I have always been a Christian, since I can remember. The last few years I've felt that my relationship with Christ has grown and matured greatly. I have been addicted to porn since I was 12 (now 18) For 6 years I have struggled with living in the constant cloud of overwhelming guilt and shame. I have tried everything to quit. I have seeked help and accountability many times. I’ve watched the videos. I’ve read the books. I've heard it all. Ive literally tried everything. Nothing has worked. I always keep saying that I’m not going to do it anymore, but I always go back. I hate it. I hate the videos I’ve watched. I hate the images that are permanently in my head. I always wish I could unsee everything. I’m super involved in my church and I’m the last person people would think to have an addiction. I'm a worship and youth leader, and it's so hard leading and guiding people to Jesus when I struggle with this because I know what I'm saying is contradicting in my personal life. I want to see redemption win, I want to see the struggle end, but it feels like I never will.
Will I ever see redemption win?
- Thread starter Keels
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Hello and welcome, delighted to have you here. Your not alone here, I myself still struggle with lust, as I did at your age. But, the difference from then and now, is I am cover by the blood of Jesus, even though I may slip from time to time. I know if stay close to the Lord and repent daily, he will continue to sustain me. So keep your head up and focused on Christ, instead of your current situation and God will make your path straight. God Bless.
No, the struggle will never stop because you are human, and sexual desire is part of who we are. The answer is summed up in appropriate release. Finding approapriate strategies for you to obtain release will be a life long issue. Pornography has not helped because it has given a quick addictive way to create an emotional state on demand just like a drug. It is though like any behaviour something love can conquer. Sex is only dangerous when the consequences of action get removed from the desire itself. It is not a sin to have desires, it is a sin to act on them inappropriately. From what you say your addiction has not lead to actual inappropriate relationships, which demonstrates a large amount of control on your part. What may help you is to think of how sexual expression would be shown in an appropriate marriage relationship, and how you could work towards this. Unfortunately you are like many 12 year old addicts, you blame yourself when you have been exploited and trapped, the question is now to find a way out.
Trust me, you haven't begun to scratch the surface of all the good-meaning, but ineffectual material out there.
I've worked on my own, prayed, read books, watched videos, gone to classes, taught classes, and been involved in just about anything you can mention to help overcome the effects of this subject. I'm almost 70, and I still have problems in this area.
But, even as I am being groomed to lead yet another class, I am seeing all of the typical "failure" methods presented one more time. I'm still attending the training sessions, but I am also doing something else.
There is a general move in America, shaking some of us slumbering Christians awake. And this sensitive area is not being neglected. Presently, I have just begun another book. "Yes", I figured it was the same old rhetoric clueless Christians have been desperately shoveling piles of for decades. But this book is not shaping up that way.
This man may not have all the answers, either, but he is far closer than anyone I have ever read yet. If you are serious about getting a handle on this, I heartily recommend THIS BOOK.
This powerful man of God has made the book about as inexpensive as he can, ($9.99) in Kindle format, and from what I have discovered, so far, it is well worth the few bucks. It's certainly all up to you, but a very hopeful answer has just been laid in your lap.
I've worked on my own, prayed, read books, watched videos, gone to classes, taught classes, and been involved in just about anything you can mention to help overcome the effects of this subject. I'm almost 70, and I still have problems in this area.
But, even as I am being groomed to lead yet another class, I am seeing all of the typical "failure" methods presented one more time. I'm still attending the training sessions, but I am also doing something else.
There is a general move in America, shaking some of us slumbering Christians awake. And this sensitive area is not being neglected. Presently, I have just begun another book. "Yes", I figured it was the same old rhetoric clueless Christians have been desperately shoveling piles of for decades. But this book is not shaping up that way.
This man may not have all the answers, either, but he is far closer than anyone I have ever read yet. If you are serious about getting a handle on this, I heartily recommend THIS BOOK.
This powerful man of God has made the book about as inexpensive as he can, ($9.99) in Kindle format, and from what I have discovered, so far, it is well worth the few bucks. It's certainly all up to you, but a very hopeful answer has just been laid in your lap.
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I can personally relate to your addiction. I, too, have always been a CHRISTIAN, my dad is a pastor and I am a licensed minister..but I find, on occasions, that porno has always tried to bite me in the tushy! It is so strange..for I have never ever been drunk nor even buzzed, I have never taken drugs, I have never smoked nor even cursed or said a 'bad word'. My life has been filled with exciting CHRISTIAN events, witnessing, choirs, gospel groups, Holy SPIRIT filled services, etc. and here I am struggling with this seemingly 'little' thing that keeps me on edge. I avoid it as much and as long as I can, but have yielded to some of the free videos found online. I do not purchase porno, do not own any, but because of my own struggles, I can now easily discern others in my social circles that are experiencing the same thing. They do not have to tell me, I instantly know once I am around them.
