L
Hi, I am hoping to find inspiration and strength to help me get through this difficult time in my life. I have been sufferring with mental illness for the last 3 years which really effected my marriage. My husband was always supportive and always tried to make me think posisive, but after years of me treating him with disrespect and always angry at him he has turned into an angry depressed man. He asked that we seperate so we both can work on ourselves and heal. He has never been an angry person and he has moved out saying he loves me and that he needs to find himself again, that he hates who he has become. The last few years, I have told him to just leave me and that he can do better with a normal woman. Now that he actually moved out, for the last 3 weeks, I have felt feelings of love and apprecaiate for him that I have ignored or lost in the last few years. These feeeling of love I have for him are so strong, and I am realizing now that he is gone, what kind of man I truely had and that I want him back in my life. He told me he doesn't want a divorce, but that we need to heal and he needs his space to forgive me. I have cried and cried to him telling him how sorry I am to have treated him so bad these last few years. He only gets upset to see me crying and getting emotional. He has been telling me this past year he was not happy with the way I treat him, and I never showed him that I care. He says now that he's out the door, my feelings that I am expressing only makes him mad, cuz he wished I had these feelings before. All he asks from me is to be strong and give him his space. He did say that we can text, but he asked that I do not call him unless its to say goodnight. He said every other week, he wants to spend time as a family. We have a blended family and we have our boys every other weekend. He said that is the time we will be together (as a family). I am trying to focus my strength that I can be a better person capable of showing love and to stop walking around being angry. I want to prove to myself, my husband, and my kids that I can change. I want my husband back pray that he can forgive me and he can find himself again. He tells me to take it day by day, but he literally bought storage to put his stuff in and he moved in with his mom. This tells me he has no plans of coming home anytime soon. Which makes me so sad... They do say that seperation works for people to make the relationship strong. This is what we both hope to get out of it. We want to heal ourselves and then work on our marriage. He tells me that its not about us anymore, its about him getting well and me getting well. For anyone that has gone through a sepeartion and it worked, can you please share your story. I am praying hard that we can get through this and that it will work out best for our family. For the first time in my life, I am trying not to let the negative thoughts cloud my thinking. I am thinking everyday to have the strength to fight for what I want, and that is to be happy and apprecaite the blessing that I have in my life.
