanting anyone to perish, but we must do out part and He will do His.

Apart from repentance and faith proven by deeds there is no salvation, God is waiting for us to repent and seek His mercy! 2 Cor 7-10-11.

He will guide you through every step of the way, but the heart must be right before Him, which is humility, brokenness, and a strong desire for His word, you have no control over others and their decisions, they will be accountable to God for those, but you do for yourself,. so repent, seek His mercy, and He will guide you through your storm, you cannot hang onto any bitterness, fear, or doubts, and especially sins of the flesh that are holding you down.

When asked the question, do you have to stop sinning in order to be saved, and receive the mercy of God, many pastors, ministers, and professing Christians will proudly boast, NO! If we could stop sinning, then we wouldn't need Jesus!
Is this the truth? Does Jesus look the other way when we come to Him, still wallowing in our vile sins? 1Jn 3:8 He that committeth sin is of the devil; for the devil sinneth from the beginning. For this purpose the Son of God was manifested, that he might destroy the works of the devil.
1Jn 3:9 Whosoever is born of God doth not commit sin; for his seed remaineth in him: and he cannot sin, because he is born of God.
I believe the scriptures are clear concerning sin, repentance, and forgiveness, as in the story above from Luke, which is the epitome of true biblical repentance.
The woman, who was a known sinner, came to Jesus broken and at the end of her rope! She boldly entered the building where Jesus was, didn't worry about what anyone thought of her, and had one thing on her mind. She was all business, and knew what she needed to do to receive the mercy of God, and be forgiven for her past sins against God, which were many.
She knew she couldn't be forgiven until she did one thing, and that was to repent, forsake her sins, and seek the mercy of God, she knew Jesus well, and that His only requirement to enter into eternal life was repentance and faith proven by deeds, Act 20:21 Testifying both to the Jews, and also to the Greeks, repentance toward God, and faith toward our Lord Jesus Christ.
This woman did something that astounded the Pharisees at the time, as she fell to her knees before Jesus, crying in great remorse and godly sorrow, having a crisis of conviction before her savior. She totally humbled herself by washing Jesus feet with her tears, and wiping them dry with her hair, then anointing them with precious oils and perfume.
This woman's faith was astonishing for all to see, as she obediently repented of all her sins, assuming nothing from Jesus, begging Him for mercy for her many sins of the flesh!
This woman in her great zeal, fear, and distress, stopped her sinning right there before Jesus granted her forgiveness and mercy, she stopper her sinning right then and there, which granted her favor and mercy from God. Jas 4:6 But He gives more grace. Therefore He says, God resists the proud, but He gives grace to the humble. This woman proved her repentance to Jesus, by her deeds! it wasn't a show, or a mere confession to hopefully stop the sin someday, and from the story I can gather, she knew in her heart, she has to put her great sins against God to death, once and for all, there at Jesus feet!
She then went on to be a strong disciple of Christ, following Him to the end, and not once do we read where she continued in unrepentant sin, as she was not saved IN her sins, but out of them, to become a light on a hill, shining brightly against the religious system, that were defiled in their hearts, but squeaky clean on the outside.
This woman came clean from the inside out, put her sins to death in repentance, before Christ would forgive her, and grant her mercy.
She did not save herself as many would accuse, she knew what she needed to do, through her free will and ability God gave her at birth, and exercised her choice to break up the fallow ground, forsake her sins, at the foot of Christ, clearing away her vile sins, that softened Jesus heart, and He forgave her of her sins, because He knew her repentance was real, and through, lacking nothing, as she came to her end, became savable and cleared of her wrong doings against God.
Now she didn't go on to sin less and less as many teach today, known as gradual sanctification, but went on to serve the living God in humility, with a pure and undefiled heart, made pure through her repentance and faith, proven by her deeds!
It’s the love, mercy, and longsuffering of God that should drive all men to their knees in humble repentance, just as the woman did, assuming nothing from God, and proving her repentance was real through her actions and great love for her master and king.
We all can learn a lot form this woman, especially about repentance and faith, and what God expects from each and every one of us, where the sin stops in repentance, or the heart hardens, it’s that simple, we have a free will choice as the woman did, and her love, devotion, zeal, and passion to get right with God, and receive forgiveness for her sins was simply amazing, and proof of when the sin must stop!
Remember God is longsuffering and wants no one to perish, but for all to come to repentance and a working, loving faith in Him and His son Jesus Christ, who died on the cross, as a sin offering, to set us free from the bondage's of sin and corruption coming from the world.
Heb 9:14 how much more shall the blood of Christ (who through the eternal Spirit offered Himself without spot to God) purge your conscience from dead works to serve the living God?
Tommy 3-8-12
PS. Remember that when a true conversion happens, it’s not about sinless perfection in any way. The truly repentant heart will still make mistakes, and still is without fault, but in no way do they continue in unrepentant sins that lead to death.
Instead of sinning less and less, you should be growing more in the light given to you, as well as in the knowledge and grace of God, keeping your heart pure, and sincere, working out your salvation each and every day with fear and trembling, standing fast, guarding your heart, enduring, abstaining from all forms of evil, coming out from the world and false teachings, keeping yourself unspotted from the world, keeping the word pure, hiding it in your heart and mind, forsaking the popular things of the world, keeping yourself pure, and un compromised with the world and its evil ways!

this is a very much alot great highly spiritually excellent message thanx 4 sharing.
bee blessed allways amen........

Tommy, thank you very much.

God is in control

maybe he is simply letting you depend on him step by step as you walk through this and he is teaching you something. When a test is being taken the teacher appears when you are done. Have faith and take heart that God is giving you the opportunity to simply trust him. His timing is not our own and his timing is always perfect. Ask him to increase your trust and your faith. Ask him to see this situation through his eyes. Don't lose hope. When things really really suck ask for humility and that he helps you to learn every bit of this lesson that he has for you and then thank him for it. He uses stuff like this in our lives to build character and to change us to become more like him. Love your Lord and Trust in Him, always, and he will NOT forsake you. ((((((((((hugs))))))))))

Thank you. God cant humble us, only we can humble ourselves. God can put me in a situation but it has to be my decision to be humbled from that. i am not proud and welcome humility.

God is in control

ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh my beautiful friend in our God & King....humility is what it is really all about