I am not judging them, but I have on occasion met with one who was a leader in my church..a choir director and Sunday school teacher. I first called my pastor and he then contacted this person and we agreed to meet privately in his office to pray and follow new testament procedure when we find 'fault' with our brethren. This man was a leader, and was getting ready to be asked to become a deacon. We were the same age.
What happened next was the stuff that is written for a movie script. This little man, addicted to porno and trying to live a double life, suddenly rolled his eyes back into his head, his voice changed, he stood up, grew in size and became something else, other than what he was. My pastor and I tried to escape out of the room..he grabbed us and threw us around like dish rags, snarling and making noises. As quickly as he changed, he returned back to his own self, drenched in sweat. His body was completely soaked and he started crying and sobbing. The demon within had revealed himself. We prayed and the next Sunday, he resigned, telling our congregation that GOD has moved him onward to another location. Within two months later, we got word that this man had died of AIDS. He had contracted it because of all the extra sexual contacts made, due to his addiction. This is just what old satan does.
You and I have just hit the tip of the iceburg on this..and it can only lead to deeper dispair..I praise GOD that we are owning this addiction...facing it...admitting our weakness and facing it daily..with GOD's help. I have never mentioned this to anyone..my family, friends, etc..because of the shame and guilt I feel. There is HOPE..there is deliverance and there is a light at the end of the tunnel...and I am almost there..although I realize that satan will keep throwing darts at me..trying to lure me....but I am actually getting stronger..I feel it..I sense it..and my prayers are not going unheard...GOD is wrapping both of us in HIS arms and comforting us now...My brother, I love your spirit, I love your total honestly and I will promise that I will pray for you...not as a last resort, but as a double connection to the most powerful weapon we both have access to.....JESUS CHRIST Himself who understands!
I am not judging them, but I have on occasion met with one who was a leader in my church..a choir director and Sunday school teacher. I first called my pastor and he then contacted this person and we agreed to meet privately in his office to pray and follow new testament procedure when we find 'fault' with our brethren. This man was a leader, and was getting ready to be asked to become a deacon. We were the same age.
What happened next was the stuff that is written for a movie script. This little man, addicted to porno and trying to live a double life, suddenly rolled his eyes back into his head, his voice changed, he stood up, grew in size and became something else, other than what he was. My pastor and I tried to escape out of the room..he grabbed us and threw us around like dish rags, snarling and making noises. As quickly as he changed, he returned back to his own self, drenched in sweat. His body was completely soaked and he started crying and sobbing. The demon within had revealed himself. We prayed and the next Sunday, he resigned, telling our congregation that GOD has moved him onward to another location. Within two months later, we got word that this man had died of AIDS. He had contracted it because of all the extra sexual contacts made, due to his addiction. This is just what old satan does.
You and I have just hit the tip of the iceburg on this..and it can only lead to deeper dispair..I praise GOD that we are owning this addiction...facing it...admitting our weakness and facing it daily..with GOD's help. I have never mentioned this to anyone..my family, friends, etc..because of the shame and guilt I feel. There is HOPE..there is deliverance and there is a light at the end of the tunnel...and I am almost there..although I realize that satan will keep throwing darts at me..trying to lure me....but I am actually getting stronger..I feel it..I sense it..and my prayers are not going unheard...GOD is wrapping both of us in HIS arms and comforting us now...My brother, I love your spirit, I love your total honestly and I will promise that I will pray for you...not as a last resort, but as a double connection to the most powerful weapon we both have access to.....JESUS CHRIST Himself who understands!
I agree with your observation, but the point I was making which the Lord laid on my heart, was I blame myself for circumstances beyond my control, rather than accepting I am a human who can be led astray. Often sensitive people do not recognise the strength they have within, downplay their choices and tell themselves there are not other choices to make. One of the hardest things for me was to accept rejection as part of learning how to express love. So many end up in sexual sin because they fail at being honest about simple emotional needs, the sin is just a symtom of a deeper problem. Marriages have been broken, ministries wreaked because they knew the person they thought they loved, was a dream of a teenager which needed to be remade. So though I agree with you a paragraph will not answer the point, because it is just a path with a signpost, I hope we can communicate the struggle and also a testimony of resolution. I would point to King David and Samson as two who struggled and failed but still found blessing in their repentance.....
