Found My Rock Bottom

First of all, my name is Jason. I was saved July 15th, 1999 in Pensacola, Florida at the Brownsville revival. I served God for awhile and then fell away in 2007. I pretty much became agnostic and had more questions than answers regarding God. I lived in this state of mind since then.

Feb. 11th 2011 my wife of only 6 months decided she wasn't happy and left me promptly. I was deeply insecure after several failed relationships. One of which resulted in my near successful suicide. I met my wife in 2009 and we began dating after 2 months of talking. We were married Aug 20th 2010. She was aware of my past hurts and would often reassure me that she would never leave me. She gave me access to her social sites, email and cell phone. It soon became habitual to check these often despite never finding anything to prove her unfaithful.

She was pregnant when we got together but the father, (so she thought) didn't want to be involved. I was eager to be with her, but afraid to be close to her baby as I have had my heart broken by my previous wife who left with our two children. My wife assured me she would never do that to me. I became SUPER close to her daughter. I think of her as my own. I've been a part of her life since before her birth.

Anyway, my thoughts are jumbled and I pray you forgive my lack of focus. I'm in pain emotionally.

I asked her if I could adopt our daughter and she said no. I asked her if she saw us being together for a long time and she said no. Then she informed me of her decision to leave, stating she was unhappy. She moved out the next morning and has since been VERY cold and harsh towards me.

Three days later, I had not slept at all. I was on my way home from work and fell asleep. I hit a center median at 70mph. The next morning, my boss called and fired me for not coming to work. I have not seen my daughter since the day he left.

I believe it is God's will to restore marriage.

I have felt God tugging on my heart for awhile. I finally gave in on Feb. 23rd 2011. Now that my heart is back with Him, I am even more determined to stand for my marriage. My wife is not a believer and has never known God.

This is why I am here. To fellowship with other believers and to have my family stand in agreement with me that God will bring my wife and child back home.

*also, I really am not so off focus and I do hope you'll forgive me*

lol I need sleep. After reading my post, it's very clear. Sorry. Hope you all can decipher my mess of thoughts. :-/

Brother may the Most powerful force of the universe be your breath and your desire and your hope, for from Him come all blessings and thanks to Him we are saved. We must put Him who snatched us away from death and resurrected us with Christ as first in our lives, since our destiny is to be with Him forever and ever.

Brother you can find support from Us, your brothers and sisters in Christ, you are not in this race alone.
God Bless you, remain in prayer always and Don't forget your first love!

Jason082010, Hello welcome to christian chat.

Welcome to CC Jason! I'm from Pensacola, Fl too and just moved from there to Gainesville. I'm here for you to talk whenever you need, I believe in the power of prayer and through prayer and God you can get through this. I feel that it is very important that you try your best to get your wife to believe and give her life to God so that you both can work together and get your marriage back on track but you need God in this for success. God bless you and I wish you the best. Stay strong, you can do this. and again, I'll be here very frequently so i'm here for you.

Savedcass

There is a whole lot of pain here. Know that the Lord must have something amazing for your life if Satan is trying so hard to hurt you.

Thank you very much. Today I am facing a very big battle. I have made the decision to give my wife divorce papers. Not because I want to give up, which I won't. Not because I don't love her; I'm still deeply in love with her. Rather, I feel I am offering her completely to Him. I am giving Him complete control of both our lives. My friend told me I am like Christ in the Garden, "Father not my will, but Yours be done".

Today when I hand her these papers, I am not certain what she will say or do. Perhaps she will do nothing and say thank you. I am not certain. I am asking God to speak through me. If I don't have complete faith to say the right words, I will only tell her I love her and walk away. So I ask that you all join me in prayer. I know God has a plan for her and for myself.

Thank you guys! (the hardest part of this is saying good bye to a child... so pray God will give me His strength and peace)

dont worry god has plans for you even if you get your wife back or not just remember to always love god and never give up and always remeber god has plans for you even if its not with your wife and always love that child never give up on trying to see her love another christian

In the last week, my wife has asked if we can remain friends. Then we flirted for awhile and had a great day (via texting) Then we have fought and I said some harsh things, however true. I finally poured out my everything to her as she was clearly upset. She told me my words have a profound effect on her and she isn't worth the pain I'm facing. I assured her she most definitely is. She then called herself an idiot and said she often makes the wrong choices. I told her she isn't an idiot and that if she is admitting that to herself, the only thing blocking her is herself.

I'm praying God will continue to work in her life. She told me she has never known Jesus, so I see this as a HUGE door for God to move in her life. I appreciate everyones' thought and hope you'll continue to lift us up in prayer. God has a plan.

Since you are recently coming back to God's ways, perhaps tell her the things you have done wrong to her and the ways you want to change them. Ask her for forgiveness honestly and tell her the things you forgive her for.

Be totally honest with her. Hopefully she will be with you too.

God will work whatever miracle is required if it is in His will to do so.

Son of Adam,

Your advice is good. I actually have done so many times since her departure. She remains steadfast in her choice still. But I feel God's plan will come to pass soon. She asks me random questions and then upon receiving my answer, begins to back away from her question. Today she asked why she is so special? Why am I willing to go through so much pain for her. So I gave her several lengthy replies why she is special. And told her I gave her my vow for life and I will endure the pain for life. That she is worth it.

She appears unmoved by my words. Perhaps she is. I know it will not be me who brings her home regardless but God. So unfortunately, I may have yet further to go. And a more painful road yet ahead of me. God deserves the glory, and with my efforts in the way, I fear I will be removed. I pray not. But I am patient and love her unconditionally.

I have to appear unmoved by her words as well. She made me smile several times today, but once she said, "Jason, I can't figure you out. I can say the meanest stuff to you, and it encourages you!" I found that amusing for sure.

God has a plan. Please continue to pray for her salvation and the restoration of our family. Thanks and God Bless you all!

Welcome Jason,
I'm an old grandparent and always ready to lend a listening ear.