Hello

Hi, and thank you for reading my post. I've been calling myself a Christian since I was 16, I'm now 36. Even though I listen to Christian radio, music and talk radio, signed up on numerous Christian websites to receive Christian emails, I don't really feel like a Christian. I don't feel close to Jesus at all. I suppose that could be because I have a lot of sin in my life.

I want to "feel" Jesus's presence. I'm so broken. I listen to my Christian talk radio every day and they talk about all the things I want in my life, all the ways I want to live my life, but it doesn't seem possible or even real at times. I don't have very many, if any, strong Christian people in my life. My ex-boyfriend of 5 years didn't even believe in God. I feel like I failed him because even though I called myself a "Christian", I sure did not live or behave like one.

I'm looking for new people, friends, who are strong in their faith, to come into my life. I need wisdom. I want to walk the Christian life, but in this broken world, it almost seems impossible, it almost seems like I would be walking alone. I know we all are sinners. But I so desperately want to be less of a sinner than I currently am and feel that unconditional love that Jesus so promises.

CJ

How did she know I read her post?

That is so spooky.

Gosh, what a nice reply! Thanks.

I went a bit sad when I read you are broken... If you have read the Bible, I´d like to ask you to read those words Jesus said at The Garden and those final words He said, in the cross. Can you also see He longed to feel GOD (particularly when quoting Salm 22)?

Meanwhile you know how to sort this, many members in CC will offer you real fellowship and, perhaps tose who live close to you (same state) will add more than you thought you could find since, the web, it´s only a mean to approach and, by the sound we make, you´d know if we are sad, if we play guitar or the flute.

Enjoy CC!

hi hope, welcome to CC.
Just keep in mind our walks are not about feelings but about faith. And what is faith? According to Hebrews 11 it's "Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen." Meaning, our hope is not in what we feel or see but what we know and believe. Many Christians, especially ones with a more charismatic leaning, put emphasis on feeling as evidence of how far or close we are from God. But really this has nothing to do with it. Maintaining a right living, out of a desire to follow and please God, maintaining a healthy prayer life and bible reading time, these are the keys to our faith. Not how we feel. God operates outside our feelings, and sometimes His methods may affect or tweak our feelings, but not always.
So perhaps what you need isn't to 'feel' closer to God, but to acknowledge the closeness that already exists, by faith.

Welcome to the site. I think you just took step number one right now. God knows our hearts so when we express to him that we long for him he knows. I'll say this much, when it comes to wanting to turn from sins plugging into him is the only way to do it and he's more than willing to have us draw near to him. Like Ugly said, prayer and bible. Keeping his words in mind and letting his spirit transform you. I know he's going to help you I just know it. I hope we can be of help too.

Hi and be very welcome to CC.
As someone already said: the first step was just taken, by recognising you need Him and by wanting Him. Don't be disapointed with yourself and Just remember that He cares about you and this "first step" nothing more is than Him attracting you with His grace.
Just keep the faith.

Repentance is very important. We need to resist temptation. What is more important is to constantly be reaching out to the Lord in our minds. I think Paul said it best:

"Pray Constantly." 1 Thess 5:17 RSV