In GREAT NEED OF ADVICE PLEASE

EMAIL ME ON HERE I HAVE A SERIOUS QUESTION PLAGUING MY MIND I AM IN DIRE NEED OF ADVICE ABOUT A SITUATION PLEASE CAN ANYONE HELP... I AM DESPERATE TO GET THIS ADVICE TO EASE MY SORROWS

HI

Maybe i can help you. What is it about ?

Yes, what's the subject at least?

( I copy pasted my response from an email to another member named Pickles, Please if you can help me this would ease my mind) Thank you and God Bless
Okay here goes.. Forgive me this isn't easy... I have been seeing this amazing woman now for 6 months and probably have been friends prior to dating for at least another 4 so we've known one another just about a year amazingly. I love her with all I am with all my heart and soul she's my world and I'd do anything to make her happy. She's 24 soon to be 25, I'm 23 soon to be 24, She's a Seven day Adventist and a good Christian she goes to church weekly sometimes twice if work permits it. I am not I was raised Catholic and I have lost my way and God, I struggle with trying to deal with it. Here's where it begins to become complicated, She's been Married to her Husband for 5 years she married young at 18 or so and she's been with me (I knew and I am sorry but I love her) He's moved out and forgives her due to the fact in the 6 months of me being around he became a Born again Christian and has made a 360 change in is life and is trying to save his marriage.
I again Love her she loves me, but she feels guilty and grieves for straying from the path of God and Forsaking her Marriage.. Her Conscience is plagued with what she should do, She feels for her soul and mind to be cleaned and okay again she should fix her marriage for God and for herself ( she say's its a choice she's made for her and her alone not anything with picking him over me) She say's that she can't divorce him due to it's a sin and against christian code of beliefs in the bible, there's only two reasons to divorce she says, that would be seen as allowed 1. Negligence or Abusiveness, and Infidelity, But even then she says God would rather see you try to work it out and fix the marriage.. I can't stand this I love her and I am seriously praying and grieving day and night my personal life has taken a toll due to it, she doesn't want to hurt me she says this and wishes there was some other way to due this and stay she doesn't want to cause me pain or sorrow she just can't see any other way due to her beliefs.. this woman wanted a family with me she never wanted this with him, she swears she's never felt the way she has for another man till she's met me, not even him. I am so burdened with bitterness towards this because I feel weak and helpless in this situation. Is there anyway she can be with me anyway that her and I can stay together and not go against God, Wouldn't he want her and I to be happy I mean loves at stake here, doesn't he want us to be happy if it's real, shouldn't she be fine if she has forgiveness in her heart and asks for his mercy and things will be okay... I know cheating was wrong in the first place but it was in the end for the greater good if he put her in my life and we fell madly in love.. I want to marry her and have a family, My family accepts her and I don't know what to do I'm so scared I am certain I will lose her soon and I can't take it I seriously feel my heart racing because I'm a hopeless Romantic and firm believer that love is stronger than Fate and love conquers all, I want God's Guidance and for him to accept me again I know i've strayed and sinned allot and I want to be Reborn again and accept him I want to bask in his glow of the love he has I want this for me and for her to see that I am willing to do this.. I don't know what to do is there anyway her and I can still Yet be I'm freaking out , I am crying even now I have a bible beside me the wooden cross in front of me and christian rock music on I'm doing whatever possible I can she asked and told me to pray to help me through this but so far it still feels like she's leaning towards the marriage because she's afraid to Divorce and face scrutiny from her family and peers perhaps... I love her I am loyal to her and no other I wouldn't ever wrong her and I only want to hold her in my arms at night and kiss her goodnight, intimacy has ended in the last 3 weeks in her search for what's right she's trying to figure things out, she said she should be celibate till she figures this out... I love and accept and understand that She's perfect to me for all her imperfections she's beautiful and wonderful to me in so many way's I'm proud of her I talk about her all the time to my Friends and Family and brag she's Bold independent and so smart and I am honored she has been with me this long and I never ever ever would take her for granted I fight so hard to keep this afloat, her husband neglected and took her for granted while married for 5 years leaving her alone going out with friends when she would ask him to stay in that night and then show up at like 3 or 4 in the morning he often made her cry these are things she's told me and I vowed that isn't me I would walk through fire for this woman she knows this she see's how I feel for her I cry often when she talks of leaving she say's she's never met such an emotional guy, I am sappy and romantic I adore her and cherish her and all that she is I accept her for her and wont ever ask her to change, I really need help isn't there anything we can do I can do she can do? She told me to look for advice, she's searching bible texts and doing studying on this and I don't think she should go back and try to fix the marriage and it be all for the sake of God and yet she's miserable and unhappy and they're just going through the motions for I am sure God wouldn't be pleased by this act. Please give all your thoughts and Advice and ask anyone pastors and friends for them to answer this email to.. please I need help I pray to god there can be a MIRACLE that we can remain together I'll cherish her till the day I die, Print this to if need be please and I know I was wrong for all of this we both are and we understand and accept it please though try to help us out. I would do anything to appease God and fix this and make this right again. Sincerely Christopher.

