WWJD

I'm sorry, this is my second new thread:/ I'll try something different with this one.
So I've been mostly faithfully married for almost nineteen years to a beautiful woman who was molested by her mothers boyfriend from the ages 7 through 12. My whole marriage I have dealt with her jealousy, anger, control issues and now ..raw hate!
Four months ago I was one day away from filing for divorce, when out of nowhere a close friend that i haven't seen in 20 years shows up in my life with God at his side. He opened my eyes to the big picture, and he was determined to fix my marriage through prayer...btw.. twenty years ago h.e was a manic depressive with an alcoholic father.

I began praying and putting my faith in God, just praying that He fix my marriage, the have done 'the love dare', and answered to her every whim, to no avail. We have 4 kids together. She started heavily drinking last year and drinks a lot now...there is so much to the story ...
Anyway...God wants 'no one to separate what God has joined'...and the only way He gives you a free "get out of sin" card is if she commits adultery.. Well call me a fool, but I actually do trust that she has not cheated in me.

The more i talk about God to her, the more she hates me... I believe I am living with the devil himself
...what does God want me to do? ...her past is not her fault

Hello, I am also VERY new to this forum. I just joined today. I actually found this site due to a personal issue. That aside, I did not grow up in the loveliest of ways. I have trust issues, abandonment issues, the list can go on due to what I had to go through. Many times my faith has been shaken to the core. I am married (almost six years now) and my husband had to deal with ALL of that. You can pray and have faith, but in all honesty SHE needs to get help for these things. You can love, support her and pray for her, but in the end she needs to resolve these issues. I would also still try to talk about God with her. I don't have any better advice than that. (Sorry!) I will pray for you and your family though.

Sometimes, this is how people act before they finally give up and let God in. It sounds like your friend's prayers and your commitment may be taking hold. If she will go to counselling that will help, of course. If not, you are the one thing keeping God in her life. As bad as it sounds, try to hang in there. The Godly love of this woman sounds like it will be worth it.

Your wife is in a very dark place and has so much just built up in her. I was molested myself and true FREEDOM only came through Jesus. You should e commeneded for ur faith and patience. Others would have just walked away.I believe what is really needed in this situation is corporate prayer and fasting. God is going to reward ur persistence. He is going to have His Way.

Maybe through all this seek not to stop this behavior from her or you, rather what you might be able to learn from it and start to trust God for the right words through you at any given situation of anger that is continuously coming forth.
[h=3]Proverbs 15[/h]New King James Version (NKJV)

15 A soft answer turns away wrath,
But a harsh word stirs up anger.
[SUP]2 [/SUP]The tongue of the wise uses knowledge rightly,

But the mouth of fools pours forth foolishness.

Ask God what this means and know God will show you, teaching you to trust him as in Matt 10

[h=3]Matthew 10:16-21[/h]New King James Version (NKJV)

[h=3]Persecutions Are Coming[/h][SUP]16 [/SUP]“Behold, I send you out as sheep in the midst of wolves. Therefore be wise as serpents and harmless as doves. [SUP]17 [/SUP]But beware of men, for they will deliver you up to councils and scourge you in their synagogues. [SUP]18 [/SUP]You will be brought before governors and kings for My sake, as a testimony to them and to the Gentiles. [SUP]19 [/SUP]But when they deliver you up, do not worry about how or what you should speak. For it will be given to you in that hour what you should speak; [SUP]20 [/SUP]for it is not you who speak, but the Spirit of your Father who speaks in you.
[SUP]21 [/SUP]“Now brother will deliver up brother to death, and a father his child; and children will rise up against parents and cause them to be put to death.

So bottom line what did Jesus do, asked Father and did as Father said and asked. This today is for us all that do believe.

Having all of you come together to give me inspiration in this time is amazing... and it really does prove that God is love.

My wife refuses counselling because she thinks there is nothing wrong with her, yet she threatens suicide at least once a week, even to our kids. She told my oldest son that her life is miserable, and he responded by telling her that's what she's choosing because if she would just trust dad ( me), that her life could be happy.

Her biological father was an abusive alcoholic.

I, on the other hand, am extremely cool tempered and even maybe too passive. Many people who know us both, have told me to get rid of her, that i deserve so much better.

I know who she is in her heart, and I know that God has great plans for her, and I THINK that God needs me to save her, but everything I try is torn apart with a wrecking ball of anger. I don't know how much more disrespect I can take... in front of friends, family and most of all my kids. I love my kids and i want to give them a loving family.

A couple of months ago, we got her to walk up to the alter and receive Jesus into her life. My friend thought that was the cure, the seed had been planted.. today she curses the mere mention of God.
She has told me in the past that when she tries to read the bible, she has vicious nightmares. She sees shawdows around her, she has seen a little girl running past her in my basement. Eleven years ago, in a very hot place in Portugal, we washed our arms in running holy water and her arms broke out in thousands of tiny blisters. What am I dealing with?

