R
Hello to everyone I hope you are all well. I am new here and to be honest I'm feeling confused. I have struggled my whole life to find meaning and real love amongst people. But have all too often only found loneliness and isolation. My childhood was one of cruelty and hypocrisy combined. And as a result trust is a big issue for me. I have tried genuinely to maintain my own reverence for my own sensitivity and that in others. This feels like god’s love to me. To know in my heart the genuine contact with myself and with others is a rare and precious thing to me. My own feeling is that god has been reaching out to me, and I have sought him without naming him. Instead being led by an intrinsic sense of authenticity which accompanies his presence in me. He asks me to "be" to surrender, but not to "give up" to know his presence as a good Father. I am very trepidations and scared. I love the sense I have of this spirit within. But I am a little deflected by the fear that some will try and insist that my own sense of god is in some way not legitimate? As though my own contact with the divine presence is incomplete or not good enough because it isn't "sanctified" in some way? Does that make sense?
It is the reason why at age forty three I have trod my own path and sought out my own inner congruence. Inch by inch seeking to validate the love which values life and the nurturing simple kindness I so long to find. I feel god is found in love and in gentle truth. I am not impressed by any claims that he be to be a punisher or a dictator. I only know a god whose spirit yearns to show love and in that all the respect and valuing of my brothers and sisters that are the fruit of this love.
Please be patient with me, and if I offend I am sorry. But my heart is true (bruised and bloody) but my aim is alos true. I desire contact with those who know in their spirit the truth of love and the enabling of the divine. I don’t know much of scripture as yet, but my life has thought me that to seek in pain is to find rest and renovation of the soul. I cannot believe a vengeful god would protect me in my frailty or ease my burden when I am most vulnerable. Those who injure and exploit are lost and too afraid to feel their pain to help. But his spirit seems only to seek my soul’s reception and trust in his grace.
“God is Love”.
Thank you for taking the time to read my words.
It is the reason why at age forty three I have trod my own path and sought out my own inner congruence. Inch by inch seeking to validate the love which values life and the nurturing simple kindness I so long to find. I feel god is found in love and in gentle truth. I am not impressed by any claims that he be to be a punisher or a dictator. I only know a god whose spirit yearns to show love and in that all the respect and valuing of my brothers and sisters that are the fruit of this love.
Please be patient with me, and if I offend I am sorry. But my heart is true (bruised and bloody) but my aim is alos true. I desire contact with those who know in their spirit the truth of love and the enabling of the divine. I don’t know much of scripture as yet, but my life has thought me that to seek in pain is to find rest and renovation of the soul. I cannot believe a vengeful god would protect me in my frailty or ease my burden when I am most vulnerable. Those who injure and exploit are lost and too afraid to feel their pain to help. But his spirit seems only to seek my soul’s reception and trust in his grace.
“God is Love”.
Thank you for taking the time to read my words.
