Still without a church

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Oct 22, 2021
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#1
My name is Dan, and I'm an introvert. I've just been wondering how other introverts deal with attending church and participating in church activities, evangelism in particular. It seems that all churches cater to the extrovert. There is a lack of understanding in church about the nature of the introvert; social gatherings cause anxiety and are exhausting, whereas extroverts are energized and excited about being around people and participating. Introverts also gain energy and passion when being alone, which in my case always leads me to feel more connected with Christ. In the past introverts were considered broken yet redeemable, but through scientific discovery we've found it's related to brain structure and chemical processes. I don't feel the church has accepted the immutable differences in the individual, and still push a program that does not cater to all people.

Through study I've found that church attendance is not a requirement for a Jesus centered life. Church is helpful, but constant reading of scripture and prayer can be just as fulfilling.

I guess this is primarily a venting session for me. I've tried to cross t's and dot i's in my Faith journey, but church membership and attendance is my #1 sticking point. I prefer to walk in the woods on the weekends (which day is the Sabbath anyway?) and pray/sing. I understand the need for fellowship, but can't this be accomplished by finding one other person to join with? What am I missing?

I've been to most every Protestant church around but there is always one issue that doesn't align with my understanding of scripture. Worse yet, there have been churches that preach things that make me lose my passion in being with Christ. Lutherans seemed good, since I am a former Catholic, and prefer liturgical masses, until one of the intercessional requests was for the acceptance of trans individuals. (I would pray for the salvation, and against violence for such people, but acceptance is a different animal). For that reason it looks like the Presbyterian and Episcopal churches are also off the list. Evangelical churches have the right idea, but they have coffee shops in the lobby, use non-biblical hymns, and preach justification without giving proper heed to sanctification. The baptist church had the music right, and the message was good, but I wouldn't be comfortable with sharing everything about myself, and attendance seems mandatory. The reformed church I went to was intense. I attended a prayer group meeting that was advertised on a sign outside. The meeting lasted three hours. I wasn't supposed to be there really, since I had to be a member, which requires a bevy of classes and mass attendance, but they were kind enough to let me join. They matched up with my Faith, but they were really deep into the Old Testament. I mean REALLY into it. I don't believe they mentioned Jesus except during group prayer.

Lately I've just been attending Catholic mass intermittently. I am not totally comfortable since I don't believe in trans-substantiation or attendance requirements, but I get to pray with others and sing the hymns. I need the fellowship and friendship, but I suppose it has to be on my terms. Ideally, I would like to make friends with a person of similar beliefs and pray together one or more times a week, confess sins to each other, break bread, organize our own outreach, listen to various preachers on Youtube, read the New Testament, sing Psalms, and then go about our life. That sounds like a church right? I guess it's a lot like AA but with less people. I'm curious to hear thoughts. I apologize if I offended anyone or their denomination. These are just my thoughts and rantings :) Thank you.
 

oyster67

Senior Member
May 24, 2014
11,887
8,697
113
#2
My name is Dan, and I'm an introvert. I've just been wondering how other introverts deal with attending church and participating in church activities, evangelism in particular. It seems that all churches cater to the extrovert. There is a lack of understanding in church about the nature of the introvert; social gatherings cause anxiety and are exhausting,
Don't worry Dan, you are fine. You are exhausted because you overthink things. You should be celebrating your new life in Christ. You have even found a wife!

You need to understand (I think you are coming around to this already) that you are already a member of Christ's body right now. Think of the local Church as a place where you might be able to extend your opportunities to serve when you feel ready.

I assure you that you are complete in Christ and a member of His body right now. The fact that you just posted to CC means that you are growing and moving forward. Don't let Satan bring you down with a false sense of inadequacy.

We warmly welcome thee to your new family here at CC! :)(y):coffee:

Coming here was a bold step and I salute you! :D(y)
 

oyster67

Senior Member
May 24, 2014
11,887
8,697
113
#3
(which day is the Sabbath anyway?)
Most meet the first day of the week. That is Sunday for most of us, but it is not a problem with me if you rest on the seventh day. That is your call.

can't this be accomplished by finding one other person to join with?
I think so.

A heightened degree of accountability. In theory, this is supposed to be a good thing, but you need to be aware of the potential for abuse.