C
Greetings,
I'd like to offer some advice. Take what advice you are given and if it helps, use it. You are human, a man in the flesh and seeking self pleasures is wrong in this way. Instead of feeling shame, go toward an activity that would interest you and be pleasing to God. You should be able to find as much pleasure in a new hobby that would be lifting up The Lord and if has been successful to you, share it with others. There could possibly many out there sharing in your same struggles who could benefit from your example. I'll pray the ideas you need will come to you and help you become the change you would like to see happen! God Bless!
Jerricka
I'd like to offer some advice. Take what advice you are given and if it helps, use it. You are human, a man in the flesh and seeking self pleasures is wrong in this way. Instead of feeling shame, go toward an activity that would interest you and be pleasing to God. You should be able to find as much pleasure in a new hobby that would be lifting up The Lord and if has been successful to you, share it with others. There could possibly many out there sharing in your same struggles who could benefit from your example. I'll pray the ideas you need will come to you and help you become the change you would like to see happen! God Bless!
Jerricka
Hi I'm responding to your post because the Most High God (Yah) has guided me here. Read this and meditate on it. There is therefore now no condemnation to them which are in Christ Jesus, who walk not after the flesh, but after the Spirit. For the law of the Spirit of life in Christ Jesus hath made me free from the law of sin and death. For what the law could not do, in that it was weak through the flesh, God sending his own Son in the likeness of sinful flesh, and for sin, condemned sin in the flesh: That the righteousness of the law might be fulfilled in us, who walk not after the flesh, but after the Spirit. For they that are after the flesh do mind the things of the flesh; but they that are after the Spirit the things of the Spirit. For to be carnally minded is death; but to be spiritually minded is life and peace. Because the carnal mind is enmity against God: for it is not subject to the law of God, neither indeed can be. So then they that are in the flesh cannot please God. But ye are not in the flesh, but in the Spirit, if so be that the Spirit of God dwell in you. Now if any man have not the Spirit of Christ, he is none of his. And if Christ be in you, the body is dead because of sin; but the Spirit is life because of righteousness. (*Romans *8:*1-10 KJV)
We have to fight satans kingdom as Christ did Sir. We need to be delivered from these sins (demons). You have a body soul and spirit. The body is living because of the spirit God breathed into you and the soul is your intellect, feelings and emotions. We all know the devil comes to kill still and destroy but he not in a red suite and a pitchfork. He uses your soul, feelings emotions and intellect to get you to do his work. That's why he tells us to put the full armor of Christ.
Finally, my brethren, be strong in the Lord, and in the power of his might. Put on the whole armour of God, that ye may be able to stand against the wiles of the devil. For we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this world, against spiritual wickedness in high places. Wherefore take unto you the whole armour of God, that ye may be able to withstand in the evil day, and having done all, to stand. Stand therefore, having your loins girt about with truth, and having on the breastplate of righteousness; And your feet shod with the preparation of the gospel of peace; Above all, taking the shield of faith, wherewith ye shall be able to quench all the fiery darts of the wicked. And take the helmet of salvation, and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God: Praying always with all prayer and supplication in the Spirit, and watching thereunto with all perseverance and supplication for all saints; And for me, that utterance may be given unto me, that I may open my mouth boldly, to make known the mystery of the gospel, (*Ephesians *6:*10-19 KJV)
One more also study this and ask yourself why we're not doing these things anymore... And these signs shall follow them that believe; In my name shall they cast out devils; they shall speak with new tongues; They shall take up serpents; and if they drink any deadly thing, it shall not hurt them; they shall lay hands on the sick, and they shall recover. (*Mark *16:*17-18 KJV) Ok before anyone even thinks about the taking up of serpents if you do your dodilagents you find it speaking on devils or demons. The drinking of any deadly thing is when you are unaware. Thanks for reading and if you have any questions about deliverance ( binding and loosing) please feel free to contact me @ [email protected]
We have to fight satans kingdom as Christ did Sir. We need to be delivered from these sins (demons). You have a body soul and spirit. The body is living because of the spirit God breathed into you and the soul is your intellect, feelings and emotions. We all know the devil comes to kill still and destroy but he not in a red suite and a pitchfork. He uses your soul, feelings emotions and intellect to get you to do his work. That's why he tells us to put the full armor of Christ.