Ever since I began truly praying and putting my faith in God, things have been happening. It almost seems like God is trying to make her hit rock bottom so that she can turn to Him. Past few weeks she has been arrested for drinking and driving, children's aid has come into her life because of my daughters poor school attendance, before that DUI, she was charged with other driving offences. I have told her that if she doesn't get her life under control that i refuse to help her get out of the chaos that she creating...she says I'm cursing her by praying :/

The buddy that brought me to Christ is very Godly and has helped over fifty people. He swore that he could help us. He doesn't wanna admit to giving up, but he does admit that this is the hardest case that God has given him.

Please read Psalm 91 for yourself. Also, as I give my opinion here it is based on many of the same things you mentioned in your posts and how I have learned and am still learning to deal with my husband. We have much in common. I have often entertained the idea of whether the devil could of come to live in him. He has in the past mentioned that he wanted the devil. We also had some strange occurrences happening for a while and in years prior but are no longer a problem on that level.

So here is what I learned as I have prayed and listened to God and others that I believe God worked through to give me peace, patience and persistence in dealing with my husband. Not to mention unwavering strength.

Quit talking about God to your wife now and instead act like Jesus. Our God is testing you and your love for him so please do not give up on her. You can get through this........with Love and you know this.

Love is the greatest commandment. God has equipped you and given you the armor to win your wife to the place she deserves, in the arms of Jesus.

Depression, I have lived it twice with my mother for years during my teenage years and again with my husband for the last 20. I suggest you gently try to get her to seek counsel for that, but leave God out of the sessions for now. Just have her evaluated and make sure she is treated at all times with respect and be careful about the meds they may want to throw at her. Do your research to help her and get on the internet.

I am concerned with you very first sentence as you stated you have been mostly faithfully married for 19 years. If that means you have committed adultery at sometime in the marriage then besides all her other problems she has trust issues with you and would once again feel like you let her down. You, the one who talks to her about God.

I know that you feel like your living in hell. I get that, but unless you feel that God has told you to leave....don't. I could have left my marriage based on what the bible says. So many times I thought about it, but always stayed for the kids and now recently I have heard from God. And I have been rewarded in other ways. However, I am not being told that just because I can leave that is what I am supposed to do.

It is so easy for us to accept Christ into our hearts, but it's another to take up our cross and really walk the walk. God has shown me so many things about my marriage and things I forgot and how I was wronged deeply. I got mad when I once again remembered them and wanted to give it to my husband and leave and tell everyone the wrong that I experienced. Then He gently whispered, "I died for your sins", "You who sinned, and I forgave you all of your sins", "Forgive has you have been forgiven". "Love one another, as I have loved you".

God Bless you

This is almost exactly right, except God is not making her. Her subconscious is putting up quite a fight. That's why the visions (the little girl is probably her old self) and the blisters under the holy water. It sounds like you are doing everything you can to help her, especially continuing to be there and showing her God's love. There are such things as healing (almost exorcist) teams, that could force this to a head in a matter of days, and I can find you one if you like, but it could be disasterous if pushed too fast. Also in Toronto there are counterfeit teams that you must discern carefully to avoid.

Do you pray over your wife as she sleeps? Will she let you pray over her when she is awake? The same kinds of visions and bodily changes will follow, but they will be easier to control if it is just the two of you. As they manifest, your wife will start to see visions of what she needs to do. That is the usual method this follows.

Thank you for your replies...my almost faithfully meant that, no I did not commit adultery, I was slightly into pornography, and to someone with trust issues, that was completely unacceptable. I also have given that up completely for the sake of Jesus, I have asked for forgiveness from both Him and my wife.

Yes I have prayed over her while she slept, and my friend was able to make her pray a prayer with him, giving her life to Christ. Things still got worse after that.

Keep praying over her, and with her if she will let you. When bad dreams or odd things happen, that's her subconscious revealing what is holding back her complete healing. Pray what to do about each thing as it shows up.

I would love to pray with her, but its at the point now that every time she just looks at me it angers her!

Welcome to Christian Chat, Daszed. Pray about the decision and then decide to act. God bless.

Then pray for her and over her when you have the chance.

Reading everything that everyone has written, made me approach my wife and give her a nice loving hug, that says ' I'm here for you'. Its sad that her return hug was just as caring..but the next time we see each today, nothing will have changed

? what....didn't understand the comment. Her hug was just as caring as yours but your already being negative and saying that nothing will have changed.

daszed, if you keep thinking and saying these thoughts, nothing will change.

Ok, I'm sorry for the misunderstanding and I do try to stay optimistic. Its just that experience has made my relationship very predictable. She did hug back with love, but next time we saw each other again, she was back to being cold and distant