can't sleep, past is creeping in my thoughts.

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K

katers

Guest
#1
#1
I AM NOT PROUD... 13 years ago I had an affair with a married man. I was 22 and he was 50. I was actually the nanny for their youngest son for 2 years. The affair didn't happen until I moved out and accross the country. The father came to visit his second home where I lived and brought me out for dinner, then the affair began. It was strictly sexual. I was also good friends with his wife. Not only that, I was dating their 24 year old son at the time that still lived in another state. 3 months later, I met my husband, fell in love instantly and ended both the other relationships. I have never cheated again and have suffered through guilt immediately after affair ended. I finally forgave myself and started to rejuvenate my relationship with Christ. I have very little contact with that family, just Christmas cards. I haven't seen them since our wedding reception 10 years ago. They are now in their 60s and I assume their marraige is doing fine.
All of a sudden I feel extreme guilt again. I repented but don't know if I am totally forgiven. Do I need to confess to the wife what happened?
 
damombomb

damombomb

Senior Member
#2
Feb 27, 2011
3,801
68
48
#2
Welcome to cc, the Father should have been more of a man than that, a role model, that is all past, all things become new in him, the word says if we confess our faults one to another he is faithful to forgive us,
be blessed
 
L

Loveme

Guest
#3
#3
In what ever you chose to do may the lord be with you always
 
K

katers

Guest
#4
#4
Thank you for the response. When you say... "the word says if we confess our faults one to another he is faithful to forgive us". Do you mean that I should confess my faults to his wife?

Thank you
 
DuchessAimee

DuchessAimee

Senior Member
#5
Apr 27, 2011
3,922
129
63
#5
Katers,

Guilt is from the Enemy. The Bible says that there is NO condemnation in Jesus; therefore, the Holy Spirit is NOT the one trying to guilt you into telling. Personally, I would pray about it and truly evaluate what the good would be in telling his wife what happened. I'm willing to bet that you weren't his first or last affair. For all you know, she already knows what happened. I would let sleeping dogs lie.
 
G

greatblue

Guest
#6
#6
katers said:
Do I need to confess to the wife what happened?
Click to expand...
That would be an uncontainable bomb, so I will say no. Ask God for guidance and do not cease until you have a clear path.

We have to assume that God programmed guilt to act in a corrective way drawing us back to Him. Going back to Eden after Adam disobeyed and hid, he was experiencing guilt for the first time. But it was God who sought out Adam, not vice versa. The devil uses guilt to make us hide, run from God.

Jesus died on the cross so that your mistakes, big or small, are not allowed to speak over you. There is a devil who would like all of us to think otherwise and we have to imagine that he delights whenever we allow our mistakes to haunt us. See, his mistake has spoken over him since the beginning, and on into eternity.

I'm saying a prayer for you and asking God to help you throw yourself at His feet. There is healing there.
 
L

lovejesus4ever

Banned
#7
Jul 18, 2012
5
0
0
#7
Its ok,turn to god and he will guide you!
 
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U

Ugly

Guest
#8
#8
Nothing good will come out of you confessing to the wife. And after all these years, who knows, they may be divorced already. Or on the verge. You don't want to put yourself in the middle of a volatile situation like domestic disputes. Bringing up the past like that puts you, and all involved at risk.
The past is the past. God has made you a new creation, with a new life, don't dwell on the old life or the old you. Chances are if its bothering you its because you're allowing yourself to dwell on it. Stop dwelling on what you did, and start being thankful for what you have. God gave you a new life, don't waste it obsessing over the things He erased from your past.
 
L

Lindsay

Banned
#9
May 28, 2012
270
0
0
#9
Dont lay your burden on the wife. Carry it.
 
B

beloved3

Guest
#10
#10
All of us are guilty of sin. One sin does not weigh more than the other in the eyes of our Holy God..but us people..we tend to give greater weight to sins like adultery for one...I am NOT saying that you should not feel bad about it since it's all the same in God's eyes. What I am trying to share with u is that i think you already FELT bad about it (many times over) so stop there. You do NOT HAVE to keep feeling bad every time the enemy reminds you of your sin. He is the accuser and so its natural for him to do that but YOU HAVE A CHOICE. After you have repented of your sin and brought it before the Lord who is mighty to save, who is your Redeemer, who bought you freedom - YOU ARE FREE. The nest time the Enemy accuses you, consider it a reminder to THANK GOD instead for HIS forgiveness! There is no condemnation for those who are in Christ. You are new!! Not just restored but made new! :)
 
B

beloved3

Guest
#11
#11
katers said:
I AM NOT PROUD... 13 years ago I had an affair with a married man. I was 22 and he was 50. I was actually the nanny for their youngest son for 2 years. The affair didn't happen until I moved out and accross the country. The father came to visit his second home where I lived and brought me out for dinner, then the affair began. It was strictly sexual. I was also good friends with his wife. Not only that, I was dating their 24 year old son at the time that still lived in another state. 3 months later, I met my husband, fell in love instantly and ended both the other relationships. I have never cheated again and have suffered through guilt immediately after affair ended. I finally forgave myself and started to rejuvenate my relationship with Christ. I have very little contact with that family, just Christmas cards. I haven't seen them since our wedding reception 10 years ago. They are now in their 60s and I assume their marraige is doing fine.
All of a sudden I feel extreme guilt again. I repented but don't know if I am totally forgiven. Do I need to confess to the wife what happened?
Click to expand...
I posted most of my thoughts in a previous response but let me add just one more. Confessing to the wife may not be a great idea..that is just my opinion. But do pray about it. ask for CLEAR directions. sometimes God wants us to do something about our sin.. to ask for apology and the like BUT all the time He wants to know that you are truly sorry TO HIM because it's to Him first you have sinned. I pray you get the answer you are looking for from God.
 
N

NinJaGGS

Guest
#12
#12
I wish you the best in this. I also suffer from thoughts interfering with my sleep. It sucks because Satan never sleeps. I don't think making decisions based on feeling guilty is any good, guilt usually makes me commit more sins than if I had just left it alone.
Can't change the past, but you certainly can try to not let it affect you.
I don't think repentance is something that happens once and for all, because unlike God, people are always changing. Repentance is a lifelong endeavor. You have this garden.. this garden is beautiful! but you can't help that weeds grow in it...just need to pull out the weeds as they come up...
Satan is an evil jerk who uses anything he can to bully us into reacting and messing up our relationship with God. He'll spit in your face, mock you, tell you how good you are, tell you God hasn't forgiven you, but fortunately he's lying, always.
 
D

destiny

Guest
#13
#13
u a welc. In my own opinion i think u should go and confess to his wife wit prayers for God's guidance. He lead u.
 
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