I apologize if I offended anyone or their denomination.
Denominations are not Biblical. They are a thorn in the side of the Bride. You will not find a perfect Church. Attend Church with the thought of helping them to grow and mature. A Church that has a little humility should accept you as a full-fledged brother once they get to know you. Communicate with them. Don't just sit there like a bottom-feeding zombie. Let the Spirit guide you. I attend a Church where I don't think all the stuff they do is necessary, but they know my feelings because we commune one with another. I will yield on some of the minor things just to keep the peace. The Bible says this is OK.

1 Corinthians 8:13
“Wherefore, if meat make my brother to offend, I will eat no flesh while the world standeth, lest I make my brother to offend.”
 

Aria

New member
Nov 2, 2023
2
0
1
#4
My name is Dan, and I'm an introvert. I've just been wondering how other introverts deal with attending church and participating in church activities, evangelism in particular. It seems that all churches cater to the extrovert. There is a lack of understanding in church about the nature of the introvert; social gatherings cause anxiety and are exhausting, whereas extroverts are energized and excited about being around people and participating. Introverts also gain energy and passion when being alone, which in my case always leads me to feel more connected with Christ. In the past introverts were considered broken yet redeemable, but through scientific discovery we've found it's related to brain structure and chemical processes. I don't feel the church has accepted the immutable differences in the individual, and still push a program that does not cater to all people.

Through study I've found that church attendance is not a requirement for a Jesus centered life. Church is helpful, but constant reading of scripture and prayer can be just as fulfilling.

I guess this is primarily a venting session for me. I've tried to cross t's and dot i's in my Faith journey, but church membership and attendance is my #1 sticking point. I prefer to walk in the woods on the weekends (which day is the Sabbath anyway?) and pray/sing. I understand the need for fellowship, but can't this be accomplished by finding one other person to join with? What am I missing?

I've been to most every Protestant church around but there is always one issue that doesn't align with my understanding of scripture. Worse yet, there have been churches that preach things that make me lose my passion in being with Christ. Lutherans seemed good, since I am a former Catholic, and prefer liturgical masses, until one of the intercessional requests was for the acceptance of trans individuals. (I would pray for the salvation, and against violence for such people, but acceptance is a different animal). For that reason it looks like the Presbyterian and Episcopal churches are also off the list. Evangelical churches have the right idea, but they have coffee shops in the lobby, use non-biblical hymns, and preach justification without giving proper heed to sanctification. The baptist church had the music right, and the message was good, but I wouldn't be comfortable with sharing everything about myself, and attendance seems mandatory. The reformed church I went to was intense. I attended a prayer group meeting that was advertised on a sign outside. The meeting lasted three hours. I wasn't supposed to be there really, since I had to be a member, which requires a bevy of classes and mass attendance, but they were kind enough to let me join. They matched up with my Faith, but they were really deep into the Old Testament. I mean REALLY into it. I don't believe they mentioned Jesus except during group prayer.

Lately I've just been attending Catholic mass intermittently. I am not totally comfortable since I don't believe in trans-substantiation or attendance requirements, but I get to pray with others and sing the hymns. I need the fellowship and friendship, but I suppose it has to be on my terms. Ideally, I would like to make friends with a person of similar beliefs and pray together one or more times a week, confess sins to each other, break bread, organize our own outreach, listen to various preachers on Youtube, read the New Testament, sing Psalms, and then go about our life. That sounds like a church right? I guess it's a lot like AA but with less people. I'm curious to hear thoughts. I apologize if I offended anyone or their denomination. These are just my thoughts and rantings :) Thank you.
Yeah people can relate. I go to the one God picked them can stick it out better. Been in denominational ones too and visit a good Lutheran one as in the Interchurch prayer group( more my tribe & zoom prayer hopefully). It takes awhile to fit in and find your fit. I'm half introvert and wish was more as sharing can set you up. When a year ago had no fellowship for 3 years I got closer to Him and was free of the group dynamics that happen. Have to guard against going that way as in a go-getter...zeal church. Hear Him His Voice the answer. God open our eyes, ears and senses. Lately it's " go slow & put away childish things...He means thinking" been a long time christian, senior now. God will remove the Babylonian spirit.