( I copy pasted my response from an email to another member named Pickles, Please if you can help me this would ease my mind) Thank you and God Bless
Okay here goes.. Forgive me this isn't easy... I have been seeing this amazing woman now for 6 months and probably have been friends prior to dating for at least another 4 so we've known one another just about a year amazingly. I love her with all I am with all my heart and soul she's my world and I'd do anything to make her happy. She's 24 soon to be 25, I'm 23 soon to be 24, She's a Seven day Adventist and a good Christian she goes to church weekly sometimes twice if work permits it. I am not I was raised Catholic and I have lost my way and God, I struggle with trying to deal with it. Here's where it begins to become complicated, She's been Married to her Husband for 5 years she married young at 18 or so and she's been with me (I knew and I am sorry but I love her) He's moved out and forgives her due to the fact in the 6 months of me being around he became a Born again Christian and has made a 360 change in is life and is trying to save his marriage.
I again Love her she loves me, but she feels guilty and grieves for straying from the path of God and Forsaking her Marriage.. Her Conscience is plagued with what she should do, She feels for her soul and mind to be cleaned and okay again she should fix her marriage for God and for herself ( she say's its a choice she's made for her and her alone not anything with picking him over me) She say's that she can't divorce him due to it's a sin and against christian code of beliefs in the bible, there's only two reasons to divorce she says, that would be seen as allowed 1. Negligence or Abusiveness, and Infidelity, But even then she says God would rather see you try to work it out and fix the marriage.. I can't stand this I love her and I am seriously praying and grieving day and night my personal life has taken a toll due to it, she doesn't want to hurt me she says this and wishes there was some other way to due this and stay she doesn't want to cause me pain or sorrow she just can't see any other way due to her beliefs.. this woman wanted a family with me she never wanted this with him, she swears she's never felt the way she has for another man till she's met me, not even him. I am so burdened with bitterness towards this because I feel weak and helpless in this situation. Is there anyway she can be with me anyway that her and I can stay together and not go against God, Wouldn't he want her and I to be happy I mean loves at stake here, doesn't he want us to be happy if it's real, shouldn't she be fine if she has forgiveness in her heart and asks for his mercy and things will be okay... I know cheating was wrong in the first place but it was in the end for the greater good if he put her in my life and we fell madly in love.. I want to marry her and have a family, My family accepts her and I don't know what to do I'm so scared I am certain I will lose her soon and I can't take it I seriously feel my heart racing because I'm a hopeless Romantic and firm believer that love is stronger than Fate and love conquers all, I want God's Guidance and for him to accept me again I know i've strayed and sinned allot and I want to be Reborn again and accept him I want to bask in his glow of the love he has I want this for me and for her to see that I am willing to do this.. I don't know what to do is there anyway her and I can still Yet be I'm freaking out , I am crying even now I have a bible beside me the wooden cross in front of me and christian rock music on I'm doing whatever possible I can she asked and told me to pray to help me through this but so far it still feels like she's leaning towards the marriage because she's afraid to Divorce and face scrutiny from her family and peers perhaps... I love her I am loyal to her and no other I wouldn't ever wrong her and I only want to hold her in my arms at night and kiss her goodnight, intimacy has ended in the last 3 weeks in her search for what's right she's trying to figure things out, she said she should be celibate till she figures this out... I love and accept and understand that She's perfect to me for all her imperfections she's beautiful and wonderful to me in so many way's I'm proud of her I talk about her all the time to my Friends and Family and brag she's Bold independent and so smart and I am honored she has been with me this long and I never ever ever would take her for granted I fight so hard to keep this afloat, her husband neglected and took her for granted while married for 5 years leaving her alone going out with friends when she would ask him to stay in that night and then show up at like 3 or 4 in the morning he often made her cry these are things she's told me and I vowed that isn't me I would walk through fire for this woman she knows this she see's how I feel for her I cry often when she talks of leaving she say's she's never met such an emotional guy, I am sappy and romantic I adore her and cherish her and all that she is I accept her for her and wont ever ask her to change, I really need help isn't there anything we can do I can do she can do? She told me to look for advice, she's searching bible texts and doing studying on this and I don't think she should go back and try to fix the marriage and it be all for the sake of God and yet she's miserable and unhappy and they're just going through the motions for I am sure God wouldn't be pleased by this act. Please give all your thoughts and Advice and ask anyone pastors and friends for them to answer this email to.. please I need help I pray to god there can be a MIRACLE that we can remain together I'll cherish her till the day I die, Print this to if need be please and I know I was wrong for all of this we both are and we understand and accept it please though try to help us out. I would do anything to appease God and fix this and make this right again. Sincerely Christopher.