Please help

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M

mino

Guest
#1
#1
I'm married and having 2 kids. My marriage is a arranged marriage. There were small small misunderstanding between my husband and me earlier period in our marriage. But recently there were fights. He use bad words when he fight and it hurts a lot. I am one always go behind him and pacifying him and he never say sorry. He always say I am the one who makes mistake. For past two months I see some secrecy in the way he behaves.he keeps the phone password locked which he never does and he scolds me if I call him even after office hours. I asked him directly whether he is having affair which he denied. However there is something which I couldn't fathom. My kids get affected by our fight, which is hurting me a lot. Now I wanted to divorce him as he uses abusive words. I come from God fearing family. My brother asking me to try patch up things, which I couldn't do as my husband is not cooperating me. My husband also goes to church and very active in church activities, but at the same time it's ok for him to watch port movie or play with himself. Now I want to decide whether to continue living with him or to divorce. I want to give another try to marriage. Please help me to decide. I also can't divorce easily as I would be the first person to divorce in mt family generation. Is it wrong of me to doubt him. What shall I do? Should I ignore everything? Please pray and help me and my kids. Thank you
 
M

MadParrotWoman

Guest
#2
#2
mino said:
I'm married and having 2 kids. My marriage is a arranged marriage. There were small small misunderstanding between my husband and me earlier period in our marriage. But recently there were fights. He use bad words when he fight and it hurts a lot. I am one always go behind him and pacifying him and he never say sorry. He always say I am the one who makes mistake. For past two months I see some secrecy in the way he behaves.he keeps the phone password locked which he never does and he scolds me if I call him even after office hours. I asked him directly whether he is having affair which he denied. However there is something which I couldn't fathom. My kids get affected by our fight, which is hurting me a lot. Now I wanted to divorce him as he uses abusive words. I come from God fearing family. My brother asking me to try patch up things, which I couldn't do as my husband is not cooperating me. My husband also goes to church and very active in church activities, but at the same time it's ok for him to watch port movie or play with himself. Now I want to decide whether to continue living with him or to divorce. I want to give another try to marriage. Please help me to decide. I also can't divorce easily as I would be the first person to divorce in mt family generation. Is it wrong of me to doubt him. What shall I do? Should I ignore everything? Please pray and help me and my kids. Thank you
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Of course there are people here who will pray for you. At this stage you don't need to be thinking of divorce but you, along with your children do need to be safe and so it's for that reason you need to leave. Don't inform him of your decision just pack and go when he isn't around. DO NOT let him know where you are. Do you have more distant family or friends you can stay with? If not the Salvation army or women's refuge will not turn you or your children away. Until you do this, make a note of all his unreasonable behaviour, dates and times and log it - you may need this in the future.

A violent, abusive and cheating husband is never going to change whatever he says or however much you want it.
 
U

Ugly

Guest
#3
#3
I agree with Mad. Abusive men almost never change. The chances of your husband quitting his behavior is very very unlikely. You need to put yourself and your children at greater importance than your families opinions.
 
Jimbone

Jimbone

Senior Member
#4
Aug 22, 2014
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#4
Ugly said:
I agree with Mad. Abusive men almost never change. The chances of your husband quitting his behavior is very very unlikely. You need to put yourself and your children at greater importance than your families opinions.
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I agree with you people can't change on their own, but we are not on our own. The likely hood of him changing on his own is very small, but we know what our God can do. This is what He does and what His Son, our Savior came to pay the price for. God can change this man just as He changed us, but all we can do is pray for him and support our sister here reaching out. We will pray for Him Mino, and may His will be done in your families life.
 
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