You've been treated unkindly by someone and that has hurt you. I'm very sorry. The world is a rough place and without the Lord to buffer the pain, comfort and give us hope, the outlook is at best bleak.
Freewill is a double edged sword but God doesn't want robots so he gave us a mind to make choices,
Deuteronomy 30:19
I call heaven and earth to record this day against you, that I have set before you
life and death, blessing and cursing: therefore
choose life, that both thou and thy seed may live.
He lays out our choices
A: Life
B: Death
and He even tells us the correct answer Choose LIFE!!!
You are at an age when one a young man questions so I will pray God will give you wisdom and heal your pain in the name of Jesus, Amen.