looking for answers

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juneiffer

Guest
#1
#1
I am a 19 year old girl with a lot of questions I can't seem to find the answer to. I think I have the answer but then question it because a lot of my reasoning doesn't make sence because I have a type of OCD where I basically tell myself I'm going to hell or my family will die unless I don't do the things I want. The type of things I feel guilty for are like playing video games or watching movies instead of applyig all my free time to the bible. Is this a reasonable and understandable feeling? Should I isolate myself from these things for god? Or does he want me to live life with these fun past times? I also have a troubled mind because I am not married but I have sexual intercourse with my boyfriend. I try to settle my concious by telling myself its ok because we love each other and want to get married once we are done with college. We have been together for over 2 years and I cannot imagine life without him and want to show and express my love through sex ,, is this a wrong way of thinking? Am I going to hell for this ? Will I be punished by god by him taking my family from me? I also cannot find a churh I feel happy and comfortable going to either. This also makes me feel worthy of eternal punishment. I try to live for god and always do what is right. I have been looking for answers and don't know.where to look anymore... So here I am asking the world in a chat room...
 
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ForeverHis42

Guest
#2
#2
Well, I don't think you need to avoid video games or other fun past times, because like you said, your opinions on them are affected by OCD. John 3:16 for God so loved the world that he gave his only begotten son that WHOEVER BELIEVES IN HIM WILL NOT PERISH BUT HAVE ETERNAL LIFE. You will NOT go to hell as long as you have been saved, so you don't need to worry. God loves you no matter what you do. You say that you are feeling guilty that you had sex, true, we should not have sex before marriage, but you said that you are probably going to get married, after college. Many things can happen to a relationship in that time frame, but I don't know. I know it isn't right to have sex before marriage, but I don't know..argh, can't figure out how to word the rest of this, but just ask God for forgiveness, you will feel much better. Once he forgives you, its as though you never made a mistake in the first place. I don't think its bad that you are not currently going to church, besides, if you were going to a church that doesn't fit you, it would probably destroy your faith rather than boost it. Find somewhere where the people are kind and helpful, where you make lots of friends, somewhere that fits your personality. Every church is a little bit different from the last, you will find one eventually. Until then, and even after, you should check out the bible study chat room and forum. People will gladly answer any questions. :D
 
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kenisyes

Guest
#3
#3
First, you don't follow your feelings, you follow the facts of God's word.

Second, if the Devil can get you thinking about how guilty you are, He'll keep you too busy to think about God.

Third, we are all worthy of eternal punishment. Isn't it great Jesus fixed it so we don't have to go there?

Specific answers: Pastimes are good; God would not have put Adam and Eve in a garden if He didn't want them praising Him for the world around them that they could enjoy. Not being married at 19 is also a good thing for most people today (there are exceptions); you need to know who you are in Christ, or you will not be able to love with His love. Sex outside of marriage is not good; it creates a bond that you are not ready for. You don't really need "church", you need fellowship with serious Christians (Heb. 10:25). Church is the main way to get that, but there are others. You just started one of the other ways with this post.

Spend some quality time with God every day, and try to seek His will for your life. He'll show you what you need to repent of, and what you need to pursue. You need to know more about marriage and God's plan for your life; you can ask more about that in another thread.
 
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Indubitably

Guest
#4
#4
Juneiffer, it looks like kenisyes, has given you some great advice in the preceeding thread. Just follow that advice and open up your heart and mind to Jesus. Get into the Word as much as possible.

 
J

juneiffer

Guest
#5
#5
It would just be such a hard thing to do to just tell my boyfriend that I don't want to have sex anymore because I feel like I'm sinning...
 
A

AgeofKnowledge

Guest
#6
#6
No, it is not a reasonable feeling. Yes, it is understandable given that you have OCD. It's OK to play an appropriate video game, watch an appropriate movie, and also read your Bible. It's not OK to fornicate with your boyfriend, however. This is obviously bringing you guilt and you are feeling convicted for doing it. Feeling convicted for doing things one shouldn't do is uncomfortable but not really a bad thing. It means God loves you and is working to bring about necessary changes in your life.

A healthy, moral, balanced life is God's design and best for you.

