Since this morning I was feeling like crap, throat ache and feeling chilly and just not good in general. So I went in my room, as per protocol with my dad being in chemo, and have just sorta been watching TV and playing games. I slept for a while too.
Thing is though when I’m in here I don’t feel “rested.” I don’t feel like I’m having to do anything right but I can’t talk to anyone, I am in a cramped space, and I just....I only like it maybe 20 mins then I’m like ok when do I get outta here. And I’ve had infections and things and had to stay in here and I wonder, am I getting them because I’m cutting myself off from things that relax me or am I moping around? I did have to say bye to Blain this week and of course it made me sad but....
I mean it’s so weird what level am I trying to keep dad from getting sick and what level am I just wanting to sulk and do my own thing? It sucks.
Thing is though when I’m in here I don’t feel “rested.” I don’t feel like I’m having to do anything right but I can’t talk to anyone, I am in a cramped space, and I just....I only like it maybe 20 mins then I’m like ok when do I get outta here. And I’ve had infections and things and had to stay in here and I wonder, am I getting them because I’m cutting myself off from things that relax me or am I moping around? I did have to say bye to Blain this week and of course it made me sad but....
I mean it’s so weird what level am I trying to keep dad from getting sick and what level am I just wanting to sulk and do my own thing? It sucks.