Finally, my brethren, be strong in the Lord, and in the power of his might. Put on the whole armour of God, that ye may be able to stand against the wiles of the devil. For we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this world, against spiritual wickedness in high places. Wherefore take unto you the whole armour of God, that ye may be able to withstand in the evil day, and having done all, to stand. Stand therefore, having your loins girt about with truth, and having on the breastplate of righteousness; And your feet shod with the preparation of the gospel of peace; Above all, taking the shield of faith, wherewith ye shall be able to quench all the fiery darts of the wicked. And take the helmet of salvation, and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God: Praying always with all prayer and supplication in the Spirit, and watching thereunto with all perseverance and supplication for all saints; And for me, that utterance may be given unto me, that I may open my mouth boldly, to make known the mystery of the gospel, (*Ephesians *6:*10-19 KJV)
One more also study this and ask yourself why we're not doing these things anymore... And these signs shall follow them that believe; In my name shall they cast out devils; they shall speak with new tongues; They shall take up serpents; and if they drink any deadly thing, it shall not hurt them; they shall lay hands on the sick, and they shall recover. (*Mark *16:*17-18 KJV) Ok before anyone even thinks about the taking up of serpents if you do your dodilagents you find it speaking on devils or demons. The drinking of any deadly thing is when you are unaware. Thanks for reading and if you have any questions about deliverance ( binding and loosing) please feel free to contact me @ [email protected]
A suggestion.....
Back off that attitude of firing everyone from your pulpits who has a problem. Before very long, all you will have left to listen to are men who are lying about other things, too.
And worse yet, don't you begin deciding for God whom He will, and whom He will not select to preach His word. He had a prophet marry a whore, and another one travel around half-naked for years.
Back off that attitude of firing everyone from your pulpits who has a problem. Before very long, all you will have left to listen to are men who are lying about other things, too.
And worse yet, don't you begin deciding for God whom He will, and whom He will not select to preach His word. He had a prophet marry a whore, and another one travel around half-naked for years.
V
What a frightening account regarding the demoniac man who died of AIDS. It reminded me of something that happened years ago which left me perplexed. My best friend from church called to tell me her husband, who was a deacon, was on his way to our home with a dresser they wanted to give to my daughter. My husband was at work and I had no intention of letting this man into the home, deacon or no deacon. When he arrived, he was wearing nothing but a pair of swimming trunks which I thought was extremely odd. I told him to leave the dresser on our front porch and I'd help my husband bring it into the house later. Suddenly, he became animated like a child, bouncing around and pleading desperately to use our bathroom. I refused to allow him into my house but he became erratic and shoved me aside and ran upstairs to our bathroom.
I was dumbfounded. I discerned something off kilter but had no idea what was actually happening. The old fashioned cord phone was all the way into the kitchen but I was afraid to leave the front door entrance. Something told me to ready an escape if things got any weirder. After several minutes, he descended the stairs slowly, robotically while talking in a strange, throaty voice. He made all sorts of vulgar references. Something told me not to make any sudden moves so I stood firmly by the front door while sternly directing him to leave my house.
As he approached the door, he turned and went face to face with me. I saw he was sweating, his lips quivering, his body trembling like an animal ready to pounce, his voice eerie and deep. It was like how the Alien went nose to nose with Ripley/Sigourney Weaver in the Alien movie. I was petrified. I discerned he could take me apart. Ultimately I took authority and demanded he leave my house, which he did. But as he walked down our porch steps, he turned and spoke gleefully in his "normal" voice, "I'll see you at church Sunday!"
That incident astounded me. I have often wondered how many other people have had such encounters with people like that. I'm certain it's a spiritual matter and I praise the Lord for protecting me. But it was freaky nonetheless.
I was dumbfounded. I discerned something off kilter but had no idea what was actually happening. The old fashioned cord phone was all the way into the kitchen but I was afraid to leave the front door entrance. Something told me to ready an escape if things got any weirder. After several minutes, he descended the stairs slowly, robotically while talking in a strange, throaty voice. He made all sorts of vulgar references. Something told me not to make any sudden moves so I stood firmly by the front door while sternly directing him to leave my house.
As he approached the door, he turned and went face to face with me. I saw he was sweating, his lips quivering, his body trembling like an animal ready to pounce, his voice eerie and deep. It was like how the Alien went nose to nose with Ripley/Sigourney Weaver in the Alien movie. I was petrified. I discerned he could take me apart. Ultimately I took authority and demanded he leave my house, which he did. But as he walked down our porch steps, he turned and spoke gleefully in his "normal" voice, "I'll see you at church Sunday!"
That incident astounded me. I have often wondered how many other people have had such encounters with people like that. I'm certain it's a spiritual matter and I praise the Lord for protecting me. But it was freaky nonetheless.
V
Hello and welcome, Keels. Thank you for sharing your heart with us. Will you ever see Redemption win? Redemption DID win, my young sister. Jesus conquered sin, death, guilt and shame. \
/ I think the book Willie-T recommends would be a great help to you. In the meantime, I pray gracious blessings to you and peace that surpasses understanding, in the name of our Lord and Friend, Jesus Christ.
/ I think the book Willie-T recommends would be a great help to you. In the meantime, I pray gracious blessings to you and peace that surpasses understanding, in the name of our Lord and Friend, Jesus Christ.