I've heard that some people who struggle with issues like OCD, anxiety, etc... find a measure of peace in working a healthy balanced program. So figure out what you like to do and what you need to do and balance that out into a weekly program and then work your program.

Join an OCD support group too. That would be beneficial.

Of course, these are suggestive. I don't tell people what to do. I just make suggestions.

juneiffer said:
I am a 19 year old girl with a lot of questions I can't seem to find the answer to. I think I have the answer but then question it because a lot of my reasoning doesn't make sence because I have a type of OCD where I basically tell myself I'm going to hell or my family will die unless I don't do the things I want. The type of things I feel guilty for are like playing video games or watching movies instead of applyig all my free time to the bible. Is this a reasonable and understandable feeling? Should I isolate myself from these things for god? Or does he want me to live life with these fun past times? I also have a troubled mind because I am not married but I have sexual intercourse with my boyfriend. I try to settle my concious by telling myself its ok because we love each other and want to get married once we are done with college. We have been together for over 2 years and I cannot imagine life without him and want to show and express my love through sex ,, is this a wrong way of thinking? Am I going to hell for this ? Will I be punished by god by him taking my family from me? I also cannot find a churh I feel happy and comfortable going to either. This also makes me feel worthy of eternal punishment. I try to live for god and always do what is right. I have been looking for answers and don't know.where to look anymore... So here I am asking the world in a chat room...
Click to expand...
 
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dmdave17

Guest
#7
#7
juneiffer said:
It would just be such a hard thing to do to just tell my boyfriend that I don't want to have sex anymore because I feel like I'm sinning...
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Dear friend,

It boils down to who you want to please more; God or your boyfriend. I'm not you, but I know who I would vote for.

God be with you in your quest.
 
L

libertygirl

Guest
#8
#8
Take your thoughts captive. God is bigger than your scrupulosity and all things related to OCD.

"I give them eternal life, and they shall never perish; no one can snatch them out of my hand." John 10:28
"The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy. I came that they may have life and have it abundantly." John 10:10
"And you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free." John 8:32

Forget your OCD, you can rest in God's sovereignty. Your negative thoughts do not have the power to cause harm to you or your family, because God is sovereign and all powerful over everything. Trust Him, He cares for you. God does not want you to live a life bounded by fear, but He wants you to experience His peace and love. And, you can stop having sex with your boyfriend. God will honor that, He will give you the strength to say no to premarital sex, and strength to live a life of purity. He has given you everything you need to walk away from all your sins. I will be praying. <3
 
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AAAPlus

AAAPlus

Senior Member
#9
Aug 2, 2011
601
10
18
#9
juneiffer said:
It would just be such a hard thing to do to just tell my boyfriend that I don't want to have sex anymore because I feel like I'm sinning...
Click to expand...
Tell him you want to stop having sex and one of three things will happen:

1.He'll pretend to be cool with it, but eventually convince you to start having sex with him again
2. He'll eventually break up with you, because he didn't love you for you, he loved you for the things you can do for him
3. He'll respect that, because he actually does love you and values you as a person

Now I won't say which of these are the most likely things to happen, but you've got to do something. Since the sex thing is the only thing you've posted a follow-up post on, I'm assuming that's the one you're most concerned about. You've got to do something, or it's going to keep eating you up inside. You can't live like that. If you love or even fear God, it will be very difficult for you emotionally to live contrary to His will for your life. Most importantly, constantly pray about it!
 
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kenisyes

Guest
#10
#10
juneiffer said:
It would just be such a hard thing to do to just tell my boyfriend that I don't want to have sex anymore because I feel like I'm sinning...
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There are way harder things husbands and wives have to tell each other during a marriage. It sounds like a good way to see what he will do.
 
BillyTheKid

BillyTheKid

Senior Member
#11
Feb 17, 2009
274
2
18
#11
juneiffer said:
It would just be such a hard thing to do to just tell my boyfriend that I don't want to have sex anymore because I feel like I'm sinning...
Click to expand...
If he cares about you enough to have sex with you, then he should care enough to respect your decision to not have sex. If he doesn't agree with your choice then leave. I know that sounds rude but you have to look at yourself and have some respect before you care about what he thinks. You are making a decision based on what is right. His opinion should not change yours.
 
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