I LOST MY HAPPINESS BECAUSE OF A RELATIONSHIP

FIRST PAIN
"Don't move alone at night you may be raped. Don't listen to secular music or watch movies." these wre some of the rules my ex-boyfriend gave me. He got sick I left home to take care of him for more than a month. When I came back my parents could not trust me anymore. One day I was going from my town to his town to do some urgent shopping mum sent me. I called telling him that I was going to his town but I will be back the following day day but he told me, "I am very busy today don't disturb me with your calls again". I arrived midday the same day and I did not call him as instructed. His friend told him that I was in his town He accused me of not telling him that I arrived. The follong day I was suppose to go shopping and he told me that he will take me to shopping and then escort me to the bus deport. Guess what I waited for 3 days the fourth day I was tired in the afternoon I went for shopping. As I was leaving the compound I saw him comming to take me to shopping. Since I was frustruted I turned him down. In the evening he came and asked me why I did that to him I explained to him my views but he kept on telling people that I ended the relationship since I had another guy. I LOST MY RELATIONSHIP AND MY PARENTS TRUST(FOR THE SECOND TIME). THIS WAS 2005.

SECOND PAIN
It all started in 2009 when I graduated from a certain university and started working a distance of 766km away from my fiance. My girl friend I was living with knew a married male friend who wanted to also be my friend but he realised that i showed no interest. Mid 2011 I was travelling with my fiance and this man told my fiance that he want me back and that we were in a relationship since 2009. I refused to give him my phone number but i don't know who gave him my phone number and email address. he kept calling, sending emails and text message saying I should tell him the day he should come to take me to his house to be his wife. He said the time that we agreed has come. I tried to change my phone number and stop responding his email but it did not work, he kept sending more messages.

At this time my friend who was outside our country for one year just arrived. the weekend I was planning to go and see her this man sent a text message that if am free I should meet him there the same weekend. I saw that my life is useless. I lost my (5 year) relationship, happiness, joy and performance in class dropped(since this time I was at school doing my further education), and I was lonelly. I said why me Lord this time again. For two days I rocked my self in my room not talking to anyone and indeed life was useless.

I tried to talk to my fiance that I was innocent but I was unable to convice him. After a month he told me it was difficult to believe me that I was innocent and he said he will trust me again if a wealth to be trusted. Since 2011 I have never been happy. I don't know if I will be happy again in my life.

NO offence intended, but it is very difficult to understand what you have written. However, the title alone speaks volumes.
Being in a relationship will bring happiness to some degree, but ultimately your relationship with Christ will give you the happiness and peace of mind that you really need.
I don't know where you are from, and how much emphasis is placed on relationships, but, it's worth seems very large coming from your post. A man does not make you, who you are. You are everything you are because of Christ.
Anyone who does not trust you, the way in which you have explained, is not worth your time anyway? Don't you agree. These men sound like people you don't want for a husband anyways. The man that loves and trusts you whole heartedly, with a heart like christ's is what you should be looking for. Anyone else is an imposter!
Do things that make you happy. Think about what happiness you can have all by yourself, and everything will fall into place. (in the other areas of life.)

Yes, Strong1, good post. She should be grateful to have these men rooted out of her life before she made a mistake.

I know the feeling, rosary. I was engaged once, and when it ended i was devastated. But as i look back now, sure, it still hurts some, but i also see how good it is that i didn't marry this person. I wasn't ready. She wasn't ready. It would have been a horrible mistake. You need to come to this same awareness over your past relationships.

Also, it sounds like you need to spend some time learning to spot red flags in men. You deserve better men than these, especially the first man. Don't be content to take any man that comes along so you can hurry to marry. Take time to get to know them. Pay attention to how they treat you as a friend, how they treat other friends. How they treat strangers, cashiers, waitresses, etc... Is he strict? Demanding? Kind? Don't say he's 'nice'. Nice means nothing. You need to look deeper than that because everyone puts up a nice front, especially when you are attracted to someone. If you can find the book in this link ~~> Amazon.com: Safe People: How to Find Relationships That Are Good for You and Avoid Those That Aren't (0025986210847): Henry Cloud, John Townsend: Books i would recommend reading it before attempting any more relationships. Its written by two Christian psychologists.

I WANT TO GET MARRIED NEXT YEAR BUT WITH THIS KIND OF RELATIONSHIP AM AFFRAID

rosary hello welcome to Christian Chat Chat
God Bless,

You want to get married next year, but who says you're ready to be married? Or who says God wants you to be married next year? Seems like you're just in a hurry to get married and not considering God, not considering if you should be, not using much wisdom at all. Just running out blindly to get married as soon as possible. You're sure to crash and burn with that mentality.

The people on this post are trying to help you put more value on who you are...

The first thing you should be doing is... asking God to be in charge of finding you a husband.

I will pray that You will find yourself worth, and that you will come to see what you have to offer a future husband,

has a great value. Do you have an older women you can go and talk to...that you can trust her judgement.

I will be praying God gives you wisdom and understanding.

May God bless you and keep you.