I'm sorry you're in so much pain. I hate to tell you this but for the time being I would step aside and let her work on her
marriage. You're so young, do the things you need to do to for your life. Time will tell what will happen. God bless.

Thank you, God Bless..

There is no miracle, there's only the truth and you already know what that is. Don't look for others to verify a false hope. It would be false verification and I don't think you'll find much of that here. The regular population here is pretty genuine, which is what you need to be.

And don't confuse passion with love. Your letter screams passion and that always wanes. Desperation too. Of all the things Paul said love is, I don't think desperate was on the list.

I knew my wife 12 years before we got married. I knew she was the love of my life when I saw that even through the passion and desperation of other relationships, she was always there as a best friend. It never was a sweep you off your feet kind of thing, but we're swept now.

Be this woman's FRIEND (and that means her husband's too) and you may be with her long term. Be this woman's suitor and you're never going to see her again. Which one says love more?

Being raised Catholic (as I was), I can certainly see why you got confused and have trouble finding God. I suggest the reason you fell in love with her is that you missed God's love. She needs to go back to her husband, and you need to pray for God to give you His love, and show Himself to you as He really is. Then you will have His love in your heart, and will have something to reach out with to the woman God has for you.

it's not just passion I swear it is so much more it's holding her, watching her sleep, hearing her breathing beside me it gives me peace, I can see us with children, I love her she's done so much to keep me safe from homelessness again and starvation when I lost my job, she's been there and I've been there for her with whatever I can offer in return I also always pay her back when I can for all she does, I'm grateful and happy to know her she's not just a fling I've confessed and confided in her things I normally wouldn't she gives me strength and pride to venture into many things I never done like an online business she makes me feel amazing and confident again my family even agrees she's good for me she balances me for all I am not she is she's the light to my darkness I know that seemed like desperation and in many ways it is but for reasons of I am terribly emotional right now I love her and I can't stand to see her walk away I know love prevails I know I've seen it before I was a Cast Member for Disney I was Aladdin I've seen so many fairytales prevail and conquer all things, I love her wouldn't God understand this she's confided in me things she didn't with Her Husband she even said she want's a family with me she in the 5 years of marriage denied him that because of how he was and who he was she didn't see a father figure in him she didn't want that with him, I think she feels trapped with this marriage due to it happened while young and naive and on a whim since he told her at a young age while dating she had two choices Marry me or go our separate ways she chose marriage because she loved him then at 18, it's not worth fighting or denying that there's allot wrong here so why can't we be happy isn't there anything she can do about this, she just fears Gods views on Divorce but why go back in if it's not going to be real if it's going to be half hearted and Miserable please isn't there anything she can do... technically they've failed one another and put one another through emotional and physical anguish and that in a sense is abusive and grounds to leave a marriage they were both neglectful and straying from one another throughout the marriage so why stay it's not her first time she's betrayed the marriage but this is the first time since marriage she's felt happy in awhile and felt loved and nurtured//// I cherish her I repeat I don't have lust and or a passion trip here I am a very mature and old soul type person I know feelings and psychology more than most my age I've proven this time and time again but I do need many opinions in this case for her comfort and for me to aid her and me into what's the right path.. I only wish to make her happy and end suffering for us both.. a noble and righteous thought.. I want a blessed family and life with her, I've buried one son years ago I don't want to lose someone else I love so soon please isn't there a way

thank you Kenisyes

Wooaw I really feel your pain !!! but the truth is most peoples tries to find comfort in men instead of looking at God.

She married young with a non-believer what certainly made her face a lot of pain and struggle but she would have never start this affair with you.
As you two already know there are only two reasons for divorsing which are abusiveness and infidelity. Her husband has forgive her, he is born again and try to have a better behaviour so she really need to ask GOD for repentance, tries to make it work, help him in his new life making god the center of their marriage and as he forgive her she also need to forgive him for all the negligence he had toward her all these years.
I know that let you alone but if you really love her you should want what best for her and her familly. You cannot build your family on the ruins of one others or sins because it would never end good and love is a tiny part in marriage. Marriage is before all wanted to make it work, wanted to love your wife/ husband, it's think of your partner need before thinking of yours,experiment with patience and so much more and even with all those thinks we most need God grace.
I don't say it would be easy for both of you but you have to make it for a good future in god hand.
This experience should also be for you a way to reconnect with GOD, let him comfort you, handle your path and your will know what is this peace and this joy the bible talks about. For god know everything, he will lead you to THE WOMAN that will perfecly match with you and make you feel like you living in a dream.
Put your future in God hands.

