It's so interesting to me to read a thread like this. NOT because I'm interested in arguing with the op or even engaging with him, but because I always learn from it and become wiser for the protecting of my brothers.
This isn't the first site I've been a member of. I joined one soon after I met God and was there for many years and met a lot of good brothers in Christ. But when I first joined there, I had the same bewilderment over banning people who obviously needed God! I never became overly vocal about it or challenged the mods like some do, but it made me feel a lot of sorrow. And my main thought in it was, but if He could save me, bad off as I was and still can be at times, then He can save them.
I didn't know about discernment from the Spirit. I didn't yet understand that it was a gift from the Spirit and that it grows as we grow. I didn't understand that those who had walked in the Spirit longer and more consistently than me had been given something I had not, and that they were guided to see when others were ready for love and when they were not. And I didn't understand that it has nothing to do with apologetics but with a drawing of the person from God that makes them open to honest inquiry.
A man with better discernment (and even his is still growing) is able to see things not by his own power. I don't mean he just knows exactly, but God shows him. This is like when it says, and he saw that the man had faith to be healed...the apostle was not guessing based on some level of enthusiasm, he was knowing and seeing it. It wasn't a vague guess. He had insight not of himself.
This doesn't mean a man with discernment has this gift in such a way that he can go down a line of people and say, yes, stay, you out, stay, stay, nope, you have to leave. It doesn't mean don't strew seed extravagently. But this gift of discernment comes when the Spirit works, for the good of His people.
So it's good to have a lack of guile and a heart that always hopes, and it's good to have watchdogs. God gifts the watchdogs and gives them the sight to see, through this gift, if a man is not ready for love and is just there to sew discord.
Blain, your heart is good in the matter. You worked well to sew some seed. You are not without all discernment and you probably were right about his heart becoming slightly softer, but don't worry, another will water, and God causes the growth. And you don't know if him being banned will result in greater respect in him the next time he hears and has contact with a believer or what will come of the seed you planted. God can be trusted.
Thank God that God knows what He is doing.