Bless

Thank you.. everyone is saying similar things,,, my heart's aching at the thought of having to do the whole 'if you love them let them go scenario' and perhaps she will come back but at this point once I set her free (she said she still wants to be my friend if it does end) I doubt she'll come back for all I've asked of her and fought the whole religion and divorce aspect and she's pretty upset for pitting her against a battle with her faith and many things she's tired due to not wanting to see me crippled as I am by grief for knowing it's the inevitable death blow coming soon to the relationship.. for it to be gone makes me mourn and I feel nothing but emptiness inside, I am afraid to say goodbye to our love.. it's what your all asking of me to do, to look in the mirror and I know it's wrong and I don't want to but for and the love I have for her I just might have to.. Please everyone keep the advice coming.

Christopher, if this is true, then thank Jesus for dying for your sins on the cross, and ask him to be your Savior and forgive you. He adored you so much that He took your punishment (and mine, and everyone's) on Himself! Confess your sins to Jesus, and ask Him to help you leave the situation up to Him; He's in control and He knows what's best. Ask Him to help you follow Him as closely as possible and to give you the power of the Holy Spirit. Then keep praying that His will shall be accomplished. I hope all goes well, my brother!

Thank you most sincerely Jilly81 God Bless and again thank you

You're welcome, Christopher . Following Jesus isn't always easy, but He's SO worth it, and He makes the tough times SO much easier to bear. I know this first hand .

I'm so reluctant to let her go,,,,, I feel my heart racing at the thought of her not saying goodnight to me anymore.... *sobbing* I'm such a wreck this isn't fair,, but it's the right thing to do,, I love her and she knows that but I have to let go.. I'm dying inside at this battle I'm fighting I can't do this much longer or else I may not let it happen. sigh,,,,,,

you said in your first post that you knew her for 4 months, and since have been a 6 month relationship. This really is not knowing someone. Its hard when these strong desires are confused as love.
I actually read your post -- word for word. You wrote that you believe God brought her into your life; this cannot be true and I know that hurts. She is a married woman, it would not be in Gods character to bring you in to make a unstable situation worse.
Marriage IS a covenant relationship with God - he would not bring you into it.

She needs so much healing -- she is in so much turmoil, only God can work that out in her. Not you.

I hope you can find your own healing with God as well.
You will, if you continue to let him take this pain and reveal more of His truth to you.
Blessings.

I will pray 4 u ok, God knows everything.But if u can share,people can prayerfully council u. Pastor John

I am so sorry to hear what you are going through, and you will probably hate me for what i am about to say, but this is for the best (and yes for both of you).. i hope you do not take this personal...

If you love the girl and respect her, you will encourage her to fix her marriage, a good friend always thinks about what is best for others before thinking about himself/herself. We should never put our feelings on what does not belong to us as some one will suffer pain sooner or later...follow God and out of love for him, respect the married woman & husband, and keep encouraging her for making the right choice to fix her marriage and her path with God.

If you cannot let go, then you need to stop being in touch with this person to avoid causing more damage that can cause her to slip again... while she should be making this choice by her self, if she can't.. then you should.

Seek God good friend, ask him for guidance and for forgiveness for the damaged caused to what he considers holy; as much as you love her and i can understand that part, believe me when i tell you that when you wake up spiritually, that will hurt way more than losing her... you have no idea how much the spiritual damage can be to us.
Say if you both were to be together and wake up spiritually to God, all that was good will be seen in a much different perspective by both of you and soon it would fall apart out of pain and regret. Right now the opportunity of fixing things and making it all better is there.. take it, and trust me God does make all things better when you seek for it... have faith in him

If it hurts, take the pain for now and use your strength to support her! And congratulations for reaching out, its a Huge step friend, not an easy one, but look for what is right, not for what you heart desires... for that will lead down to a painful path...God can replace that love with something greater and someone that will be compatible with you, but follow him and remember he makes all things new ^_^!!!

God Bless and i'll be praying for you both !!

Nearly a year of spending almost every day with someone is plenty of time to get to know someone and know they're feelings thoughts dreams goals aspirations and so much more people evolve and they're constantly going to surprise you because your growing together doesn't mean I Don't know her or love her because what I feel is genuine. I've had many relationships and only loved 3 since I was much much younger, many people have been in love at young ages and fell in love or experienced love at first site with her it was nearly all of that we shared interests and bonded and had so much in common and if it wasn't for the fact she is a married woman who knows how much more meaningful this could have become, but I am not remorseful I am happy I shared my time with this special and amazing woman whom made me feel whole and gave me such an opportunity to fix my life and keep me from becoming homeless and down and out, her love and compassion and all that she is makes her a wonder and I truly don't care if anyone say's God didn't put her in my life because I feel otherwise, because she was God sent she's been my angel for so much and helped me with so much I am and forever grateful and happy for that He may have simply put her here for a test and to help me while I was down and out and something more Blossomed there and I don't regret it at all sorry if this upsets anyone but it's true I am a Romantic and I fight for my love and defend people I love entirely whether they are to blame or not, she's perfect in my eyes due to her mistakes and trials and tribulations and she is someone I will love and forever hold a place in my heart. God bless her for all she's going through and all she's done but I will make it right and soon. It won't be easy but I shall do it because of my deep love that I feel for her and the admiration of her strength.